bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86107
 26.08.2013
She brought home a cat from a veterinarian (castrated the poor). The cat withdrew from anesthesia, raises his head with a muddy eye and screams sadly: "meaaa...". At this time, the TV advertisement of the STC and the voice on the whole room:"Where are my eggs?and "

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86106
 26.08.2013
In Russia, it is prohibited to sell alcohol for cash.

> So I see a crowd of hoppers with VISA cards...

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86105
 26.08.2013
C picaboo
by Torsedor:
I bought an apartment. has moved.
Entrance of PPC.
What was painted, there was almost a full bowl of paint and paint Scotch.
He looked around the contour and painted the door of the elevator with markers.
Within an hour, the inscription appeared:

"X...y to you, not purity"

All good neighbors!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №86104
 26.08.2013
There are disadvantages of working close to home:
I can’t even break the headphones.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №86103
 26.08.2013
For five years, the former school beauty and glorious Light worked as a cashier in a paid toilet, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, began to doubt that her life was successful.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86102
 26.08.2013
Meeting with parents, living together, marriage - all nonsense. Indeed, the next step in a relationship is to write her name into your car insurance!

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86101
 26.08.2013
XXX: Buy a few cartridges. And start connecting them to the comp with Windows until the letters are finished. See how she behaves.
yyy: You, the testers, have such a shell in your ass that even on vacation prevents you from living quietly %)

This man is now called the tester??? For it is offensive (as a simple encycler)...
The new drive will just need to be mounted as a "empty NTFS folder" (in Disk Management. You find? About the same action from the command line you still early to know, it seems.)
P.S To occupy all the letters, create the "temp" folder on disk C:
In the command line, type "FOR %d IN (d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z) DO IF NOT EXIST %d:\ SUBST %d: %systemdrive%\temp"
Voila - all the letters are occupied - play as much as you can, citizen "tester", until the card reader has spent. Better a beer for manuals drink in the holidays.

I think with this level of computer literacy you can advise Daemon Tools and a bunch of virtual drives, or somewhere at the stage "In the command line, type..." may a climb happen ;-)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №86100
 26.08.2013
The cry of the soul :)
Re: Requests for Office Manager

On the 7th floor, the sugar-sand ended to pour lemons to cognac.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №86099
 26.08.2013
The good triumphs only because evil is not used to throwing money out for all kinds of celebrations.

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №86098
 26.08.2013
The aircraft of the Israeli airline flies on the route Tel Aviv - Verona.
Of the 160 passengers, about 120 were religious Jews, clearly Sephards, with numerous children. The children are carried on the plane, their moms and dads shout on the children and scream with each other. In short, the camp has already gone to heaven. The remaining passengers desperately turn to the crew, but the crew is helpless.
A plane is not a bus for you, you won’t stop at the sidewalk and you won’t put out hooligans.
A couple of young Israelis sit in the front rows. Desperate to fall asleep or at least rest, one of them, a 30-year-old woman, stands up in the passage and slowly removes her blouse, and then the underwear. All the religious immediately silenced, covering their eyes and children. In the prevailing silence, the young woman says loudly that if there is no silence in the plane, she will take off her pants too. Her friends promise to do the same.

Before Verona in the room was quiet and quiet.
We fully support this initiative to educate children and religious fanatics!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №86097
 26.08.2013
Why do sinners go to heaven?
It is illegal, sir.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №86096
 26.08.2013
One boy from childhood was not smart by years. And in order not to be called into the army, he called himself Uncle Fedor, lived separately from his parents and spoke to the dog and cat.


[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86095
 26.08.2013
The first photo of the newlyweds was sold at the wedding. The woman gave the installation - 1000 r. The ceiling.
Well, I am not a gambler in myself, so I shouted the first "stitch". Subsequently, the bidding went sluggish and dropped all the pennies. As soon as the case reached 2000, the bidding had already stopped thoroughly, and after the phrase "two thousand, raaaaz, two thousand, twoaaaaaa...", a subtle sound of "three thousand!" was heard from the hall. And all this I do: I express a special gratitude to the educators of kindergarten No. 33 of Novokuznetsk, who approach the preparation of children for school with special diligence and taught my son to count.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №86094
 26.08.2013
and this:
This is:
Why are you so nervous in Russia? In our country, people walk quietly behind the training car, behind the bus. They don’t run out, they don’t run out, they don’t try to risk their lives. Always wait for a man to panic. You will always miss if you need to cross the crossroads to the left. Regardless of the car price.
What’s wrong with you, right?

And you live in Russia, smart man.

I’m also from Russia, but I’m not tired of wondering where our people have so much aggression from. I did not notice until there was a chance to compare and find out how it is abroad at all.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №86093
 26.08.2013
What about the face?
One of them has hit a lot...
Why are you hurt?
All have suffered!
How is?
– That this fool had a lot of ulcers, jokes... jokes... I take and give out that his jokes are flat, like the chest of his wife, that sat next to him.

What is it??????? to

Chuck, he’s not married, he even has no girlfriend.
She came with a bucket... the one that was without a breast...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №86092
 26.08.2013
The question of a successful marriage remains open. What other options are there in love is met?

I look at our local newspaper. And there is an entire basement about one family couple who lived to a golden wedding. Our town is a big village, almost everyone knows each other. I ask my mom (m):
They say they have never quarreled in 50 years.
M: It is true. He has been passionate about tourism all his life, and she is a housekeeper. Like Friday, and I'm not talking about holidays, so he's on the trip, and she's home. I rarely see them fighting. Her husband, as she said, did not do homework. So they lived their whole life almost without crossing.

Well, we reached out in parallel courses even before the golden wedding.
An option that has the right to exist.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №86091
 26.08.2013
XXX: How is it?
Yyy: Okay, I ordered toys and a child’s wheelchair here.
You don’t have a child, right?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY I chose to send mail to Russia. and :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №86090
 26.08.2013
DeDushka: Recently, a social group has emerged and is developing strongly (regardless of the standard of living, position, education, intelligence, etc.) They are called (I apologize for the expression) Eblan. They are on the roads, they are in state structures, they are nearby.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №86089
 26.08.2013
Question from the forum:
Hi, please tell me how?The letter came, the letter was in the car! the car was stolen and burned! can the letter be restored?Thanks in advance!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №86088
 26.08.2013
Talk to a friend (P)
P- In Google Chrome now there is a voice set! see! click here and talk! hi!
by Kat. And something else?
Wow, fuck in the pictures!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna