bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75327
 04.01.2013
There is a DND roll and here one of the players (in real) throws too hard on the couch by hitting his head on the box on the back of the couch.
The gamemaster is not upset: Throw a cube.
The player rubbing a hammer on his head a little bit of squid throws a cube.
The game master looked at the cube: - everything is okay, you will live, there is no shock, - after which he himself throws the cube, looks, - the box is also okay.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №75326
 04.01.2013
xxx: I get angry with advertising when they do a survey in the store and prove directly on the spot that their product is the best. Toothpaste or shampoo, for example.
A-ha "Do you believe that the Hussar condoms give the most unforgettable sensations? No is? Let me prove it to you right now!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75325
 04.01.2013
Triggers are not everywhere in bed.
Wow: laying down in the posture that most likes the capricious beauty of Triggy
Oh yeah yeah
Let’s see what a big smart I have.
XHH: And will give me the entire width of the channel

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №75324
 04.01.2013
The people’s wisdom. Never buy expensive services as a gift if there is ice on the street.
Don’t you don’t don’t? ?
HH: It is surprising, right?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №75323
 04.01.2013
On the router distribution emulator 95 wheels for android. One of the comments:
"What can be useful in this process? How to scare children"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75322
 04.01.2013
It is very difficult to open the refrigerator, see the ice shelf on the shelf, and close it. It is very, very hard to see ice beer on the table and not drink it. It is impossible to see a sleeping cat without suppressing it.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75321
 04.01.2013
XHH: Today I understood what the gift of conviction means.
I’m going home, shortly. And I hear in one of the apartments on the first floor a cat hurt. And here, in the midst of the screams, there is an incredibly calm and penetrating voice:
"That is a step! If you think that you will anything by shouting before going to bed, then, except for pizzNo"%ei, you are wrong.
I don't know how the cat, but I believed him)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №75320
 04.01.2013
1: Go to the cinema!
2: What is there?
1: Adventure movie "Life of Pi3D"
2: Figase films went 0_o
Soorry, 3D there... separately... well in the glasses

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75319
 04.01.2013
We do not only have holes in the yard, but they are also covered in the entire width of the courtyard... you go and don’t know what’s there on the bottom.
Wauu: Ah, and in the middle of the pit 7 km/h turn into 7 nodes.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №75318
 04.01.2013
No matter what the new year is, everything remains the same.
Joseph of Egypt

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №75317
 04.01.2013
How to Write a Letter to Santa.

A friend before the New Year went to visit his family and jumped into a cheap store with Chinese goods to buy their child (3 years old) puddle. He tells.

An exhausted grandmother arrives. From the threshold:
Do you have a microscope?
The girl-sellers swelled the little boy, but they do not show sight.

Maybe something else, grandmother? Look at our rich range!

What do I need from your range? My grandmother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
My grandson said to me, "Father Christmas should give me a microscope!"
- I told him: - until the New Year, there is nothing left, and you just wrote a letter to him and immediately give you a microscope! Do you have time, Santa Claus?! to

How will it not happen? How is it just now? I wrote this “watt beard” in the summer! What did he do all those six months?! to
The Doctor Borminthal
by *****
The commentary:
"Who doesn't know how to tell a child what he wants at the NH.
Do as my parents did. They told me to write a letter to Santa and throw it into the mailbox. The mailbox, they believed, was in the freezer.
c) the dream

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75316
 04.01.2013
I write a message to the girl: “I was very good with you!” I get the answer:
“Not you alone!” ... fucking ambiguous somehow...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №75315
 04.01.2013
Dad comes into the room with a bottle of water.
What about water?
A tree, and what?
Give me pls.
(He gives me a bottle and I drink out of it)
He is (laughs)
I: What is wrong?
She was fucking fertilized :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75314
 04.01.2013
I look like a hipster when I think.
Tanzen: Only my leg in my hip is as thick as a hipster's body, so I don't look like it.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №75313
 04.01.2013
Q: Have you slept?! to
WOW : WOW.
Q: What about your morality?
I guess I fucked him yesterday.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №75312
 04.01.2013
You’d see one of the New Year’s celebrations as I walked the street.
In the cowardice?
Probably saw.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №75311
 04.01.2013
I have a website dedicated to repair and repair. Everything is very clearly explained - you can immediately see what is written by the masters of their business. After all, they even have the word “lay” on the main page!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75310
 04.01.2013
I need help: how to get rid of the smell of the body? P.S. It is not my fault.)
In these cases, lemon usually helps.
In the sense of lemon juice or in the sense of money?
nn: in the sense of juice, although in the second case even more effective

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №75309
 04.01.2013
- Changed proct and mother, why does the windshield not load?
Imagine living for yourself, going to a college, studying, working, and then one day waking up.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №75308
 04.01.2013
from VK:
Jesus Christ: repent, you unbelievers!
The unbelievers? You burned up, Muhammad.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna