Student of the eighth grade about the story of Turgenev "Mu-mu":
Who wrote this at all? How could a cow get into a boat?

xxx:..And then I was clearly explained what the question was "Che, a smart doh*ya?and "
It was a mistake to say that "only to the spinal cord"(

Yesterday was wedding day.
How was marked?
I went to the ZAGS and filed for divorce.

Peter, Square of the Rebellion, pedestrian passage. There is a crowd of people on both sides, all waiting for the green. The lights switch, two crowds clash, and a guy screams:
This is Sparta!! to

wog39: I will change my passport data to “Alexander Sergeevich Dostoevsky” and rewrite “War and Peace” in poetic form in order to thrill future teachers of literature.

How to dry curtains.
You don’t have to figure out where to hang them.

Today is World Men’s Day. How did you congratulate you?
I did not give!

Dad came, boasts that he ran 10km and wasn't tired
He probably forgot to get out of the car.

My grandfather and I went to the building yesterday. I walk back to the entrance, and there is a grandmother sitting in the shop who is always bored. There’s another meter and a half to the bench, and she’s already screaming that I’ve almost drowned her. Grandfather washed off: comes out of the car and quietly, quietly, grandmother - what are you shouting?! I would take you to the cemetery, the car is yours. After half an hour, the grandmother was silent.

16:38 xxx: Who wants to get a bass guitar on the edge?
16:39 xxx: please do not bath, I just asked

Dialogue between husband and wife:
M: I am going to my birthday tonight.
J : well well. But if you come on horns, I will come on horns tomorrow.
M: For whom?
On to yours!

When we divorced our wife and shared her property, the best thing was why she got it. And even the magnets from the refrigerator with the symbols of the countries she got from the United States, Canada, Australia and European countries, and I Albania, Romania, Niger and Somalia.

Chat WOT
XXX: And what, the British have all the speed so small?
YYY: This is so that the tea does not splash.

Funny is. All famous militant actors are usually associated with their most famous characters. Type of:

Schwarzenegger as Terminator
Stallone – Rambo
Van Damme is a universal soldier.
Willis - strong nuts

and only Chuck Norris for all - Chuck Norris)))

About Toyota Ranger in one forum:

XX: But about the glass of the luggage - it is yes, there is a problem, it needs to be opened. Truth for hunting a cock because of this car is perfect.

Shooting from a seat in a jeep? Or to overtake?
Explain, PS, to the young hunter...

XX: Yes, this car was very loved by my brother in the 90s precisely because of the opening glass of the trunk. You shoot from the machine, all the guilds in the car remain. Now the times are quieter, but hunting on these cars...

There was no sex for three months. Finally I met a girl. Before the meeting, he shaved his scrotum and eggs. Sitting in a cafe and looking into her cut completely differently began to understand the expression "I want, and swings."

The child (ten months) is sitting and listening enthusiastically to his dad playing guitar.
I am a child:
When you grow up, your dad will teach you to play guitar.
The Man (Dark)
I will not.
Why is? O_O
He has no musical hearing.
Why did you decide so? O_O
When he sings, he doesn’t get into the notes.

From Habr:

The original text they hanged was, by the way, completely stupid.

I immediately had a scene in my head with children painting something in the kindergarten. One of them, Timothy Jablokin, is drawing a bird and suddenly sees that the other, named Gog Samson, is also drawing a bird. Then Tim calls the educator Avdotia Kichinovna and complains to Gog: "It was he who made me paint a bird, I was the first to paint a bird!" and to all the other children also says: "I! It was I who painted the bird, and he pulled everything from me!”

The teacher looked at him and said, “Well, you’re drawing a poppy, and Gogh is a pigeon, they’re very different birds. Apologize to Samson.” And in order not to offend Tim, she quietly adds, “And the papagaies are more beautiful, so you’re good.”

Then the little Jablokin stands up and says in a dull voice: "Goga, forgive me, please, you did not exaggerate anything in me," and then loudly adds: "And also to me, Avdotia Kichinovna said that the poppies are more beautiful than your foolish pigeons, here!"

My mother is a teacher. She communicates with a female colleague, I will call her Mrs. M, knowing that she matures like a shoe maker, extremely polite. Once after the counsel to my mother asked about this question:
What was it?
The mother, who was impressed by the event, honestly replied:
To put p**le into all the holes.
Mrs M responded:
It turns out you are a normal person!! to

Now I sit, I think.

Lessons in Geography:
Teacher: So what do you know about China?
Students: Noah... In China, electronics is manufactured... and clothes... There is everything that is manufactured. China is the leader in exporting Chinese to the world market.