Worked in the factory. We produced steel tanks and our main customers were the military. As a result, we received a request to eliminate a leak in the tank at their base. They sent people who removed this flow by the method of cold welding. Further, according to the artist: we are coming, and there are more than 30 tanks and under three of them traces of decently leaked oil products. We examined all three, found a microcrack in only one of them. At first I didn’t understand how the microcrack was one under one of the three tanks, from this crack could only flow out 1-2 drops a month, and out of three as from under the crane. Then it came to me! Apparently, the head of the base noticed a drop, showed a fighting cleverness, poured several wheels of petroleum products under three tanks and informed the management that the tanks are running. Everyone arrested us, called us, we did our job and left, and on this basis he wrote down the previous stuff.

We have medicine that only time can cure.

“We are not twins. Three of us...” (Eralashevsky)
I work in the shooting field. There are three brothers who are similar in face. The documents are brothers. They present pistols of one brand, one letter series, numbers almost in a row - conditionally speaking, 762, 763 and 765. It’s wrong, I think, and I ask:
Where is the fourth brother?
The joke.
They were surprised. I demonstrate the recorded numbers - one, say, is missing.
They rush:
Not a brother, but a sister. He is married and does not shoot.

From a bee’s point of view, she just lives her own life. And only the shepherd knows that she actually collects honey for him. But the bee will never understand this, because the shepherd goes beyond its scope of thinking.

You know, I’m often told that I have a “face of trust.” Per this is because there are a lot of beetles on it, and some of them are in very funny places. One, for example, the brightest and largest under the eye. Because of this, I am often told that my body has been spread, or that I have been worn out, some bold people climb to it with their pins to wipe out this spring.

Or maybe it’s because I’m short-sighted and sometimes I look closely at people with the sweetest facial expression possible, trying to understand whether we’re familiar or not.

In any case, I should go out, and the best interlocutor for sudden revelations or altruistic help you will not find. I think everyone who sees me thinks. Old people are constantly talking to me, children are forever greeting me, they ask me how to find a way (and this is a big mistake), I have been asked several times to hold someone else’s child, a dog, a bag, a wallet, I am asked for hygiene by desperate girls, they talk to me at events to support the conversation and not feel uncomfortable. Completely strange people share secrets and revelations with me, confident that I will not tell anyone (although they may just talk, I keep my secrets with me). And you know, I haven’t fooled anyone yet! Except for those who ask the way. You can easily leave a bag of money with me. But today, guys, a woman asked me to attach her to a hoist. I think that, fucking, I have to decide. What a confidence to let a man fall under your shirt!

And, to be honest, those moments make me good. They usually don’t cost anything, but they thank you, and you feel like at least a little has helped someone.

My point is that I don’t have a car and I tell everyone about it when it’s convenient.

Zzz: This is a male variant of the child frey :)

Tagged: techno

Q: Did you buy your grandmother’s gum? Are there recommendations?

yyy: the main thing is to take the pump right away, or the mouth will get tired.

Xxx: type dulled, smoked, turned away to sleep?

yyy: ah, and she lies all that swollen, whispering disappointed

At the time of studenthood, I had to rent an apartment in a panel house with "carton" inter-apartment walls. My bed stood next to the wall shared with the neighbors, and on their side of the wall a man slept. So I used to fall asleep under his measurable stifled snoring, that when suddenly he was not "near" a long sleep did not come. At first, I could not even understand the cause of my insomnia. Fortunately, he was not frequently absent.

I slept with him for a whole year, with my mouthpiece))).

xxx: I spent last week under a friendly customer "We paid you a lot of money!“”

Then it turned out that some did not pay at all, others paid, but not us, and the third paid, but not a lot.

Yyy: and the fourth left a lot, but not much money.

I put the car near the hypermarket, I haven’t had time to turn off the lighting yet, as a woman parks (almost flying) in front of me on a Mersedes-Benz GT, squeezing onto my parking spot. He sharply opens the door, hits the neighboring KIA car, not even noticing that I was looking at it, closes the car and leaves.

I get a pen and paper to write my contacts under the KIA glass and describe who hit them. And at this moment, a company of 4 women approaches Kia, just as frighteningly opening the doors and touching the mercy.

They were not as upset that I watched it and they left. Thanks, I didn’t write paper.

It was told by a friend of my father who worked as a driver of a crane. The case was many years ago. Their office bought a cheap car crane somewhere in the south of our country and he was assigned the task of moving the equipment to Murmansk. The road passed through Moscow. Further from his words.

And here I go on the MKAD in the right row, on one of the rows is a DPS car and I am indicated with a stick that I must turn into the city. Well, of course, I was surprised and confused, but nothing to do, turned. I don’t know the cities, there were no navigators at the time. But at the next intersection there was another DPS car and I was again indicated where to go. Probably something happened on the ring and trucks are driving around. I had no other options. And so, in all the developments, they showed me the way. When I was once again told where to go, I was very surprised to see the Kremlin. I went to the Manage Square, where the repair was going on and gently say, broke up. And the haishnik pulled me with a stick so that I could enter the square. I stopped and approached him.

Remove the car from the road! Let’s go in!

Did you bring me here?

What does it mean to eat? Here is repair...

So I drove the crane to Murmansk, I was pulled off the ring and brought here. I need to go to Murmansk.

Their mother! Go away from here!

How I will leave. I do not know the city. I will be walking here until morning in Moscow.

Haishnik sat in the car and lively discussed something with someone on the rack.

I’ll go and take the ring.

In the end, I was taken to the ring accompanied by the DPS as a VIP person. This is how I visited the Kremlin on the crane and safely arrived in Murmansk.

We are a web studio, well, and then briefly about the sick. (I will immediately tell the most adequate customers, but they are not interesting to read about.)



Q: Good morning, we are a large legal company, we also deal with accounting. We want to make a website with these functions.

I: Okay, if about such a site will cost X money

Q: We will arrive at 17:00



With a quiet soul, I go to lunch at six o’clock, bring a spoon to my mouth, and there’s a call from the office. “Customers come back to you” Ok, I go back, the main thing is to make a deal. I am met by a man and with him a companion with a pre-prepared unhappy look.



Q: Well what did you say the site will cost X money? (A different example is much more expensive)

I: This site will cost XX money it is more difficult.

K is MDA. You disappointed. Do you have a fee for each?

Do you have all the legal services at the same price?

Q: We may be pleased, but we need to go out and discuss. We go down to the first floor to have a coffee and make a decision.

I: Okay, I’ll wait for you, please – call even if the decision is “no” so I don’t wait for you.

Q: Of course, we are business people. (speaks the client’s companion with an insulted view)



It takes 40 minutes to call the client.

I: Tell me, are you still down?

K: No, we have already gone.

Why didn’t you call me, I’m waiting for you?

Those are the business people :)

Aist lost a child over the cabbage field, twice offensive, little that he lost, as well as the competitors.

He heard on the radio "bayon" in Kovalchuk's performance about Wikipedia, the Internet and electricity.
I remember a story that happened 20 years ago with one of my acquaintances.

He studied at the Meh-Mate of the Moscow State University and worked as an admin on radio-msu.net. He was inherited with a bunch of unmarked "bands" in them. I had to do an inventory. Tracking where the "strings" were laid was not possible. Therefore, he acted simply: disconnecting them one by one and waiting for who (from which department, from which room) will call and report problems with the network. Having received a "telephonogram" - glued a marking on the cable and turned it back into the port on a swipe. He says many people have called again and thanked for the quick solution to the problem.

If I were to be returned to the morning of the third grade, then the song “Be Beautiful is far from being cruel to me” I would speak louder than ever, and not just silently open my mouth.

He inscribed his 40-year-old friend for the first time to take part in the 10km race. Such an event where you run 10km and you are given a medal for not dying moving from point A to point B, regardless of how long you ran.

A long-time friend, although he is engaged in the sport as a fanatic. After the race, he was unimaginably excited, began to call everyone, telling about his unusual adventure:

- Hi, things are okay, the men entered the race on the tenth (*a rather pathetic intonation)

(I have not heard the question from the other interlocutor, but I can guess it.)

I ran, it was cool!

–...

Yes, some have been overtaken!

–...

No, not for the car.)

Take your companions on the way to work today. In the front seat is a 60 year old woman, a family friend. A young couple, aged 20 years.

And in the conversation, the wife of her deceased husband called the master. And after another time, the young girl decided to make a comment, such as low to call her husband the master, such as underestimating her importance and role. In the 21st century, everyone is equal and bla bla. She calls her chosen partner.

The woman smiled and said, "My husband built a business zero, bought his son a house in Spain, his daughter in the capital. All passive income from the rental. I got a good retirement. He is responsible for everyone and helps even after death. He is the owner of the family. And while you’re just tr... call yourself partners.”

The couple kept silent all the way and thought about something of their own.

In ancient times, when I was small, every summer my grandmother took me to the country for the whole summer, and my grandmother's cat always went out with us for the company. He was there well and volatile, mice, birds and cats. After all, when my friends and I were playing the daughters of our mothers, sometimes a cat was stuck in diapers and put in a toy wheelchair. The cat was patient, did not use nails, but at the first opportunity tried to wash himself. And here one day one of my friends, tired of catching my grandmother's cat and she offered to use her cat as a child, well, and assured us that he is calm and she will not run away. We went to her to the site and she pulled out of the house a crushed carpet, the cat just slipped out of her hands, like the paste and struck to slip out of her hands, but in general from overweight to escape did not try and lay in a wheelchair and without a fixing diaper, just covered with a blanket. And here we happy with the new "toys" went for a walk around the country village, telling all the neighbors that we have a baby there, all of course was pleased and accompanied us with a smile. And then we got bored and we decided to play the classics and put a wheelchair with a cat nearby fascinated by another game. And here we jump, what we are discussing, how suddenly the wind blowed the wheelchair, and it was on the hillside and the wheelchair with the cat very quickly gained speed and went down, I don't know, that already then experienced that cat only the wheelchair with the cosmic speed was already somewhere far, and we were carried as stunned trying to catch it, but fortunately the wheelchair stepped down to the bottom of the mountain without turning over gradually stopped. We ran to her, looked at her, and there was a cat sitting with the eyes with a five ruble coin, he saw us, grievously blinked, looked at us and jumped out of the wheelchair and despite the large weight showered sharply, and as a gift to us he left in the wheelchair a good bunch that smelled disgustingly and we long argued how to remove "this" from there. Since then, we have not played with her cat, as it ceased to be given to her, and after those "American hills" three days did not appear at home.

A neighbor in the hostel after graduating from university began to live with his girlfriend. I come home to them, we sit down, we talk. They have a cat at home, and here he jumps onto the bed. A friend’s girlfriend brushes the cat back on the floor. The cat turned around and went back to bed. This time, the girl caaaak will load on him! The cat flew away. I say to her, “Why are you so, he’s still small?” He said, “You do not understand. Cats need to be taught while they are young, because with adult cats then there is no sense. This is called “discipline.” The sooner, the better.”

I look at a friend, and he sits quietly in the corner of his bed and is silent. Much more disciplined than before.

I bought a motorcycle via the internet. He came to pick up, and then the owner suddenly goes back, saying he does not want to sell. “I’ve been driving it for three years, I have feelings for it!”

“Your feelings, and what?”

“I want to find him a good master, and you’re too fat. He will hurt.”

Oh yeah now!