What is the matter? Do I have a helicopter hanging over the window?
Do you have all the licenses?

Electricity today:
Prepod (P), One group (O)

Q: Name the number.
A is minus four.
I: -4 is not a number - it is a number! and ;)

I don’t believe in horoscopes at all. These signs of the zodiac are all shit.
It’s because you’re a lion.

I don’t trust fish at all.
Yyy: Especially when she advises you to stop eating mushrooms?
After that, I don’t trust either fungi or fish.

A discussion with the blonde of Carl Jenkins' musical work "Palladio" in a somewhat aggressive processing.

Fuck, the pipet is beautiful.
Darina: such a bright cross is made
Darina: thanks to bright high and sound bass
Andrey: don't need clever words, the color of hair is not the same
by Darina ?
Darina: Well, where they dumb and the cabbage begins – it’s very dumb!
Andrey: Another case

I have already tried working on MS Visual FoxPro, VB, C++ ))) Guess what I want to try now?
Oh God, let her write - "Group sex"!

XXX:I am sitting with the Yandex bar, everything is fast and comfortable.
XXX:I am sitting with the Yandex bar, everything is fast and comfortable.
XXX is lying.
XXX is lying.

I was not surprised when I learned how Chinese will be "bad" - "bu chao" :)

Tatiana: And here I come, and you are naked and in the fork.
Fuck, that is how it stands.
Tatiana is yes! With the candles!
Tatiana: I would like this.
Tatiana: Fuck and candles!

Iksss: Brother decided to play Sisadmin and went to a friend's mother to repair the computer. Eventually I brought him to see. I looked, switched the power unit from the back to the VCL. In the evening, it will be repaired.

<xxx> should not be forgotten, years so by 30, married to get married DDD
<yyy> a reminder in the phone set.)

Daddy comes to me and asks, “Daughter, can you translate the phrase into English?”
I: "Well, e, I will try."
Father: "Nachalyava’s asshole shuffled and crackled".
It turns and, disgustingly chicky, leaves. What was that, forgive me?

from comments

Ohhhhh... very much! When will all wars on the planet end?! to
WOW:...and will move into space.

Mind is the ability to benefit from information.

The fucking elevator.

Records from the diary of the German soldier, who fought at Stalingrad, was captured, and in 1953 he returned home healthy:
1 October 1942. Our assault battalion went to the Volga. More precisely, 500 meters to the Volga. Tomorrow we will be on that shore and the war is over.”
“On 3 October. Very strong fire resistance, we can not overcome those 500 meters. We are at the border of some bread elevator.”
“On 6 October. The fucking elevator. Impossible to approach him. Our losses exceeded 30 percent.”
“On 10 October. Where do these Russians come from? The elevator is no longer there, but every time we approach it, there is a fire from underground.”
“15 of October. We overcame the elevator. There are 100 members of our battalion.”
and then :
“It turned out that the elevator was defended by 18 Russians, we found 18 bodies.”
Do you imagine? 18 of bodies. They were attacked by a battalion.

I saw the girl's status, like "Stop pumping the biceps, normal guys have been pumping oil for a long time."
I answered:
- Stop pumping your lips and chest, normal girls have long been pumping a baby bed and singing a whirlwind!

I hug him, tired after work:
I can say a million times I love you.
Go eat faster and go to bed.

The real p**child is when your cat/cat has more sex than you have.

Today at work there was an epic file - I went to the bugs to repair the falling computer again, and the place of their habitat we call the chicken and here I call, I answer without a back-thinking saying I will soon be in the chicken, and here I notice a small accountant who has changed in the face, and I say the first thing that comes to the head: "Well, in the sense of lawyers." And the eye of the abuch, the kind of calmed down and even the resentment appeared in the sight, well, I think it passed, and then I looked around, and there full of anger and hatred the eyes of the principal...

@semerbau
Why is your head so dirty?
I: Noah, there was no water at first, and then there was no sense.