bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70246
 19.09.2012
XXX: Knee scratched, completely eaten
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY O_O
XXX: I’m going to visit. in his toilet some old book on electronics lies, and instead of putting a tablet

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70245
 19.09.2012
...
XXX is a point!
yyy: Occupational disease of the Aitishnik?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70244
 19.09.2012
Commentary on the news of Bands "Orenburgez died while trying to spray a jet engine":
XX: I don’t think he did that for a good life.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Without the brain is life.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70243
 19.09.2012
SMS from a friend who just bought a touch phone:
A great TNT! I am almost drowning!”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №70242
 19.09.2012
The Medical Humor.
I worked as a security guard at the hospital. I come to work, meet a familiar (x) surgeon.
Q: Have you heard the news?
I : No
X: Narik from the sixth floor down his head
I: Who has found it?
X: I have found it. We held a meeting on the first floor. And suddenly the blow and the glasses are covered with red spots, which is somehow unusual at this time of year...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70241
 19.09.2012
XXX: I’m having 2 problems now)))
YYY: worms and foreign?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №70240
 19.09.2012
Yesterday I went to a restaurant with Natasha. I ordered Caesar. They brought a small drink. And next to a healthy man and a boy - they have this Caesar twice as much in the plate. I ask the waitress.
Why is my portion so small?
We have a standard of so many grams.
xxx: But, I say, those two have three times the portion.The waitress is a little quieter:
The man is the master. He goes into the kitchen and makes as much as he wants. The man next to him is his son. He really does not like to go here with his father, because he makes him eat everything he imposes, otherwise money for pocket expenses will not be seen.
XXX: And adds even more quietly:
xxx: If you want to have such portions, ask him to adopt.
XXX and goes away.
XXX: O_O

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70239
 19.09.2012
XXX is fucking! Judging by the lion’s share of your jokes, you’re a racist, a homofob and a sexist!
I would call it differently :)
XXX: How would you call it?
and emm...
Selective misanthrope!

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70238
 19.09.2012
The oldest generation is the oldest generation.)

The chief engineer (GI), an uncle of 55, approaches me right away and says:
GI: Here’s the camera, I need to take a picture from it onto the computer!
Okay, is there a cable?
Q: What kind of cable?
I: Well data cable to connect the camera to the comp
G: No, no
I: I do not have either. There is no card reader. Unable to drop then.
Mmmmm... the pixels!
I : what?? to
GY: P-I-K-S-E-L-I You can get through them!
I am : O_o? No, I cannot...
Q: Yeah yeah? Well, these are like them there... Ah! The Bytes! Kilobytes and megabytes. Through them it is possible!!! to
I: O_o O_o O_o... eeee... no, I can’t...
GI: Why?? to
I: * a long, clear explanation of the concepts of pixels, bytes, kilobytes and more*
GI: No, you just have to put the camera to the monitor and the photo will drop.
I: So get it...

.............

G: It doesn’t work, why?? to
I: You have apparently the monitor not working properly, call the service center.
GI: Certainly!! to

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70237
 18.09.2012
by C HABRA:

Calm, only peace of mind. Understand, such a radical homophobia can simply be a sign of latent homosexuality.

WOW: Then it follows from the principle of symmetry that the fierce defenders of gay rights are latent homophobes. and :-)

Zzz: and those who are against drunkenness are latent alcoholics, those who are against humility are latent brutals, those who are against ignorance are latent impasse, those who are against crime are a latent killer...

Vvv: And who has arachnophobia is that latent spider!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70236
 18.09.2012
Discussion of Yanukovych's arrival in Odessa:
Niogat: Until this morning I didn’t know we had so many mints in the city. Every 20 meters for 2-3 people. Why were they taught so much? What is their function? The question is rhetorical, the country of clinical idiots.
Tag: rubbish pipeline

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №70235
 18.09.2012
In Vladivostok, after the rain, collided a motor boat and a SUV

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70234
 18.09.2012
How did you get to argue with Sania??? He’s so kind and honest that when he plays Assassin’s Creed, he throws people money if he shattered their legs, or broke their nose! and :)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70233
 18.09.2012
From Habr:
XXX is Oh! Chinese in automatic translation sounds loud! One of the cameras manufacturers wrote to us in Russian. When we answered, we received a letter with the following signature:
“It’s raining outside right now, but your email is like sunlight from the window. thank you.”

Yyy: They should have written in response in Russian too: “Just thank you for such a wonderful letter in our box! It’s like a world fire around, and your letter is like an ironic rain with cheerful eggs!”

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70232
 18.09.2012
What kind of girl am I?
I wore a coat of decoult today, and when I went down the stairs, I looked at my own chest and almost fell down the stairs! >_<

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70231
 18.09.2012
Review of Half Life 2: Black Mesa
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Reincarnation of the game! Even the bugs passed one-on-one, as I stuck in the elevator a year ago - so I stuck in that same place!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70230
 18.09.2012
The husband goes to work, the wife stands...

M. You look at me like I’m not going to work, I’m going to fuck.
Looking at your hole socks, I’m sure it’s for work.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70229
 18.09.2012
I know how to dig holes that are so flat.
and deep
Luckily someone with you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70228
 18.09.2012
From Habr. Reasoning the negligence of engineers who allowed the bacteria to enter the installation.
X: Imagine this situation: in a few decades, researchers arrive with another expedition to Mars and instead of finding extraterrestrial life there, they find well-known earthly microorganisms that have adapted to the new environment.
YYY: This is how some halterists brought life to the earth...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70227
 18.09.2012
Where do you think people live longer in cities or rural areas?
YYY: In Japan

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