XXX: Knee scratched, completely eaten
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY O_O
XXX: I’m going to visit. in his toilet some old book on electronics lies, and instead of putting a tablet

...
XXX is a point!
yyy: Occupational disease of the Aitishnik?

Commentary on the news of Bands "Orenburgez died while trying to spray a jet engine":
XX: I don’t think he did that for a good life.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Without the brain is life.

SMS from a friend who just bought a touch phone:
A great TNT! I am almost drowning!”

The Medical Humor.
I worked as a security guard at the hospital. I come to work, meet a familiar (x) surgeon.
Q: Have you heard the news?
I : No
X: Narik from the sixth floor down his head
I: Who has found it?
X: I have found it. We held a meeting on the first floor. And suddenly the blow and the glasses are covered with red spots, which is somehow unusual at this time of year...

XXX: I’m having 2 problems now)))
YYY: worms and foreign?

Yesterday I went to a restaurant with Natasha. I ordered Caesar. They brought a small drink. And next to a healthy man and a boy - they have this Caesar twice as much in the plate. I ask the waitress.
Why is my portion so small?
We have a standard of so many grams.
xxx: But, I say, those two have three times the portion.The waitress is a little quieter:
The man is the master. He goes into the kitchen and makes as much as he wants. The man next to him is his son. He really does not like to go here with his father, because he makes him eat everything he imposes, otherwise money for pocket expenses will not be seen.
XXX: And adds even more quietly:
xxx: If you want to have such portions, ask him to adopt.
XXX and goes away.
XXX: O_O

XXX is fucking! Judging by the lion’s share of your jokes, you’re a racist, a homofob and a sexist!
I would call it differently :)
XXX: How would you call it?
and emm...
Selective misanthrope!

The oldest generation is the oldest generation.)

The chief engineer (GI), an uncle of 55, approaches me right away and says:
GI: Here’s the camera, I need to take a picture from it onto the computer!
Okay, is there a cable?
Q: What kind of cable?
I: Well data cable to connect the camera to the comp
G: No, no
I: I do not have either. There is no card reader. Unable to drop then.
Mmmmm... the pixels!
I : what?? to
GY: P-I-K-S-E-L-I You can get through them!
I am : O_o? No, I cannot...
Q: Yeah yeah? Well, these are like them there... Ah! The Bytes! Kilobytes and megabytes. Through them it is possible!!! to
I: O_o O_o O_o... eeee... no, I can’t...
GI: Why?? to
I: * a long, clear explanation of the concepts of pixels, bytes, kilobytes and more*
GI: No, you just have to put the camera to the monitor and the photo will drop.
I: So get it...

.............

G: It doesn’t work, why?? to
I: You have apparently the monitor not working properly, call the service center.
GI: Certainly!! to

by C HABRA:

Calm, only peace of mind. Understand, such a radical homophobia can simply be a sign of latent homosexuality.

WOW: Then it follows from the principle of symmetry that the fierce defenders of gay rights are latent homophobes. and :-)

Zzz: and those who are against drunkenness are latent alcoholics, those who are against humility are latent brutals, those who are against ignorance are latent impasse, those who are against crime are a latent killer...

Vvv: And who has arachnophobia is that latent spider!

Discussion of Yanukovych's arrival in Odessa:
Niogat: Until this morning I didn’t know we had so many mints in the city. Every 20 meters for 2-3 people. Why were they taught so much? What is their function? The question is rhetorical, the country of clinical idiots.
Tag: rubbish pipeline

In Vladivostok, after the rain, collided a motor boat and a SUV

How did you get to argue with Sania??? He’s so kind and honest that when he plays Assassin’s Creed, he throws people money if he shattered their legs, or broke their nose! and :)

From Habr:
XXX is Oh! Chinese in automatic translation sounds loud! One of the cameras manufacturers wrote to us in Russian. When we answered, we received a letter with the following signature:
“It’s raining outside right now, but your email is like sunlight from the window. thank you.”

Yyy: They should have written in response in Russian too: “Just thank you for such a wonderful letter in our box! It’s like a world fire around, and your letter is like an ironic rain with cheerful eggs!”

What kind of girl am I?
I wore a coat of decoult today, and when I went down the stairs, I looked at my own chest and almost fell down the stairs! >_<

Review of Half Life 2: Black Mesa
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Reincarnation of the game! Even the bugs passed one-on-one, as I stuck in the elevator a year ago - so I stuck in that same place!

The husband goes to work, the wife stands...

M. You look at me like I’m not going to work, I’m going to fuck.
Looking at your hole socks, I’m sure it’s for work.

I know how to dig holes that are so flat.
and deep
Luckily someone with you.

From Habr. Reasoning the negligence of engineers who allowed the bacteria to enter the installation.
X: Imagine this situation: in a few decades, researchers arrive with another expedition to Mars and instead of finding extraterrestrial life there, they find well-known earthly microorganisms that have adapted to the new environment.
YYY: This is how some halterists brought life to the earth...

Where do you think people live longer in cities or rural areas?
YYY: In Japan