Once I heard one psychologist ask, say, if he believes in ideal relationships, and that there are people in the world who meet to form a perfect union?

He responded approximately this way:

“I believe that somewhere in this world there is a screw that is meant for me. As soon as I find her, I’ll take her into my hands – a charming music will fly and all my friends and acquaintances will watch and envy with admiration how virtuoso I am and how well we are with Her. But so far nothing like that happens. I browse the violins one by one, not even thinking about spending time learning. No is. I do not need it! Studying gamma, solfego, hand-set and everything else is not for me these grounded affairs. I just need to meet the most violin, so that the music will be born immediately! ...”

The audience did not immediately realize that he was following them. It was seen how the faces are first illuminated by joy, and then it comes to them that the tag #sarcasm is appropriate and relationships need to be worked on... and somehow the faces stop glowing.

Recently, I had to get some information about fire safety. I found the website of a company that provides services, left an application for a callback, but the name was not his own, introduced by Muhammad (I am called Anton, I don't know why)) I was called back, told everything I needed. A few hours later, an unknown number calls me, calls me Muhammad and shakes something about bitcoins, asking where he got my number, he shakes that I allegedly left my data somewhere a year ago and here they call everyone. Yes of course! Called back to that office, made his claims, stunned them, frightened them, apologized for a long time))) This was even the lifehack.)

Damn, I’m in the parking lot.)

If no one has seen go away.

In the first it is not beautiful, in the second it will not help.

Why not help?

The second is also mine.

I was once in the centre of our glorious city. As it was in the evening in the day, the traffic was just wild. And here, first I heard the cries, and then in the rear-view mirror saw a flashy beacon. The DPS car rushed through the block. Of course, everyone tried to miss it, but it was difficult to do so. I turned on the turntable and started to take the right, and the driver was in the meantime already one car before me.



In the back was a young girl in a little white Peugeot. I don’t think girls drive worse than men. For example, my wife was a great driver, but she was clearly an inexperienced girl driver. She tried to rebuild to the right and stunned. Meanwhile, a number of the right touched and there was no room for it. She tried again. The car shattered, stopped sharply and stung again. The girl grabbed her head, switched on the emergency, drove the car, turned off the emergency, turned on the left turntable, grabbed - turned on the right turntable. And then from the speaker of the DPS car sounded:



The driver of the black Ford stops in the middle row. The girl in the white Peugeot calms down. It smoothly releases the grip and at the same time smoothly presses the gas. Carefully rebuilt and free the road to the DPS car.



Everyone around smiled. I let the girl in, and I too.

I heard this story yesterday from the head of a large social institution.

There has been a competition for professional skills for disabled people. A major official from Moscow summed up the results of the contest for cities and mocked those who did not participate in the preliminary stages.

A representative of one of the cities took the floor. He long and detailed how the preparation for the contest was carried out, what resources were used, how the participants were selected, etc. Everything is beautiful and detailed.

Finally, the President asked him:

Did you have a competition in your city? ? to

The representative was a little upset and replied:

No, no, the money was not enough!

He worked as a sales consultant in a shoe salon. A family couple with a child aged 4-5 years. A wife with a son in a female department, a husband in a male department. I advise a man on shoes, then a small man runs to him and screams at the whole store:

Dad, and Mom loves you!

The father cried out and asked:

I know. Let it take.

A wonderful family.

12 people work in our company. work in the office. Dress code as such is absent, but once a month we hold a meeting with the whole team + with us two companies of our partners and, of course, on this day everyone needs to look presented: a suit, a tie, shoes. Often I heard how colleagues expressed dissatisfaction, said the nafig these dresses, still everyone does not care who how dressed etc. In general, it seemed difficult for people to wear a classic costume once a month.



We have a cleaner, washing the floors and taking the garbage every morning, an hour a day. He himself came from Tajikistan, before he was a jeweller, but a few years ago the doctor advised him to give his eyes a rest, so that it would not get worse, so he came here. But it is not about that.



One day on the meeting, he called a colleague in charge of cleaning and asked if there was anything wrong if he came in his shoes. Of course, he was told that he could come in anything. And as it turned out, he was all the time looking at the information board the date of the meeting and wearing a white shirt, pants and shoes. We noticed it, but did not attach much importance. And he believes that this creates the right impression of the company. In general, after this incident, absolutely no one has ever been upset about the appearance on the day of the meeting. And that day he just broke his heels on his shoes.



This is awareness, this is responsibility.

Servants of the people, who as a child dreamed of becoming astronauts, today live on another planet.

I wonder, and does the leopard know what he looks like?
The leopard has gone, the cows have gone, the leopard has gone, the leopard has gone.

Recently I learned that natural pearls are dissolved in vinegar, and fake pearls cannot be dissolved. In this regard, the question arises: to rejoice the person who learned after the check that the pearl was natural or to be upset?

I sit in the plane and wait for departure. A very beautiful girl sits next to her, speaks on the phone with her boyfriend, repeating every word: “love.” She was very excited and nervous (apparently afraid to fly on planes) the guy, on the other end of the wire, calmed her in every way. Talking about a trip to Prague, she told him that she had already found 2-3 good hotels and that he would drop references to them, let him choose. And about the fact that on arrival he will immediately call him on a call, as soon as Dasha meets her and they will find Wifi. They said goodbye on the phone, how much they will miss each other and how much they love each other.

Everyone was asked to turn off the gadgets and prepare for the take-off.

I fell asleep and woke up when they arrived. When I went through the passport check, I noticed her again. It was impossible not to notice: a beautiful face, long black hair, a coat with bright colors and a beautiful cut on the back, a sports figure. After the passport check, they picked up their suitcases and went to the exit, it was right in front of me. And here, at the exit, she meets Dasha. “Dasha” is a Turkish male name. Man, 40 years old. Such warm hugs and passionate kisses I have not met for a long time... They took a hug at sunset, and I, slightly squeezing from this picture, headed to the airport parking lot and it became ugly on my soul.

After reading a couple of stories from respected vegetarians, I wanted to help them understand why people don’t understand them and treat them unfairly.

I have a friend — a beautiful smart girl, fun and kind.

So she decided to become a respected vegetarian.

And it became.

I became a vegetarian, but not a vegetarian.



Before I was a man, but I became a meat-eater (strange - because she wasn't a herbivore, a fruit-eater, a plant-eater).

I used to have breakfast, lunch and dinner, and now I kill, break, torture.

I used to love animals, but now I hate them.

Previously, we could talk about how spacecraft roam the vastness of the universe, and now everything is reduced to the fact that children have to show pictures of the slaughterhouse from childhood, so that they do not grow up to be brutal murderers.

Previously, taking food, I gained strength, and now digest the body.



In the rest, we communicate as before, only the sediment remains.

The most important thing I almost forgot — I have not even in mind to be interested in how she eats, and discuss it.

Today it’s hard to believe, but in my childhood there were almost no cars on the streets.

In the winter, when we were playing hockey, the gates were installed from a pair of bricks right on the road. And, it happened, we had time to play a few periods before a lonely truck forced us to leave. He passed, we returned to the road and continued the interrupted match.

Some passers tried to convince us that the road was not a place to play, but the smart advice of adults flew past our ears. We had our own reasons: if we do not disturb anyone and nobody disturbs us, then why not? The road is smooth and the ice is good. At that time, the roads were not covered. I will not say for all the roads of the country, my knowledge concerns only one road that ran next to my home.

Then, somewhat unnoticed, civilization entered our small town, the number of cars increased. In the winter, the hockey players did not go out on the road, but cleaned the site in the center of the yard and poured water.

Then the cars became even more, they had little space on the road, they began to drive directly through our courtyard. There were always many children in the yard, so their parents were not without reason concerned about their life and health.

One day, losing patience, the men dug a thick railway in the middle of the road running along the entrances. Entrance and exit remained, but the road ceased to be crossed. Having done the business, the men with a proud look walked around the courtyard, demonstrating who is the master here. Then came a police officer with a police officer. The rail is spinning. For a while, the police sought to find out who had digged him. The men crafted.

When the roadmen and the police officer left, they appeared again in the courtyard, screaming loudly about the self-government of the authorities, promising to dig the rail again, but did not dig in. Probably the rails are over. After some time, the iron back of the bed appeared above the remnants of the spinning rail, the legs of which were firmly cemented.

The passengers came and cleaned their backs. The culprits were searched carefully, found and fined. After that, people began to act more cleverly. As if by chance, there was a concrete block or a massive urn, a pebble, a bunch of sand or an excavated pit in this place of the road.

Then came new times. My family and I moved elsewhere, the revolutionaries bought cars and stopped building barriers on the road. The war ended with the victory of motorists.

I recently walked past, saw in this place a fine metal barrier installed by the road service. It was apparent that he was placed above the splinter. It turns out that the war is not just continuing, the opposing parties have changed targets. Now road drivers are guarding the road, and locals are fighting for free passage.

I went to Peter with my friends.

Walked around the city, walked along the way to the bar, a casual, little cute half-sweet.

There were four of us and one of our three friends was already there.

At one point, I feel like the bartender is communicating with some people and they periodically look at us.

We wait for the disconnection, the tension grows slowly and here they approach and say about the following, the exact text I do not remember: "We have an unusual request to you, please listen to the end. We are shooting small porn videos on orders in the internet and now we need to have sex in the bar, but without visitors it will look unnatural and we will not be paid. We’ll give you beer for inconvenience.”

We agree, we are transplanted, asked not to pay attention and just drink beer and communicate.

Next, the guy wears a Mickey Mouse costume, the girl has a huge spider tail and they fuck on the table.

They paid 150 views for this video.

The order sounded approximately like, “Micky Mouse is fucking the pavilion in front of the whole bar.”

They ordered such shit relatively often.

A cautious man is one who first finds the way out and then the entrance.

It seems to me that Roskomnadzor is in a share with Durov?
When it all started, I knew about Telegram. But I decided to register... Well, so in the peak, you know who. It turned out that of my 127 telephone subscribers, 5 (five) were registered in Telegram.
A week later I received messages from 73 subscribers who signed up for Telegram.

Make a conclusion, gentlemen.

All my money is in the Swiss bank... but unfortunately not on my account, but on the account of our governor.

I went somehow to the Japanese knife store and straight to the vitrine with crafts, wanted such a very, consulted with the sold and asked to give a turn in the hands. Sold, stretching my knife in the knives, said that touching the cutting edge with fingers is not necessary. I immediately touched. “How you beat me!” - said sold, stretching a sterile towel and wiping out the blood from a beautiful glass shelf.

Mom was in a bad mood, and she drank her dad all night on the occasion and without. When she cooked the salad eggs and put them in cold water, Dad replaced them with raw eggs and locked themselves in his room to the castle. Dad says the screams were heard from a few floors down. Both are retired and have not stopped having fun.

The dog is the most reliable friend of man. It can be trusted any secret - it will not be revealed.