My teacher of labor in 5-6 classes in the 22nd school of Orla, Grigory Ivanovich Vnukov, was a good-soul man. When introduced a new subject - the initial military training, G.I. He wore the shirt with the black loop of the artillery and the chases of the senior lieutenant and began to teach us the basics of martial arts. Then we learned that he was a war veteran.

At a solemn line-up on May 8, 1975, the director of the school gave him the word, presenting him as the warrior-liberator who liberated Königsberg.

Grigory Ivanovich came out, took the medal and showed it to the students who stood next to him: "Read, not for liberation, but for the capture of Königsberg!"

Three surgeons smoke on the door of the government hospital.
The ordinary surgeon says:
- I cut the deputy appendicitis from the morning - while through a layer of fat, two scalpeled!
The Cardio Surgeon:
It is nonsense. I made the plastic valve to the deputy - I opened the chest, I reached the heart, and it is stone! While the Bulgarian cut - two diamond discs melted.
The neurosurgeon:
Men, this is all nonsense. Have you ever tried to transplant a deputy’s brain into a chicken’s skull, and fix it so that it doesn’t talk?

I just came home. I recently met a young man on VKontakte. We talked for a week and asked for a walk.

We met and asked to go to a cafe. I asked, “Can we go first?” “”

The answer: “No, no, go to the cafe, there’s better.”

We sat down at the table. I ordered coffee and salad, and a companion meat, cognac, soup and dessert. We sit and communicate. They sat for half an hour, and then he made me a proposal: "And they went to me, we are adults! “”

I respond with refusal. Again he insists. I refuse again. In an offended voice, he says, “I called you to the cafe and I’m paying for you just so? “”

I answer that I am able to pay for myself and that I will not go anywhere. She says, "Well, pay for everything yourself, since such a smart one has been found," rushes and moves to the exit.

I scream: “Hold the man in the blue, he didn’t pay! “” The guard doesn’t let him go, the waitress approaches him and I. I explain the situation. My new acquaintance says, "I don't know anything, I didn't eat anything, I sat with her at the table, she ate everything, let her pay."

The waitress says, “Let’s take a look at the camera recording.” My new acquaintance pronounces an obscene word, whispers the waitress a thousand and leaves. I wait for my bill, I cry, I leave.

At home, I see a message from him: "Can you come anyway, what as a little girl?"

My acquaintance told me. She has been in divorce for a relatively long time, and has been dating a single cavalier for a couple of years. And here he made her an offer, and putting this case with fiction: on the birthday of her mother, i.e. in the presence of her parents, daughters and sisters gave a sign to the waiters, they brought a cake with a beautiful inscription with a glazure with the text of the proposal to marry him, and at the same time solemnly asked the parents the hand of their daughter.

People are already grown up, so Dasha did not immediately answer, took a break. The cake was partially eaten, and the main part with the untouched inscription was taken home and placed in the refrigerator.



Obviously, Dasha is all in thought, thoughts revolve around the proposition, there are many nuances and there is no decision to make. There is only a daughter, but the 17-year-old, for the role of the pencil in this matter is clearly not suitable.



The next evening they sit in the kitchen, are going to drink tea, Dasha is all in mind. Then the daughter asks:



You need it, is it an offer?



Here Dasha opens the gates, and she begins to share her thoughts on the subject. Her daughter interrupts her half-word:



The inscription on the cake! Can I eat it?

I visited one man today. The institution. Everything is serious: metal detector, thick glasses, video surveillance monitors. While one guard recorded the passport data, the other checked me with a handheld metal detector, simultaneously whispering the standard phrase: “Any prohibited, coil-cutting weapon is with you? “”

The correct answer was no, but some mood was a joke. The telegram, I say, is on the phone. And I smile.

A guard with a serious face.

and out.

I remember enrolled in the institute, I come for the first time at the gymnasium, and the first phrase I smiled from the teacher: "So, the norms - three bottles of cognac, you can run down with the whole group." Then he said it was a joke, but everyone immediately understood it. Fishermen are like that.

I had a client. Divorced from her husband, property has nothing to share, the only problem is that she took a consumer loan, with the funds of which a car was acquired. As long as they lived together - the loan continued to pay, and, remaining alone - does not pull.



I explained to her that in court, of course, you can file, but the husband is not a borrower, not a guarantor. He will say - I have not seen any credit in my eyes, I know nothing, and all, this is the end of the whole trial. We agreed that I will make a complaint, and already there, based on the answer, we will make a decision.



I send a complaint. The ex-husband personally answered. Such a winning look. And shouting - I'm not a fool there, I went to a big law firm, I was written a reply, fucking what the ex-wife will get!



I read. I did not understand. I read over. Again I did not understand. So and so, my wife took a loan for common purposes, etc. I fall into a light stupor. The answer was clearly not written by the man himself - he would not have written there literally. So what fucking thing is this law firm putting its client on the grandmother, acknowledging the fact of the loan?



And here it comes to me. If the answer meant - I don't know anything, I didn't see any loan, where my wife spent the money - I don't have the slightest idea, there would be no court, nothing. And so - the lawyers, where the man turned, created a client, ensuring a representation in the court. I put it on the grandmother.

In the course of training on the site, he was constantly confronted with the fact that some emergency pedestrians constantly cut the road through the car park, where driving students were trained. Given that everything was initially stressful, the suddenly drawing body caused a marked negative. Eventually, he could not stand and asked the auto instructor - which hero would they not put a fence? ! to

The answer killed - they are useful... the same idiots run across the roads and throw on the red under the wheels... it is better to get used to them from the site)

I was on a plane to Istanbul. The place was near the passage, on the left (at the window and in the middle) from me was a guy with a girl.

Bored, nothing to do, I decided to watch the movie on the screen built into the chair. I press my fingers, twist the list, select, here the guy on the left takes and turns off my screen.

I was so upset, sarcastically telling him, “Thank you,” he indulgedly said, “Not for nothing,” and turned to the girl.

I did not understand his actions at all, turned on the screen again and again began to select the movie and only then came to me that the screens in the seats are made so that the neighbor from his angle did not see that on the screen and he seems black. That is, the guy thought I was so dumb that I dumbly drive my fingers over the black screen trying to turn it on.

Very uncomfortable.

The bird of happiness was suspiciously blue.

Probably there was a need to share some drawings about the war that the people of our country experienced. I want to convey the visions of ordinary people, not the hairy memories of political workers or military leaders.
Gennady Semenovich Shcherbakov, captain of 2nd rank and commander of a large diesel submarine lived a bright life and shared his observations and memories as an illustration of the event.
In the mid-1960s, only twenty years after the end of the war and not all of the heroes were dismissed in the reserve and even on holidays in the DOF (House of Officers) Polar organized feasts. 9 May. The solemn lunch ended, the officers went out to smoke and with them the commander of the brigade (?) The submarines. They began to ask him to tell something about the war. He refused for a long time, but the young Zador won, and the boss surrendered. Here is his story:
I was in the dosage for two weeks. During this time, no German ships or transports have been detected. I return to the Polar and to me immediately, as soon as I landed, on board the submarine, the sharp guys in skins jumped in. They looked at everyone and asked me, "Comrade Commander, did you release a combat sheet in the sea?
I answer – no.
“Did the wall newspaper be released?”
Again I say no.
“That’s why, Comrade Commander, you didn’t find anyone.”
Overall, for ten days my nerves trembled until I went on a journey again. Two vehicles were drowned on this journey. Upon returning – I give two salps, I am met with a pig... Again appeared sharp guys in skins. And again they approach me with questions: "Comrade commander, did you release the combat sheet in the sea? I answer – no. “The wall paper has been released?” I say again – No. “Comrade Commander, Sometimes we do nonsense to do. You have to throw them, throw them.”
Everyone laughed, except the head of the department.
This is what happened in the polar.

and 1981:
1st The English prince married.
2nd Liverpool won the Champions League
Three The Pope was shot.

by 2005:
1st The English prince married.
2nd Liverpool won the Champions League
Three Pope of Rome died

by 2018:
1st The English prince is getting married
2nd Liverpool in the Champions League final
Three Someone should warn the father.

I will tell you how I, in my youth, lohanul, and you will judge.

So I met a girl. A couple of dates, mutual sympathy.

One day, she writes to me - lost the keys to the door, can I come after work, break the lock (I have to say, she told me that she got an apartment from her grandmother, in which she now lives, well, of course, there is everything old, including a wooden door, well, I spent it once)

I am a simple man. You have a task – it must be accomplished. One problem is I am a lawyer. The habit of working with the head. Do not break the door with your head. But there are friends...

I take a friend, he takes the necessary tool, we meet the girl (even then I noticed that she is darker than the cloud, but did not give importance), we go, and a friend breaks the door lock.

The second bell was also - the girl accompanied us quickly, without thanking or inviting.

Again, I missed that bell from my ears.

The next day, she said it was better for us to stay friends and not talk anymore.

Then I began to suspect. Subsequently, through acquaintances, I found out that this beautiful woman decided so cleverly to invite me, such as the keys found at the last moment, go for a vince to drink. And I came with a friend, I could not admit, in the end, the door also hurt.

My mother told.

of 1974. I am in second class.

The December. The frost.

Mom hopes up, looks at the clock, the time is ten minutes nine. I slept! I am late! I went to school at eight.

Mom brakes me, wakes me up, quickly clothes me up, puts my wallet in the hand, does not feed me, drives me to the class. All minutes for five. I went.

Mom at work for nine, brother in the kindergarten.

She does everything quickly, is about to go alone, goes to wake her brother and here her look falls on the clock. For some reason, they show ten minutes at twelve... It’s cold... She realizes that she sent an eight-year-old boy to school about two nights. On our watches the arrow was almost the same length and demand could easily be confused. You usually go to school in the winter when it’s still dark.

Generally speaking, when she caught me, I had gone through three quarters. I crossed three roads. I went through the MVD. Why hasn’t anyone ever noticed a lonely child with a wallet in his hand?

She told me about it after... eleven years. I do not remember that at all. Totally totally. All the days were normal – she got up at seven, ate breakfast, dressed up and went to school.

I seemed to have slept well all the way. And until now, if I fall asleep until I wake up by myself, waking up is unrealistic.

No matter how many elections were held in the cattle herd, the shepherd always won with a large gap.

In the back part

In the spring of 1975.
The City of Lions.
We, who saw life, in October, finished our first class, the case was approaching May 9th and the teacher said:

Children, raise your hands for whom grandparents fought.

His hands raised almost everything.

Okay, please drop it down. And now raise your hands, whose warring grandparents do not live in the village, but in Lviv and will be able to come to school on Victory Day to tell us about the war?

The hand turned out to be smaller, the choice of the teacher fell on Borky's grandfather, and they decided to call him.

Then came that day.
Borya did not pump, brought to school not one, but two of his grandparents and even his grandmother at the end of the day. Before the beginning, confused by the attention of the grey old men surrounded the grandson and began to carefully fix him the collar and chubby, and Bora proudly looked at the sides and the triumph. But here the guests took off the coats and we all saw that one of the grandparents (one with a stick) had so many awards that the color of his jacket could only be determined from the back. He was a Hero of the Soviet Union. The second Borkin grandfather disappointed us a little bit, as did the grandmother, they didn’t have a single, even the smallest medal.

The hero was placed on a chair at the class board, and the second grandfather and grandmother were placed on the back of the board. At the children’s party they looked somewhat ridiculous, but they were quite overwhelmed.
At the very beginning, all three the teacher handed a bucket of nails, we applauded and began to listen attentively to the main character.
Grandfather turned out to be a pilot and fought from the 41st and almost to the victory, until he was written off injury. Many years have passed, but I still remember some fragments of his story. It was delicious and with humor. One of his phrases is worth, I now sometimes recall it to the place and not to the place: "I go over the sea, the weather is dumb, but my mood is great, because I am sure that the fuel to the shore should be enough. Even if it’s not enough, it’s a little bit...”
At the same time, he spoke to us on an equal footing, like with old friends. No “from above down.” And each of us began to feel that he himself became a Hero of the Soviet Union a little bit and was confident that if we were stuck in the fighter cabin now, then we, somehow, will not disappear.

The class stared and listened, listened and almost did not breathe, imagining that somewhere far below us the Caucasian mountains swim in snow hats.
But the second grandfather and grandmother ruined everything.
Only the heroic grandfather began to tell about how he was beaten up in the deep German rear, so that, the second grandfather, suddenly began to sneeze and whisper loudly. The teacher poured water out of the graffiti and softened his shoulder.
After the pause, the hero continued, but when he reached the injury or the hospital, the grandmother from the back of the room began to ridiculously cries and cries.
We all looked around and tried to chick unnoticed. Very weak and impressive were the non-medal grandmother and grandfather. But not everyone is a hero. Some, not that they have nothing to tell, they even fear to hear about war.

Only recently, years later, I learned from Borka that those, his "weak and impressive" grandmother and grandfather from the back, were Borina's grandmother and grandfather. They just came to school to support and listen to their son-frontman, and most importantly, to then carry him home, or he could start headaches at any time and lose sight.

The new President Putin has taken into account all the mistakes of the old President Putin and has appointed a new Prime Minister instead of the old Prime Minister Medvedev.

Look at the composition of the new government. I remembered: And you, friends, as you do not sit down, everything in musicians do not fit!

told one acquaintance. His father Platonov Ivan Zinovievich went through the entire war, fought as a communicator in the troops of Marshal Rocosovsky. He served at one of the headquarters radio stations, and at the Marshal’s headquarters. And the war ended and in the year so in the eighties Ivan Zinovievich visited one of the communications museums and one can say the officer. In one of the exhibits he recognized his radio station, on which he worked a lot of time. Then I spoke with the staff of the museum for a long time and made a type of observation that one block is missing in the radio station set. And in his response - yes, we know about it, we have a block, but it has a nasty word scratched on it. Yes, yes, I remembered Ivan Zinovievich, I myself scratched my initials "PIZ", and the guys wrote the rest with a stick.

All those who missed the inauguration ceremony of Russian President Vladimir Putin, do not be upset. Look at the next time.