You have borrowed your “delicate soul organizations” suffering from the “arbitrary and harshness” of trade workers.

Dear mothers and grandmothers! You steal the most in the shops. One of the mothers in the child’s wheelchair hid five cans of expensive baby food in boxes, two bottles of cognac and a huge box of candy. Then the police soppy in the shape smashed - money is not enough, the child is third, the husband has escaped, sorry for me, forgive me and let go with the kidnapped! Another hid her three-year-old daughter in a backpack two bottles of expensive shampoo. Then there are tears, soap.

- All pay, no money with me, I can leave my daughter as a guarantee, I will definitely come back!

The grandmothers are more attentive.

You will do nothing to me! I am going to fall here and scream that you are beating me, and I will be believed, and you will be judged!

One such “God’s garment” at all stated.

Not with Stalin, I will not even be punished.

Even grandmothers like to pretend - a complete mess. Under the noise they collect both their purchases and another buyer. This is their favorite topic!

Is it not mine? I took the same bottle!

“Yes, grandmother, this bowl of caviar, four hundred grams, for three thousand six hundred rubles is yours. And two hundred gram chocolate for three hundred rubles per piece is also yours!

Even the finger twisted into the cashier ticks and speaks.

I come to you every day, you probably remember me.

Yes, Grandma, we remembered you already! You remember how you spit weight candy in your pockets and pull a couple of eggs out of the boxes and no longer hide them in your pocket, because you are taught by the bitter experience that someone of the buyers accidentally pressed you to the box table and the eggs in your pocket cracked. We also remember how you pierced a hole in a pack of expensive washing powder with your finger and slowly poured a little, so that it would be enough for one wash, in a bag.

Grandparents do not do this kind of stuff! If they are humble, they are humble. They take a bottle of vodka and quickly, quickly, quickly, until they have taken away, butterfly, butterfly - remove the mock syndrome. But if they were caught for this action.

And I will pay! Maybe I needed it urgently?

A young man with a huge sports bag, why do you carry her shopping hall? I perfectly understand you that it is so big that it will not fit into the storage chamber. Why do you go to the store with this bag? You can carry anything with this bag! Starting with our little cleaner who got your bag on the head. He didn’t even apologize, pretended he didn’t notice, or didn’t notice what was being noticed? Forty-five kilos, one and a half meters of height. The goods were removed from the shelf specifically. I am sure. And don’t tell me and the police that it wasn’t so displayed! I paid as cute. Everything was well seen in the camera.

A mommy with two completely uncontrollable children, who are carried around the hall, beating off the buyer and shop worker's legs, stumbled into a deadly struggle with the same mommy, whose child sits in a food cart and melancholy presses out the cheese with his foot through the sticks of that one. And when the little boy notices that not everything has sold out, he decides to get up in his entire height of a six-year-old boy. The car is driving, the child does not maintain balance and rolls his face into the shelves, the glass cover of the refrigerator! How the baby managed to catch our carrier, before the child managed to get hurt and suffer - it is just God's providence! not otherwise. And then there was a scream.

“You, pedophile, are catching my son!

Police took them all. The truck was then returned. He was crying.

“I’ll go home, there I have four sons, Jamila alone won’t be able to do it!

Don’t think I treat people badly. Ninety-five percent of buyers are absolutely normal, adequate people. We are always happy to see them, always happy to do for you a little more than you should! And we will help with the choice, and find the right amount, if suddenly someone needs a lot of some goods. We will call the cashiers for lunch if it's time. I myself, already as the director of the store, opened an additional box and pierced the goods by the buyer. I often heard it.

Glad you opened the box too!

immediately from the other.

He’s sitting there, clothes, and paperwork!

Please explain to me, insulting people, what are you expecting? Is it gratitude?! to

In a word, dear ones, the same five percent of the remaining buyers — debt! You borrowed with your hatch!

They borrowed!

A Russian came to a Jewish neighbor to borrow money. For a long time, he apologized for his anti-Semitism: he ripped his shirt on his chest, swore that he would no longer offend him, etc. The Jew was upset and gave money. Before leaving, the guest asked:
One thing I never understood, I...
Ask me! I have no secrets from my friends.
Pesach is the holiday of the exodus of the Jews from Egypt.
– Yes...
Why is it celebrated by Jews and not Egyptians?

The comparison of the real with the ideal ends in divorces and revolutions.

I work in a taxi. The client sat in the car.
I: Please cling to me.
Q: What is it? In front of Gaia?
Q: What is Gai? This is for your safety.
Q: Are you a bad driver? I will not go with you!
I got out of the car and canceled the order.

If a person creates greenhouse conditions, a vegetable can grow from it.

It is said that if you call a dog, it will come, and if you call a cat, it will take note. I have a cat, if I call him, he immediately runs away. Because if he does not run, the dog will run, and he will eat all the delicacies.

I tell my mom, say don't open to anyone, everyone goes.Elderly people watch different programs about the perpetrators all day, but they don't take the role of victims on themselves.At least many.Open the doors to pseudo-gas drivers, water pipers, etc.I can't be around always,but! I bought a police suit and hanged it in the hallway to look.It worked.We came, greeted and dropped.But 4 apartments in our house went on that day.Buy your parents the right headscarves.

Success is the ability to be in the right place at the right time.

Six months ago, a new restaurant opened in our small town. An entrepreneurial Tatar opened a shale and named it by his name - "U Mirzaya".

Like every thoughtful businessman, he put advertising expenses into the budget. For the first two months, promoters distributed leaflets on the streets, advertising banners on the fencing invited to go for a delicious snack, and SMM shoppers posted in the social network tasty photos of ready-made dishes. There were guests in the cafe, but Mirzau wanted something like this, so that the whole city knew about the ego institution!

After analyzing his budget and prices for advertising campaigns, he stopped his choice on the radio. Having come up with a few short, but tangible slogans such as: "At Mirzaia - delicious and cheap!", "At Mirzaia - all guests are happy!", he signed a contract with the local radio station. Literally for the day, a media plan was made and audio videos were recorded.

Everything went well until the next day the city heard a radio advertisement, where a well-established male voice spoke with feeling and arrangement:

The dog died – all the guests are pleased!

You pay too little, you pay too little!

The dog has died – now it is more enjoyable and tasty!

After these slogans went the address of the cafe and the phone. Advertising instantly became the city’s mem, and revenue in shale has almost doubled! Luckily with the name Mirza.

What does it mean to give parliamentarians a country average salary? So you can agree before you offer them to live according to the laws they adopt!

1: Somewhere I read that the scriptwriters of Santa Barbara at some point got confused in the characters and plot lines. Realizing this, they introduced a maniac into the plot, who gradually cut off all the unnecessary characters, without any motives, simply because he is a maniac.



The guys as much as they could.



In other words, are you confused? Couldn’t they see it all over again?

Teacher of Psychology:

Imagine an adjective that describes you and begins with the same letter as your name. Let’s start with you, Costello.

and creative.

and well. Why Creative?

I couldn’t think of another word for the letter “k”.

I work in a taxi. The client sat in the car.

and further dialogue.

I: Please cling to me.

K: And what then? In front of Gaia?

I: What does Gai have to do with it? This is for your safety.

Q: Are you a bad driver? I will not go with you!

He got out of the car and cancelled the order.

The daughter was driving in the bus today and heard a conversation between the driver (B) and the passenger (P).

The driver is talking on the phone.

Q: “Driver, do you know that it is forbidden to talk on the phone while driving?”

A: “And I talk to myself, and I just hold the phone in my hand.” Showing a already turned off phone.

P: “Now I’m even more afraid.”

The inner world of a woman is a mystery until she opens her mouth.

Religion is a personal matter? Do you share my beliefs? Do you want to join the discussion? Maybe I will dare.

Say, when a “group of people united by common interests” grumbles exhibitions, breaks into the cinemas during the show, and just disrupts cultural events – is it also a personal matter?

When religion starts to blow children in the heads almost not first class - it is also a personal matter?

When one famous crazy official proposes to ban oral sex as contrary to Christian morality, and other officials proposes to exclude abortion from the OMS, because it is not Christian – is it also a personal matter?

When the state prohibits the display of films and almost officially introduces censorship in the information space, motivating it by the fact that believers can be insulted – is it also a personal matter?

When the State Duma adopts a whole law on the protection of the feelings of believers, thanks to which people are imprisoned for posts on social networks, and sites are blocked by Roskomnadzor – is it also a personal matter?

Like you, I’ve been fooled before you. Because of you and your religion, our state does nothing. Your “feelings” are protected, your organizations are registered and funded, almost no criticism is allowed in your address. Yes, even in some catering establishments do not buy anything meat, because fasting.

It would seem that the whole state works for your convenience. But you do not have enough. You start climbing to the person in bed, in the head, in the sphere of personal interests and crushing your personal views. Say, and atheists do not have their own feelings, which also need to be defended? Can they see, read, hear and think as they want?

So, until religion really becomes a personal affair, and you stop, as you wrote, “climb to us in the soul,” I will joke about sex in the post and discuss the golden clock of the patriarch. Remove the barrel from your own eye first, then look for it in others.

In the restaurant:
Why are your portions so small?
Try eating it first.

This happened in the distant 1992. We got an apartment and decided to put a cage. by Sami. The husband said that to keep the tiles better, it should be done on the walls. I took a tourist hammer and enthusiastically started the business.I could help him with advice and would soon be sent far away, and more specifically to the kitchen to cook lechoes. In general, the work boiled: my husband crushes the walls, I cut the vegetables and here the bell in the door.I after the onion, all in tears, I open the door, and on the threshold my girlfriend-Lubasha.Looked at me and asked what happened?And I told her, say, we divorce, said that first the whole house will be cut off, and then she will leave. Love ran into the toilet, and there, as I said, my husband rubbed the wall with a toporik.With a scream: "Jura, it's wrong," Lubasha hanged on my husband. And the one in misunderstandings, as he says wrongly, does not teach, says, a man and tries to push Lubash away.And Lubash, for the sake of that meter with a hat in height, hangs on him like a clover and screams that it is not possible to do so. The husband is psychotic and grumbling in response, that it will not work out otherwise, that he has a little bit left and you can go to the bathroom... And I think that if I did not laugh, she would have taken the rope from him.

When I worked on the practice at Volma, we had such a novel.

From somewhere he got a camouflage hydrolase suit and slipped through the shallow waters. The bird photographed.

Once he went to the nest of swamp moons, but in the shallow water he got confused in the net.

It is worth noting that instead of his head he had a white swallow with a camera.

He sits quietly on the bottom, cutting the net with a knife. He hears a rush. It turns.

The man on the boat so quietly crawls to him with a glimpse forward.

Roma, in general, weighs a kilogram by 120. But with a thin, subterranean voice he says:

Don’t take the swallow.

The man looked side by side. I saw nothing.

He begins to swim further.

Roma again with a loud voice:

Don’t dare to touch a swallow. The man crossed. He gave me “Veso”.

The camera and Rome flooded.

From the depths of the lakes rises Roma weighing 120 kg. All in algae and in its camouflage form.

The man jumps out of the boat and runs on the shallow water.

A genius feels the truth even when he does not understand it.