bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148225
 16.01.2018
Q: How does a directory differ from a catalog?
A: On the hard disk file system. in the file system directory. in the directory catalog. in the catalogue. in the file folder.
A: They say earlier in Windows 95 there were still wallets.
D: The closets

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148224
 16.01.2018
Don’t have to: shit and lies on TV every day and at least someone was removed, at least someone resigned.
I: I removed the kitchen TV and removed the telephone in the room.
Now I only read on TV about shit, but I don’t see or hear it.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148223
 16.01.2018
Tell me who was on the mountain in the near future!
I have healing bleaches after alplagery - need to update!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148222
 16.01.2018
I knew not a few guys whom the army took away not for a year, but forever. Now I’m old, gray and with a beer blob, and they’re still thin and 19-20 years old. At the cemetery because.
So don’t write.

You are just writing hernia. Complications during childbirth/pregnancy and after interruption take no less. It usually takes two lives at once. I am a man not to be exaggerated.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148221
 16.01.2018
# Cinema

The movie was recently. There is some wealthy man on the go, that you have to get married, says an elderly housewife, saying, here you and I marry. She answers that he will not go for him - now he pays her five thousand for cleaning, and his wife will not pay them for the same cleaning.

so simple, for reference, it is a movie - "The Last Hero" (2017)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148220
 16.01.2018
"I want more!" We run away from here by chance.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148219
 16.01.2018
AllbearableRobots
My husband and I work together in the same company. In our dining room they cook just excellent - delicious, varied and not even expensive. One day, when I was very sick and got the flu, I stayed at home with a temperature below forty and suddenly an empty refrigerator, and asked my husband to bring meals for a couple of days. At lunch, one of his colleagues noticed a large container in him, asked why he needed so many cocktails, and when he heard the answer about my illness, he was very surprised - "But Mania is a woman! What can she do for herself?"
Bose, pregnant and in the kitchen is a classic.
Such things.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148218
 16.01.2018
Zoe, get up! Admin was out! Where are the jokes? Where is the sense of humor?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148217
 16.01.2018
My husband and I both suffered a cold. Both are freelancers. I decided to blur the glintwein.The result - my husband cut off the naphyg, I improved my working capacity. He’s sleeping, and I’m figured.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148216
 16.01.2018
[kk]: Intel, like many large railway offices, has rather mediocre software quality. In the case of Intel, this is clearly visible in all of their control panels, for example for their graphics.
[fi]: ah, try to get there - at least two higher mathematics needs to be!
And that’s just in the clinic!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148215
 16.01.2018
A few years ago I tried the contraceptive pills.
After a few weeks of reception, there was a steady desire to go out the window.
I did not immediately understand what it had to do with. As I remembered about the pills - I stopped drinking, everything went well in a week.
By the way, the contraceptive effect they have - fuck out at all.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148214
 16.01.2018
To all who are trying to fly on the wings of love and happiness, I wish in advance to worry about the parachute!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148213
 16.01.2018
We went with a friend to his house. We were already welcomed by our wife and mother, who celebrated their 100th birthday in the summer.
For the tea, the owner complained that lately, my mom stopped walking and runs only on the doorstep. As a doctor, I used to use the advice:
You definitely need to walk slowly – at least a couple of times a day to the well and back. If it is hard, rely on the stick.
Well, of course, that I, like an old lady, would walk in the village with a claw...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148212
 16.01.2018
Previously, scientists believed that the poorer a person is, the more he looks at television. But suddenly it turned out that the opposite - the more people watch television, the poorer they are.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148211
 16.01.2018
This is work, and it costs a lot of money...
- How you bored with your over, there is a normal Russian word "to fuck".
What if I’m overweight?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148210
 16.01.2018
Anonymous: to read you, so there is no life after the wedding. Did your parents survive the same?

Parent: Is this life?


[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148209
 16.01.2018
X: If a person is an idiot, it does not depend on whether he has a vagina or a fox.
Dude and fucking. In other words, vagina and penis. We are for linguistic equality.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148208
 16.01.2018
xxx: I was "happy" at work today
xxx: I fell as a guy all last week at 17:00, and it turns out to be a slave day until 18:00 ))
Tagged: xDD
xxx: I was just ashamed to speak to me, so I was confident in the sunrise
YYY: You give it.
Even the boss was silent.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148207
 16.01.2018
I got into the car yesterday, well, I was so frightened!
You are in the last word of the letter "f" and "s" confused)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148206
 15.01.2018
The expert announced:

The lamp opens not simply, but very simply. A child will obviously be better with two colliding parents, but filled and dressed, than with one mother suffocating at work and work < >

You better ask psychologists how eternal parental scandals affect the child’s psyche. I'll tell you, as a child of such a union - at 35 years old, I've been wrapping circles with pills and a therapist for a year, working out childhood injuries and periodic attacks of wild depression, when I just want to shake my brains or use a loop. At the same time, my peers - the children of divorced parents have their backbone, of course, but before mine they are like a pedestrian to the moon.

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