bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68926
 24.08.2012
from ZH:
The idea was that in each office with programmers a special department should be established that would be engaged in socialization instead of them: obtain visas, go to Lithuania for toilet paper, go to clinics and other state institutions, monitor that programmers regularly update the wardrobe, centrally drive the wives and children of programmers on vacation and perform other functions necessary for a cultural person, but so stressful for the schizoid brain.
This is an antisocial package.
And programmers would at this time sit and fuck like slaves in galleries.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №68925
 24.08.2012
Mom Shesh: "We did two impossible things during this vacation. My daughter got married and changed the mixer!" I don’t even know what she’s happier about...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №68924
 24.08.2012
What are you, cowboy, eating your cows?
I heard somewhere that goats are dead brain cells. Let them stay in me.
Your brain is actually made up of them, apparently.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68923
 24.08.2012
15:59 *Armshock*: People don’t believe it!Yesterday I went to the hairdresser, I accidentally got a hair on my nose, he noticed it and scratched my nose... and then turned around and said, "No one will believe you anyway...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68922
 23.08.2012
A programmer sits at the computer at night and suddenly feels a touch from behind. It turns around – his wife stands naked and looks at him.Programmer: – Sorry, sweet, but the computer is busy.
YYY: not true
YYY: We can just be distracted.
YYY: another food

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68921
 23.08.2012
It was strange that they separated...he loved and respected her so much that he didn’t even want to fuck.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68920
 23.08.2012
I found the wrong Chinese proverb:
“It can’t rain all year long, you can’t be poor all your life.”

Yyy: This Chinese man just never lived in Peter. and :)

[ + 33 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68919
 23.08.2012
you think of how to burn the whole world with the miserable mortals and here to mess up the unbound rope, spotting and fucking and into the dirty dirt >_<

Whenever I go home/out of the house, angry at all the white light, and consider epic plans to avenge the boss/dirty neighbor-toptune/mother-in-law from the tram/mayor, so that he/she etc., my eyes stumble upon the inscription on the fence near the building house. There are only two words written in blue:"Do not go out". It helps a lot, you know.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №68918
 23.08.2012
Today I walked with the dog, found a brick under the battery in the room to put.Yesterday there was a thunderstorm, the lightning flashed into our house, the light flashed, on the 9th floor the transmitter burned. Today we go for a walk with the brick and the repairmen came, the driver cries to me - give me a dog to the country? I ask why suddenly? he says, and where do you take her with the brick?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68917
 23.08.2012
I study with the most amazing girls in the world.

I slept sweetly and saw the tenth dream when I suddenly woke up. from a group. At the half hour of the night. The message began with a wonderful message: “Are you sleeping?” (a wonderful question) and continued with a statement that there is a serious conversation and a request to call back immediately.

I called back.

Honestly, I thought something serious had happened. Or not very serious. At the bad end, I thought, maybe she wants to know the exam tickets or something else in the same spirit.

When she explained that she needed me so much that I didn’t even get angry.

She watched the movie "Red Lights" in the afternoon and didn't understand the end of the film. She wanted me to explain to her.


[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68916
 23.08.2012
We play rolling.
The crew escapes from the immortal vampire through the forest. Several girls stumble and fall. I hear their scream.
The vampire master stops and with an ordinary voice shouts: "All whole?" and after receiving an affirmative answer already with a vampire voice shouts: "Not long!" and collapses again after us in pursuit.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68915
 23.08.2012
Rambler's comment on the news about the accident with the idol Timothy:
When Timothy committed the accident, he was not in execution. He did not believe in God at that time. God did not believe in Timothy at that time.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №68914
 23.08.2012
The night. Let us go to sleep. As usual, she slept with us and occupies half the bed.
Wife: Take Veronica to bed.
I : No. I do not tolerate children.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №68913
 23.08.2012
YYY: I went on the unstoppable 2
Stupid film
shootings and fights every 6 minutes, conversations as such are almost completely absent
XXX: AAAAGRGRHRHH
I absolutely love this movie.
Yyy: Heroes are moving
The devil knows where.
XXX is a good day!!! to
God keep going.
Do not stop
Romance is less than zero.
XXX is OOO!!!! to
The joke is really boring.
I go eat.
You are not nervous x)
xxx: a man's tear flows on his cheek

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №68912
 23.08.2012
I saw an Internet Explorer advertisement on TV.
Spit the TV with holy water.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №68911
 23.08.2012
Q: Do you want chocolate?
J : No. When the Zai PMS she does not want sweet... (*then thought for a second., turned her look somewhere away and gave*) - she wants to kill....

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №68910
 23.08.2012
You can also make sauces yourself.
XHH: Cut the crust and make different crafts from it.
A shrinker, for example.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №68909
 23.08.2012
I’m 16 years old, my boyfriend too, we’ve been dating for a year and a month, I’m a virgin, but today I gave him... It was painful... painful, but tolerable. He was squeezing to the end, but there was no blood... no drop... and my boyfriend says he didn’t feel the PLEVA broke... then there was no sensation... it was just pleasant that he went in and out... but there was no blood... I had a question why there wasn’t blood??? Does that mean that the neck just didn’t break? My boyfriend said that she didn’t feel like she was breaking up?????? I don't know what this helps.
ROFL: It’s really a mess – there must be a fountain of blood and the sound of rotting skin.
Try the refreshment!

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №68908
 23.08.2012
I have a question to you.
to go.
Why do you put a point at the end of the sentence?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №68907
 23.08.2012
XXX: My last one broke all the records. After the phrase "All I leave you!" another hour painted on the road.

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