I recently went to a psychiatrist and said:
I play dance, like dependency.
One of the psychologists:
What is your efficiency?

Bremaver: I remembered a banal way to confuse a person. Ask "you down?" and point your finger up.

Funny advertisement went - The dentist says: "I am often treated with tooth pain..." AND WHAT should I treat him? With hemorrhoids?

You need to allocate 18+ to the advertisement, at least during the day it will not be shown.

Our players have become champions of the Paralympic Games.
The main collection?

Only in Russia to the doctor, taking from 4 o'clock, you can sit in the line for 2 hours, and you have a TALLON for 4!

I work in the security department. The customer comes to connect the apartment to the security controller. Fill out documents and in the object card (the characteristics of the apartment) writes, literally:
- Two-room apartment in the first entrance on the first floor of the nine-storey panel house, windows of the kitchen and lodge out on the back of the house, the bedroom window on the entrance (facade). Animals in the apartment: a dumb cat. In the event of a cat alarm or cat attack on the police officer, shoot the cat to the defeat (you will shoot, do not damage the linoleum, the apartment can be rented)

I can’t stand up to see the cat’s hand.

256 days a year. Congratulations to all involved!

The suv:

In St. Petersburg, a pensioner stole six million rubles and Faberge eggs

Give me your eggs back!!!! to

I sit in the cabbage... The playlist is just to inspire... Here you and scurvy, and Bilan, and Alsu, and metal with Kenny J... Gesto... Poor my brain...

Upd: Oh, Ramstein went... I’m waiting for Mozart and Sepulture...

Dear iPhone 4S owners! We remind you that tomorrow morning the spells of your wickedness will disappear and you will become poor again. =) is

See photos from the car show. One of the companies presented a concept car with completely transparent doors.
Commentary of husband:
And not to scratch...

From the ASK:
...
Wgr: When we were sitting in the apartment, after the celebration, did he know that he was wet?

wgr: Girls from the universe asked him to sing a song under the guitar that reminds him of them and is associated with them.

Wgr: When I heard the familiar introduction, I was alert. And when the words went: "Children's Shallows on the Tossy Shallows" I couldn't stand and just scratched my legs with laughter C:

On Sunday evening in the shopping district on cameras saw some emo that painted the walls.
Well, they quickly gathered all the guards, ran after them for a long time, eventually pressed them in some corner, brought them to themselves.
XXX: Locked in some office, caused penties
xxx: I forgot to say, while running, one of these fools fell and put on the concrete well, well, and someone from the guard said too loudly that well, say that under the camera it happened, there will be no need to prove that we did not beat them.
xxx: A minute after 20 mint profits, the cabinet opens, from there the bodies fall out, all in blood, one's nose is broken, the rings swell right in front of the eyes
xxx: Everyone is in shock, and those to myths, say uncles, save us, we are beaten here, punish them, we are not at all and so on
xxx: So now in the local security there is a cool recording, in HD, with the original sound, as three dude beats each other in a hurry :)

From Chat WoT:
XX: Ride like a flock
YYY: So is it!
Zzzz: That is true!
Uuu: So is it!
Kkk: That is for sure.

The news:
1st Russia is in favor of holding an international conference on Syria, said Bogdanov.
2nd The US does not consider it possible to hold an international conference on Syria in the context of ongoing violence in the country
nailgun: Russians - Let's hold a conference to stop the war!"

Americans – "It won’t work, there’s a war going on!"

It is :)

Monster: Just as a samurai goes to battle alone, knowing that he will not return home, so I am tired of going to work, knowing that the boss will answer my puzzles.

It’s hard to explain and convince your wife why you need a GTX 580 for $600.
2: I do it easier. I bring a new, I say, I have changed with a friend, this is about the same, a little better, but it is for the special. The tasks of a friend at work are not very suitable... well, and the screws are generally stacked. and :)
1: The woman breaks into the room, and you are sitting on the couch and the pages of the magazine are a little so that the wind has collapsed... and the new screw is still not twisted on the shelf hanging.
Wife: Why a screwdriver in your hands?! to
Under the couch!
(And on the 3D screen, the mark just gives out 50,000 puppets, and you have such a drop of sweat falling from your forehead)

Today the cat did not have time to fill the filler since the morning, and she guessed in the bowl. At this point I stood brushing my teeth, the tap water was turned on. The cat jumped onto the laundry, first washed one leg under a stream of water, then another, something missed and left.

Without women it is as hard as it is with them.