bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №68906
 23.08.2012
XXX: You are right. The Best Wives of Former Prostitutes
YYY : Why?
XXX: Yes, my during the mine decided to take in the mouth. Half a day bleeding. She didn’t like the sperm. I have tried something special a couple of times.
Are you a homicide?
XXX: Yes to her. I but youth when thin was calm to the member mouth got
YYY : The football. You’d better be a hummer.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68905
 23.08.2012
20:55:15 [girl] private [boy] and why did you say that you would go to the psychiatric hospital for me when I start asking?
20:56:04 [boy] private [girl] because you don’t think, but you generate an asynchronous stream of unknown coding symbols

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №68904
 23.08.2012
XXX: Release me from your philosophical status, please. I see you tonight with the banks "Jaguar".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №68903
 23.08.2012
I was with a friend on vacation in Karelia. Return home to Moscow. 300 km to the capital in the тверской region got into a dead traffic jams with a speed of 10 meters per hour. After half an hour of silence and 5 meters runs, a friend gives:
In Moscow, the war has begun, and the traffic jams in Leningrad are already beginning here.
We’ve been there for an hour and a half :)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №68902
 23.08.2012
Avira Antivirus Now Identifies Yandex.bar as a Multitab 6 Trojan
Lord, You have heard my prayers!

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68901
 23.08.2012
We have a lot of smart things, smart programs, smart homes, but, for a reason, idiots are getting more and more.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №68900
 23.08.2012
Valuev, I see, a versatile man: he sits in the Duma, he is engaged in boxing, he also starred in advertising - everywhere he was in his pocket...
YYY: It is that... when he goes out in the evening for a run, he first runs half a street from him, and then, realizing that he can not escape, give everything valuable from a pure heart. He thinks they are fans.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №68899
 23.08.2012
Love is evil, you will love the goat.
Love is good, you will love and you will love.

This is the battle of the bear with the goat :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68898
 23.08.2012
XXX is:
Fuck, how we’ve roasted the luck! Artist Grith, which the artist asked for today. He got poisoned, and the funniest thing yesterday was borrowed from him.
XXX is:
Buying the Devil :D
XXX is:
Ninja Skill Nihua is not pumped!

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68897
 23.08.2012
Dirk is Hi. Where have you been for two weeks?
Hard_Metal: Was I lying in the hospital, was I beaten?
Dirk: The guy how? You have been working as a soldier for 5.5 years. Is it a jump man?
Hard_Metal: Well, one was enough, for a long tongue, so me and Serge also attributed it.
Dirk: for details please.
Hard_Metal: Well, we are in the dressing room discussing that the anime of Fairy Tail is a boring range and everyone who looks at it bites I scratched them, etc.
Dirk: And what can you get for that?
Hard_Metal: Do you remember I told you about Kostyan who was the 2nd dan and world champion?
Dirk: Well, did he get struck too?
Hard_Metal: So, he has a tattoo of the emblem of Fairy Taylor on his shoulder, here he is our 2nd and told us what.
What did the coach do for him?
Hard Metal: What about the coach? He has been walking in the Rave master t-shirt for 3 years, for him slipped in the shower.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68896
 23.08.2012
I lie in bed at night, tired and dissatisfied with everyone. My husband sits by, hugs me and gently tells me that I am his princess.
Until then I say to him that nothing like that is fucking me, not the princess.
For a while we were arguing who I was. I came to a compromise – I’m a shit.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68895
 23.08.2012
zzz: oh, so I lost the phone... well how I lost... two people came in the street

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №68894
 23.08.2012
The last summer in human history.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №68893
 23.08.2012
In the morning we wake up - both pillows on the floor, we lay on the bed in picturesque poses. We get up and it turns out that her neck hurts wildly, and I have two bruises on my shoulder. She thought thoughtfully: "Maybe we fought overnight"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №68892
 23.08.2012
How tired I was yesterday of rubbing underwear, I realized only this morning when I found a bunch of clean kitchen towels in the refrigerator.

[ + 23 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68891
 23.08.2012
I love my country and I hate my country. We are now suing with the Department of Architecture, wants to demolish our houses. It is sad, of course, but the essence of the claim is immensely pleasant. Only we can illegally legalize property! ))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68890
 23.08.2012
Question for joining a clan in one MMORPG:
......
Do you have a reception at 18? Do you need to have sex?
......

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №68889
 23.08.2012
Sometimes it is difficult for a cat to find a name. First he is "Flint", then "Ryzy", then in general "Kudabladebyl!"... and only with the appearance in the house of a child he automatically and irrevocably becomes "Kiyisya!!and "

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68888
 23.08.2012
xxxxx (09:45:15 30/06/2012)
I went home yesterday. and from the darkness a iron pipe attacked me. and my whole leg broke :(

yyyyy (09:46:51 30/06/2012)
sadness (and yesterday the cognac attacked me and then the vodka I beat off with a counterbass and the vodka attacked accompanied by sandwiches, then I slept in the Kremlin and here I just came

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №68887
 23.08.2012
A smart man is always in the shadow of a beautiful woman, so that the sun does not warm his head.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna