The TV in the office was broken.
The system manager comes to him and from the threshold: "And you can watch TV"...

Today in the communal kitchen I saw a girl turning the cakes in a bowl with the NAILS...

0 O

Can I shoot in the street? Maybe, but don’t dance in the temple.

Zenit bought two blacks for 80 million euros. Two hundred years ago, black people could be bought for that money.

Real sociopaths make angry ones instead of diaries.

Russia is a generous soul.
I am once again fined by a camera in Leningrad (Moscow) for exceeding 20km. Allowed there 60, but no one goes so much, because the highway is still! Total of 600r. to the execution. Only from one of me. Take a calculator and imagine:
in a minute there cars 10 exceeds speed, so 10 cars X 60 minutes = 600 fines per hour!
600straff / hour X 10 hours (because the rest of the time of traffic jams and night, few cars) = 6,000 fines per day! 2,190,000 fines per year! Multiply by 300r. And we get the astronomical amount - 657,000,000 rubles! Only one camera.
And these cattle deputies are offering us to repair the roads for their blood, for donations!

You hate it, you hate it!

The dentists have a very specific sense of humor.
xxx: I went to a complicated operation today (removing wisdom teeth), so this scuco doctor first examined me for ten minutes, then philosophically said so, then added "nahuy".
WOW, and what is it?
HH: That is not all. Then he called the dentist from the neighboring office, and they both stood there for five minutes. Then they say to each other, “You see, and you have not said that. With you beer" It was two minutes and we split up.I was sitting.
Have your teeth done?
miha101: You can’t believe it...))) perfect)))

And what if the accountants have their website where they write about what sisadmines are stupid?

I write the control. Mother comes
Why don’t you go to sleep so late?
I write control.
So why do you do everything at the last minute? can’t you do it in advance?
I am a lawyer student, and suddenly the law changes.
What a serpent you are, and you turn out!

XXX: Who are you a choleric? Or maybe a phlegmatic, sandwich?
Probably a penguin.

Oksana
If you wash your ass and say you’re washing your ass, it’s a present.

Theme
Yes Yes
You are right

Oksana
If you wash your ass all the time, it’s a simple present.

Theme
It does not!

Oksana
HOA
AAAA
Periodically wash your ass.

Theme
When you wash your ass at the same time.

Theme
And if you washed your ass yesterday, it’s a paste-simple.
If you wash your ass before going to the bathroom, this paste is perfect.

Miracle of Light:
Paradoxically, but
Men make men.
Especially women! and :)

I was rattled by an army.
Sados

Hi to you. The MacBook broke. It seems that the problem is either in the low-voltage cable or in the connector. Does it make sense to speak to you?
Hi to you. We will be happy to sell you a new one!
and thanks. I have already sold the new one with pleasure.

19.09.2012 17-45 Caesar: come to me? I jumped the Avengers in good quality, let’s see.
19.09.2012 17-46 Plutovka: Well, of course. I know you. This mess is years older than me.
19.09.2012 17-49 Caesar: Olya, go to Fig. They hit. I have an armored LED at home on 42, the 5.1 system, and I bought all this to glue the body. I have very different methods, and especially you are my friend. Ol, I just really want to watch a movie with someone who shares my interest in Marvel Heroes.
19.09.2012 18-05 Plutovka: Well then blame for suspicions and wait for an hour to visit.
19.09.2012 18-07 Caesar: Ok.

20.09.2012 14-01 Plutovka: Now say more that you could not even imagine that it would end. XD is
20.09.2012 14-03 Caesar: It was quite possible.Moreover, the marvels were absolutely parallel to me until yesterday evening. by LOL
20.09.2012 14-05 Plutovka: Who are you after that? It is :)
20.09.2012 14-09 Caesar: the wretch of essence. Will you come today?
20.09.2012 14-05 Plutovka: And where I will go :*

xxx: I walk today on the boulevard, there are a few moms with children of three or four years of age.
XXX: A dog passes by with her dog. He makes a genius phrase.
xxx: "The children were born here, there is no place for the dog to walk out!and "

SkaN: My hair on my ass from anger moves faster than you

xxx: I slept with him in a man's way - for a crack. And he is with me in a woman’s way – for gratitude.

- In the morning from the bank came a text message:"We remind you that the date of the scheduled payment 01.01.3000, do not forget to pay the loan." Here they so obsessively hinted that I will owe them all my life I and my children up to the 120th knee. They will remember!

I am going to work. The TV flips. The brain captures the phrase:
When you go on vacation, you can take a child or other baggage with you.

Attacker Samuel It’O lives in Moscow in an apartment of one thousand square meters. The Mahakkalinsky club pays for apartments located in one of the capital high places, 80 thousand euros a month.

Oh, sorry, you want to fuck, you can’t get there.