bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №68806
 21.08.2012
I dreamed today. I sit at a large table, in front of me a plate of spaghetti with some sauce. I joyfully start to fill my mouth (hands why that), chew, and I understand that I do not feel the taste, I immediately understand that it is a devil's dream and I am overwhelmed, I turn angrily, I turn the plate on the head of the girl sitting next to me, I wipe my hands on the neighbor's jeans and I wake up outraged. and revenge)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №68805
 21.08.2012
A cat named Stabs took over a town of 900 inhabitants when he was only a few months old. Inhabitants of Tallinn believe that, voting for the weary candidate, they killed two rabbits at once: they got rid of the former hated official and attracted tourists to the town.

The local administration immediately became a must-see point of tourist routes in Alaska – thousands of people come to see and sometimes beat the mayor every year. The Treasury of Talkitna began to be remarkably replenished, and the citizens began to re-elect the cat as mayor year after year. For 15 years of life he has a similar term of public service.

We still think of them as stupid!? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №68804
 21.08.2012
XXX: Go out for me.
XXX: Tomorrow morning
XXX: No to Tonight
XXX: After work
XXX: I do this job.
XXX: Go out in the morning

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №68803
 21.08.2012
In 1994, Valery Meladze defended his candidate work on the topic of "Intensification of metabolic processes in an ionic filter with a pseudo-brown-liquid layer of cation".

How can you not drink after that?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №68802
 21.08.2012
The smoke burned in the morning. At 7 a.m. he wakes up, turns to me and very clearly articulates "And why do we have a barrel in our bed?". I, of course, stumbled, asked him what kind he told me at 7 a.m., after 4 years of living together, he decided to tell me that I was a thorn. Then they woke up at the alarm clock and I said to him, “Well, let’s get a cup of tea, let’s talk. What am I crawling?"))) It turned out that he struck his hand on a wooden armor and decided to ask me what a crawler does in our bed))))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: and you throw my state at 7 a.m. I never slept anymore...confused for an hour.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №68801
 21.08.2012
There is a tradition of finding the bunker at the end of the first season.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68800
 21.08.2012
Recently, returning from the country, the ancestors suddenly dreamed of collecting mushrooms in the wool, but, as it happened, no knife was with them.
But the invention worked, shit.
They walked in the woods and cut mushrooms with discounted blade cards!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №68799
 21.08.2012
xxx: the trip to the printer is cancelled tomorrow, the accounting office sent the bill one zero more than necessary, had to withdraw the payment
The rich have their wonders.
The rich have everything.
YYY: very strong

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №68798
 21.08.2012
I split up with the girlfriend, a week later, a call from her:
She: Hi, and you what, password "VKontakte" changed?
I: Well, that kind of...
She: And on which?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68797
 21.08.2012
From Twitter:
The feeling of being in the mail is shocked every time people come to them. Oh, they found us! They want a package!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №68796
 21.08.2012
Earthans don’t have the money to deliver water to the dry areas of Earth, but they have the money to find water on Mars.
Then it is worth asking: Is there a mind on Earth?

[ + 44 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68795
 21.08.2012
I saw the movie “Independence Day”. Everybody has seen him, and probably not once. One moment in the film makes you think: are Americans really stupid or so law-obedient that even in a fantastic movie? Aliens over Washington, in the city panic and confusion. People are leaving the city. People are walking, cars are standing in a super traffic jams. Trails leading out of the city. And next to the tracks leading to the city, let’s!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №68794
 21.08.2012
I went to study English in my dream. I put a cassette before sleep for a whole year. The result is somewhat unexpected: with the sounds of English speaking, I instantly fall asleep.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68793
 21.08.2012
We play the mafia.
The city is asleep... The nurse is awakening."
A nurse with zero emotions.
Leadership: "The nurse is awakening!"
The nurse does not respond.
The nurse is waking up!"
Sister: I am a prostitute fucking! I am a prostitute!"

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68792
 21.08.2012
Ask the Russians:

What are your favorite literary characters and why?
The column. As I read it, I realized that the world is cruel, the surroundings are insidious, and parents are irresponsible.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №68791
 21.08.2012
Beauty will save the world. You agree?
and nona.
Why are you walking so beautiful?
The world will save nothing anymore. So why be sad and walk scary?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №68790
 21.08.2012
The letter came today: “Your world will be deleted in 48 hours.”
and bl.

[ + 34 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68789
 21.08.2012
I am not gay or lesbian. The planet is so overcrowded, if some bites don’t multiply, I’m just happy.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №68788
 21.08.2012
My husband talks about our common acquaintances with Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:
“You know, it’s hard for me, a simple mortal, to communicate with half-gods... After all, half-gods are a little underhuman.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №68787
 21.08.2012
The developer is married, in connection with which he was released. In his absence he was found. A colleague writes the bag-report:
XHHH: Dima, here after editing the order went crazy!
Tagged with: p.s Congratulations to!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna