bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №70806
 30.09.2012
- My child, I work at Sberbank, we brought new furniture there, and the old one was not two years old, but we were told to throw it out. So I think – I won’t throw it out, I’ll bring you...

Could you bring her to us? Maybe even 5 years old. Even 10 years old will be better than ours. I eat...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №70805
 30.09.2012
She walked down the street with a friend, and two men approached her with an old "podcast":
Does your mother need a daughter-in-law?
My mother needs a husband... and where are you going?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70804
 30.09.2012
Do you eat salad with mayonnaise?
No, I don’t eat any mayonnaise.
Q: Do you carry anything?
I move, but not far away.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70803
 30.09.2012
I'm so strange in all the pictures.
YYY: In the meaning?
xxx is the same
No excitement or excitement :D
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70802
 30.09.2012
The position of a boss is an absolutely fatal opportunity to work 10 hours instead of 8. In my case it’s 14 instead of 12.
A. The legal possibility. Okay, the iPad has fixed it ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70801
 30.09.2012
He’s been so good lately... I love there... married, all the business...
Spraying
For this occasion, I will go off.)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70800
 30.09.2012
The court received a statement:
Judge of District Court N
Ivanov I. I
by Petrov V.
Statement of
Yesterday I was ordered to be summoned to court as an accused in a criminal case. Last year I was convicted of a similar crime. I ask the court to consider the case in my absence, because I do not want to sit anymore!

The judge walked out of the office laughing.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70799
 30.09.2012
vanderbasya: em, concert coa on September 30 in the Olympic
Vanderbasya: Lookout
Nika: What are you surprised?
Nika is alive.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70798
 30.09.2012
I took my nephew out of school today. I walk through the hallway between the offices looking for the right one. I hear a dialogue from the door:

Child: Maria Ivanovna, and we are 325 or 352 in mathematics?
Teacher: Em... I don’t remember... Well, I’ll remember you in contact with the skin.

Then I realized how old I was.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70797
 30.09.2012
I don't know how in Russia, but in Lithuania there are no macks in the macks, so that those in need of free wifi don't sit for a long time. And at home we had problems with the internet, we had to look for hotspots. We came to Mac, we found one rooster for the whole room. How victoriously the staff looked at us when we left with unloaded notes. And how they disappeared from their eyes this victory when the next day we came with a third :D

[ + 37 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70796
 30.09.2012
The freelance website:

The logo of the construction company must be drawn.
The three letters of the YIC and their decoding should be clearly visible:
Crimean engineering company.

c) Kirill

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70795
 30.09.2012
NM
I go to the electrical station. On the station, the voice of the aunt, recorded on the film, announces: “The next station is Opalicha.” There is a kind of coughing, coughing and, finally, from the breeders, a man whispers with a harsh voice: "Don't believe this lady! Next is myth!!” ? ? ? ?

(The name of the station “from the ceiling,” I don’t remember). and :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70794
 30.09.2012
High Voltage: and today on a boiled diet... I bought a boiled sausage and a boiled condensate %)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №70793
 30.09.2012
The first note of the son: "Not a cigarette. I’ve gotten a kidney"))

My brother next year is 30, and he still writes so :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70792
 30.09.2012
Comment on a 10-hour YouTube video: "Mom said I can watch another video before going to bed".

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №70791
 30.09.2012
Tag: worth trying
WOW: We need to write "by-probe" so that it looks even more fucking.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70790
 30.09.2012
I don’t understand why many husbands don’t like when their wives talk to their friends. The choice of friends should be correct. My go, will listen to a few hours of pulling their clowns on the topic "My like a goat" with details. He comes home, hugs me, sticks my nose in my shoulder and says, "Dear, I'm so lucky with you - I adore you!" And the effect is enough for a couple of weeks)))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70789
 30.09.2012
3 hours of night. I am on the internet, call.
Are you sleeping?
No, and what then?
I just didn’t want to wake you up when I got in, so I called.
Do you repeat what you said?? to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70788
 30.09.2012
By chance I learned from the tape that today is the day of the state flag. Suddenly I remembered this.
A few years ago, I participated in the ceremony of raising the big state flag. Very large, it was carried by a man 15. According to the script, it was supposed to be carried out, placed under the corner and hidden under it, while simultaneously making frictions with the holding hand - like the flag itself rolls.
This was done in the rehearsal. The organizer looked thoughtfully and said:
On the outside, 15 people hid under the flag and trembled vigorously.
Michael-Never

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №70787
 30.09.2012
We were from Prague, in the evening we went to the cult at U Fleku. There are three huge halls, tables in a row for 20-30 people. Almost all were occupied by the Germans. Between the tables walks a guy with a bagel and plays music on order. Whoever wants can give money. The Germans understandably chant their songs like Ales Juden Shisen Shisen a-ha-ha... The Bajanist approaches us, asking: Can you win on Victory Day? One: I do not understand. Here from the neighboring room comes his substitute - an old man. I am the same with him. He turned and looked at the Germans: Let’s do it! I think the Germans didn’t have a lot of trouble.)

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