bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №68246
 10.08.2012
A stupid woman looks after her husband, a wise woman looks after herself.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №68245
 10.08.2012
Semen: I understood how Moscow-Frankfurt aircraft fly like route taxis
Seeds: almost every 15 minutes
She is 😉 😉
Jan: Since the 45s, as usual))))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68244
 10.08.2012
I came out of the electric train to Moscow and I went to the end of the platform to cross the road. There is already a crowd from the front wagons and they are waiting for the electric car to leave to start crossing. The electric car goes away and the people rush forward as if they don’t have enough metro tickets. The first run three rural aunts with baulas (see or shopping or came to Moscow for food, there was already a restructuring). The electric car then left, and because of it, the electric car from Moscow is hit and brakes at its platform. The machinery driver does not bicycle as it still stops at the platform and the citizens run beyond its end.
Apparently the engineer barely calculated and the electric could jump through the platform. Then he pushed faster. A brake screw broke out. The aunt with the baulas at this time were between two rails. They turn to the sound and I imagine what they see: in a two-metre slope directly on them, a brake is carried.
Their actions: instantaneously squeeze hands, balls are shot and fall on the scales, they grab their arms, bend their knees standing and whisper louder than the brakes.
The electric car stopped a meter from them, as it was at the end of the platform. The machinery rushed out of the window and spoke to them in which the censorship words were only "Well what?" The three-storey mat of the machinery brought them back to consciousness. They picked up their balloons and rolling over the rails as quicks went on.
Since then I have a clear idea of what a baby-sitter is.

[ + 36 - ] [18 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68243
 10.08.2012
HHH
What is Autophyllation?

WOWU
I don’t know and I’m scared.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №68242
 10.08.2012
I sit in the office. Silence, coolness from the air conditioner, grace, in one word. The boss calls a cell phone:
Q: Yes I am listening. Good day. You should not go to the fucking!
He put the phone and calmly continues to cut into the cushion.
The employee’s voice:
Q: Could we be like that too?
S: Not a question. If you get a phone call from the bank, do that. I allow.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68241
 10.08.2012
Brother (B) trolls his sister (C) for a broken car:
(B) Hello sister, what do you do? bamper when do you come?
The first pension is obligatory.
(B) and the pension may also be due to disability, buhahaha ]:->
(Aha, what is it like)
(B) The car should have stopped then, not now)

[ + 33 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68240
 10.08.2012
From 5 to 12 years old, I studied in a violin class at the music school. This is how I wasted my childhood.
Because of a summer!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68239
 10.08.2012
The cleaner cleanses in the office, wipes the shelves:
You have almost no smoke.
The manager: I will order.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №68238
 10.08.2012
I tell you that the Russians are the most peace-loving people, though they are harsh.

Polyak: now

ILLUCHIN: Yes, what do you know? When I was young, we had a brigade of six people. All the uncles are healthy, in the shoulder of each, squeezed. When we came for the break, we drank tea and watched a non-colored telecast with one channel. Worked, by the way, 12 hours a night. Every day at 4 a.m. the old Soviet cartoons began to spin on this channel. So here... Six healthy men, smashed with dirt and resin quietly, without a word, examined these cartoons to the end, and also quietly went back to work... And every morning we tried to get the cartoons.

Polyak: Ubedil...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №68237
 10.08.2012
xxx: The boss usually phone from the meeting when he calls, I can't hear them.
xxx: bu-bu-bu, bu-bu coffee... fucking))
The main thing is that you have heard the keyword!
XX: It was good that it was one. but not as usual, the bu-bu-bu is the meaning of life, the bu-bu-bu Lakes, the bu-bu-bu coffee, the bu-bu-bu at 10 o’clock, the bu-bu-bu crocodiles-begomots.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №68236
 10.08.2012
Stop sitting at the computer, it is harmful.
Go for a walk with the guys in the yard. Pull up the body on the rails of construction cartridges, go into the transforming booth, on the transforming booth, run on the roofs and in the basements, hurry up with the boys from the neighboring courtyard, roll on the neurotechnical tarzanke from the fire hose over the slurry of technical water from the concrete factory near the railway pathways, shoot the explosive package and shoot the bomber, blow up the Corsar8 in a three-liter bank, leave the stones in the windows of the boiler, pick up the syringes and other things from the reverse side of the house, burn the pigeons from the concrete factory, hit the comrade with a shell on the face, buy a horn and shoot in a bomb, throw in the unity of car
Written by cat on glass FrimInc, 22.03.2012 at 16:33 am to answer.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68235
 10.08.2012
My wife is drunk, so she says: "Take a tail!"
Are you drinking too?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №68234
 10.08.2012
I went, somehow, to buy myself a new cloth, a scarf for eyelids... and bought an arbalet. I still think, was it a female logic, or was it at all?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №68233
 10.08.2012
I’m lucky with my parents... I don’t have to do anything. They think shit about me.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68232
 10.08.2012
Survey on site
You refer to yourself to:
a) 20% of the population
b) 80% of the population
And strangely enough, 65% of respondents consider themselves 20 percent.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №68231
 10.08.2012
I downloaded the audiobook yesterday. It is clear that the production is low-budget – there is no music flooring, of the special effects only the scroll of the chair under the ass of the reader.
But pleased me somewhere far away, in the background, the non-obsessive sound of the perforator with light trails, not pushing the brains)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №68230
 10.08.2012
News on the mail: found actor for the role of Yuri Gagarin
In the end, Mikhail Filipov was approved for the role of Sergey Korolev, but the 26-year-old Yaroslav Žalnin was recognized as the ideal Gagarin.
Comment: which, in turn, will be played by Sergey Bezrukov.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68229
 10.08.2012
So cool, I’m half the clock. Hobbits pass through the fever. Then they got out of Tom Bombadil’s house.

Dancheg Stels *ROFL*

bionet: the apasny cesta epta č č roš?

Dancheg Stels: Fuck, let me smoke ROFL too

Bionet: read Tolkien and put all the slides in the closet

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №68228
 10.08.2012
<Black_Devil>
I had the HD2 (I gave it to my wife when I bought the Sensation), then I bought the HTC Titan, and the Sensation gave it to my wife, now I have the HTC oneX, and the Titan gave it to my wife. I will give her nothing more! It has already lost the HTC Touch diamond, HD2, Sensation and Titan. And that’s not counting the fact that before that it lost the htc p3300, HTC Touch Viva, HTC HD Mini, and something else. I bought a Nokia 3310. I gave. I was offended.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №68227
 09.08.2012
Good morning to Andrey Alexandrovich.
Please give me the phone number of Eugene.
Thanks in advance!
Yyy: Roman Yaroslavovich, you are my, and which number do you want - internal or mobile?
I have a lot of respect for Andrey Alexandrovich!
I would call...
YYY: Please call 1111, you are ugly.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna