I watched the news with my wife:
The rover has to work 687 days – one Martian year.
A: Two years!
I am a year, wife. year. The year lasts 687 days.
W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-
I: Who are they? O_O

co6ak » cactus, when do we go to drink PMVI?
Cactus Jack: I do not consume alcohol.
co6ak » guy, get away from the keyboard and call the cactus

It is said that when we go to the women’s toilet, our cute ladies become themselves. They, like us, loudly release gases, mate, spit on the floor, spit their fingers in their noses, ring loudly, playing in the public, telling how and to whom they recently gave and scratching the place where they could have their eggs.

Truth is simple; lies are false; wisdom is silent.

Father told me yesterday...
It was this year in 1942-43. The Kursk Arka. Messiah is unusual. After all, countries are sending supplements. They sent from Siberia whom they could, a cousin of the father-in-law also got there, he was 55 years old at the time of the call. He never served, so he was immediately assigned to the grounds of the field kitchen, because the collective farmer, that is, knows how to manage horses. In short, he started delivering the slaughter to the front. The work is difficult but very responsible, because the hungry soldier is unable to fight. For a month he was under fire with the chef, not without delay, but try not to be late under the bombardment. In general, once he went on another flight, they that the kitchen had left. The drive to the front was thirty minutes. The soldiers wait for an hour, second, third. of worry. Call to Headquarters. They wavered and did not return. Three soldiers are sent along the route of the kitchen. After a while, the soldiers stumble upon the painting with oil. An elderly man (uncle of a father-in-law) smokes near the kitchen shot in several places. Nearby there are seven bodies in protective masquerades and another body of the cook. Soldiers in Houston. “Who did this?” and. The old man said calmly. “They!!!”(And of the weapons they had on two with the cook was one old three-line civil war). But there is one but. We are from Siberia, the uncle of the father of Burjat, a descendant hunter. White really got in the eye. And while with the cook on the front ride, the rifle from doing black shot. After that, he was transferred to snipers, arrived in Prague, where he was commissioned after his injury.

When someone else’s husband drops the last 1,000 rubles on champagne and petards, he’s a romantic man, when his own man is a thief.

They call themselves intelligentsia, but they learn poorly, they read nothing seriously, they do nothing exactly, they only talk about science, they understand little about art.

And this is not brainwashing, but Chekhov A.P. "Cherry garden"

new4or: Russians - Judging by the amount of silver taken by us at the Olympics, they clearly decided to fight impurity.

Ukrainians – judging by the amount of silver that took our own, we are unclean

According to the law, it is not allowed to sell alcohol at the stops of road transport.
We quickly found a solution – we stopped.

Prehistory: I bought a six-and-a-half year old jiggle. I drove for a couple of months and she began slowly pumping out the dune. Since it was lazy and greedy to repair, she stood in front of the windows for a year. Over the course of a year, the roofs, batteries, etc. have been suspended.

I put it in good hands and...

Dad goes into the kitchen and Mom does something.
Q: Aaaah... the car was stolen.
WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!! to

I just started living with my boyfriend. In the summer, the hot water was turned off, asked him to help me wash my head, my hair was then very long. I stand in the bath, naked, in the foam, he, when I ask, dries me with water from the pot and so carefully and very seriously looks. I couldn’t stand it, I said, “You, what, so you look at me strangely?” he replied with an unstoppable expression of the face, “You, this... you don’t wash the cloth!”

Dear brothers! It is already the beginning of August and everywhere a bunch of posts about the fact that the summer is gone and again it is wasted for someone, etc. Let us enjoy every minute of summer, and then every second of autumn and every snowflake of spring! And suddenly I wanted to say - dear men, thank you for having you with us, so different, unusual, funny in something, determined and strong, kind and responsive, gentle and caring! We appreciate you very much and we need you very much! I sincerely congratulate you all on another unforgettable day of our summer together with you!

Acceptance of papers at the university ended today. Dialogue between mother and son:

C: All, we did, the order on the site hangs.
Q: Do you not send letters?
C: No to Mom. Unfortunately, we did not go to Hogwarts.

The husband returned from the sanatorium, where he, among other procedures, had a prostate massage, and sadly so:
I am no longer a girl!

YouTube in “recommendations” advised a video called “The Reaction of Friends to Blinov’s words”. Duration is 1 hour 11 minutes. Scuco, I’m afraid to open it... =(

I lie with my husband.
Man: scratch the back.
I’m chewing, he’s melting: "oh haaa, oh well haoo, kaaaif, here’s the claahooo. Thank you very much."
Why don’t you say that during sex?
I am not saying, how? Thank you, will you catch it?! to

I saw yesterday. The City Surgeon. There is a concrete mixer. On her board is drawn a beautiful girl in the shape of a builder, only in the most sexy version. Next to the inscription "With me says"))

I remembered the Olympics.
4 years ago, at the end of April, I got to the hospital with a very difficult fracture.And I myself am a powerlifter, 18 years old, then I was.A couple of days later, a 17-year-old guy, a fighter, with multiple cracks in the vertebrae, is lying in my room.Well, a week later, a 19-year-old footballer with a rupture in the meniscus was settled with us.And all injured during training.
Monday, morning, treatment, the chief trauma doctor leads students, shows various injuries and asks students their opinion.
GV: And here we have fallen hopes for a successful performance at the Olympics...

Now you need to specially enter the error query to find the right video.

I’m in the car with my friends. Playing in Europe+
Friend-Alternative: Boys, you can have Linkin Park playing there in front of you, of course, but I have a fucking fuck here behind me.