The falling tree turned the cat sitting under it from a cute babysitter to a wicked hunter.

In Japan, in 1964, the world’s first sperm bank was created, and recently the Japanese abandoned the traditional way of donating sperm by donors (banner, porn magazine, sharma). The donor is now assisted by a specially trained assistant. The Chinese borrowed the idea and put it on the stream. Chinese sperm is twice as cheap as Japanese.
See also: Capec
I am really curious how I can work on such a job.

There are some basic female instincts.

I don't believe that none of them sat down and did not help orally (and scream through the whole hall from the brigadier's "CHEES NOT EAT!!!and "

I remembered a story from my student life. It was 7 years ago. We just drank beer near the politech and sat down with a bomb, well, like waiting for the bottles to be released... well, and we discussed some mystical, exorcist film, like Constantine. The bomber entered into the conversation. He turned out to be a theologian with two superiors.

AM: I’ve had two states lately: either I’m sleeping, or I’m dissatisfied with not sleeping!

Ryuchishe: I decided to go to my hometown school here a few days ago, see former teachers and so on.
I see two five-year-olds sitting on a bench, and they say to each other, “You know what’s the worst thing?” That I am sober, unbarred and in school!"
Ryuchishe: O_o

The real case.
The young man was detained for installing Microsoft's non-licensed software, it would be nothing - but they just asked him to install Win7 and other progi in the police office!!! and :)
He himself came, he himself established, well, he received for his work 600 rubles, and then he was bound... for the damage of about 130 thousand rubles.
Intel Inside, Idiot Outside!! to

The Melancholy Wake:
Recently I decided – you need to change something in your quiet, measured life. We need new impressions. Now I go home on the other side of the street.

Children, remember, "coffee" and "whisky" are "he".
"It" is a shit and the Ministry of Education.

How can a child born with the name Chaplin be called Vsevolod???? c) The Twitter

aqwertya: encountered a topic where they discuss their painful experiences
aqwertya: compare all kinds of births, accidents, kidney stones, tooth pain, burns in detail
A shorter shit everywhere.
Here is the man grit.
aqwertya: "It’s crazy pain not to drink beer in the evening."

Paradox: The more beautiful a girl, the less chances of a simple female happiness.
YYY: and the scary is not at all =D

From the forum about Skyrim.
Near Solityude I killed a dragon. While examining his body, I stumbled upon very strange things. In the remains of the reptile I found a note from the mission that I completed shortly after my release (I am now much older). There was also a full set of leather armor and a weak magical sword. When I watched all these things, a newbie I remembered!

These were the things I threw out on the street of the village while performing the main task. This means that during my adventures on Skyrim, a dragon raided the village and ate the one who picked up my stuff. Then the same dragon flew through the map and was killed by me.
It took about 2 months (50 hours of real time), but fate brought me back with these things again. I think they deserve to be preserved.

I sit with a girl tonight.

She: Did you know that in Belarus the death penalty is allowed?
Hm... I didn’t know.
She: I think that’s wrong. Criminals don’t realize their fault if they just die... I think that mental torture should be used so that people slowly go mad and don’t understand what’s happening to them... They suffered.

She: “Look in my blind eyes...” Mr. ^ ^ ^

From Yandex News:
Pirates in Somalia attacked a military ship, taking it for a dry cargo
You are Epic File, Epic File.

xxx: We at work in the toilet periodically lie "on the bottom", then scraps, then coins... I think where and how.
Yyy: The coins were thrown there to come back again.
xxx: And scraps - because someone quickly ate secret documents with scraps.

To tomorrow, you hear, tomorrow, my flash was with me!! to
What is a magical word?
FUS RO DAH, fuck it!

The important question is when you ask it and then, fucking, say hello.

xxx: can not interfere with cognac and girls in a ratio of 1 to 1.
Yyy: Type 65 kg girls and 65 liters of cognac?

He: Yesterday we went to "Phantom"
What’s good about this movie?
He: the stunning views of desolate Moscow, when everything is abandoned, falling planes lie down.
She: Well, yes, a man who spent three hours in Moscow to find a exchange, where he is exchanged for hryvnia, and then wanted to throw a neutron bomb on the city - such pictures will bring pleasure.

and Dad! How did your Olympic victory begin?
First, the cigarettes went off.
by Owl4D