"... there is a light for the deaf-deaf (which whispers disgustingly before switching to red)."

For the blind, an idiot.

In our country, the leader of the party can be a person who is not a member of it.

History of History

The great Russian physiologist Ilya Mechnikov worked in France for a long time, studying various diseases. In Paris, he accidentally insulted a French aristocrat. He decided to learn the Russian knight, calling him to a duel.
The second came straight to the Laboratory of Mechnikov.
No excuses are accepted, the duel will take place anyway.
The French scientist. According to the rules, for those who are called to
Duel, the right to choose weapons. Which will you choose?
- Well, - I shrugged the shoulders of the Swordsmen, - I choose a bacteriological.
The weapon. Here are two glasses of liquids. He showed the capacity a little.
The Frenchman. They are externally no different from each other.
But in one - clean drinking water; in the other - water with bacteria
The Siberian ulcer. Your Count is free to drink any of these glasses, and I will drink.
The remaining.
A second silently turned away.

Such a goat is still to be sought, but I am a wise man, I found it.

Stop to endure it!
Let us enjoy it.
Party of Masochists.

Boston, Christmas is approaching. Everyone decorates the houses, the children hang their socks at the fireplace so that Santa Claus makes the gifts. Under the tree the children put a letter to Santa. My friend is an English woman, married to our friend.
A colleague with two children moved from home to condo. I called the newcomer.
I go to the bathroom, oh! Her characteristic red socks hang over the toilet.
I am a type of o_o, what are you doing?
xxx: She says, children after moving inspected a new place, the fireplace was not found, socks hanging nowhere, Santa Claus in the pipe did not go. There were tears and disturbance.
xxx: Well, she was not before she just broke up the boxes, sent the children to the daddy for explanations.
xxx: Papik - Russo programmatic, somewhat immoral, also did not evaporate and told the children that Santa Claus is not proud, can use ventilation or, at the bad end, the sewerage pipe, if the other did not turn.
XXX: This genius did not think about the windows doors.
Poor children went...and hung their socks around the toilet.
YYY: Poor children...
XXX: Give it up! Gathered a tree. Under the tree the children put a note to Santa Claus. In the note! The attention!
xxx: "Dear Santa Claus, forgive me, but we have a grid in the air. We really feel very sorry. So, if you still decide to go to us through the toilet, close our gifts in a package!!!and "

Every time I skip school, I hear a voice inside: How much can a fool be driven? Time to take your head. But every time I’m in school, I hear my inner voice acknowledge my mistake and ask forgiveness for misleading me.

We sit at work with a colleague, play a counter on the network (well, there is no job, even if you are crazy). His game begins to push hard: then it turns and does not unfold, then it begins to flash on the screen - in general, it behaves extremely inadequately. The friend attempts to overcome the illness by pressing the appropriate key combinations: alt+tab, ctrl+alt+del, etc. Suddenly, the computer with a methly, unknowing voice gives out: "The time has come! Decepticons, mobilization!" It turns out, in the trio was twisted kmplayer with the second part of the transformers. And we barely believed in the revolt of cars in the face of nearby organic technology :)

Natalia
My mother told me yesterday that she was sick. I drank ink for the printer, thought wine, and the ink was blue.

by Vladimir
and?

Natalia
So he’s all, from foot to toe now blue, and the whole hospital is now going to the avatar to see.

by Vladimir
)))))))))))

Natalia
They said it would be like this for a few months now.

I is:
I was driving on the right wheel.
II is:
The young man who
I is:
On the left :D
I is:
A car overtakes me.
I is:
And the haishneks shrinked.
II is:
Did you think you were driving?
I is:
and :D
I is:
I ask: Where is the driving?
I is:
Yes, out of the man.
II is:
I would say, what kind of driving? I have wheels.
II is:
A man, give him the driver.
I is:
They asked, “Who’s the pedals?”
I is:
I: and the pedals behind.
II is:
GG

I asked a friend to wake up in the morning. I hear the bell and see the cat sitting next to me. I thought the cat would open the door and fall asleep. As a result I slept and texted "I will not wake you anymore for half an hour standing under the door"

XXX: Yesterday the cake made delicious
Are you a cake?
Man, you are a man.
You should boast that you haven’t washed for a week.
yyy: and yesterday opened a beer box with an eye and sealed with it a kilo of frozen peelings =)

xxx: the lotto is good, but when I recently lost the rubbish withdrawal by the end of this year at 6 am every day, in case of a missing I must definitely go to the mail and argue why I didn’t send my porn discs, I както loved it ))

I was called a botan 4 years ago in school with contempt for saying the word “blending” in a conversation and knowing its meaning. You are talking about education reform.

He lived and worked for some time in Japan, where if visitors come, then in the best case, the tea is poured. Coming to me for guests, I invite them to pour tea and I understand...Mlyn, not in Russian all this. I put everything in the refrigerator. A minute later, the table broke from food, like the eyes of the Japanese comrades.
Japanese: “In shock” what is all this?
I: I smile, Russia, my generous soul!
Return the Japanese!
Yes, take it, I’m not sorry.
A colleague (also from Russia): *I am in Russian* You, the Tsar’s Mord, are scattering Russian lands!

XXX is oh. The NTV broadcast was the favourite of Ally.
I lost the account there jumping she had in her youth

You didn’t know the shell.

xxx: not
I thought she had her husband Orbakaykin's father and all.

YYYY :
She had a reception commission for the Soviet station in her bed.

The Known:
How to disable subtitles in a movie?
I: Video / Subtitle track / disable.
and aa! And we covered them with a book all the time.

ihaveabomb: If a mobile operator connects me to the service without my knowledge, I will come to them in the office and hang out at the door. And I’ll come every month, arguing that I signed them for this service, and they didn’t refuse.

From laughter could only say: "Dima, not with verbs written separately"

Our teachers think that "need" is a verb. What do you want from children?? to

I wonder how many readers know what a predictive is? And also, how does a person offer to explain to a small child what the linguists do not agree on? They are all smart steel.

The son came to me, the helmet.
He asked with grief:
Classmates, father – what is it?
What a website,
Where the grey people,
with real hand,
Drowned in the wasteland?
Where there is a path to betrayal,
The purpose is clear and the means.
Where they want to return
In Brisbane’s childhood?
Where is their peace broken?
Where do they spend the nights?
This is a website –
Explain to me, Father?"
I brought my son to me.
He said with grief:
"The FSB Database
This is what we are!