bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №58966
 21.01.2012
Call to McDougall:
Hi you McDonald.
I would like to know what toys you have.
It is you again...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №58965
 21.01.2012
Judging by the silence with regard to ugga this year, all the guys who trolled them last year, in this they themselves go.)))

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58964
 21.01.2012
of the wind. The website:
"Hello my cat 2 years not castrated eat any public houses for cats do not want to castrate?"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №58963
 21.01.2012
I want a full sandwich. with fresh bread, with wheat, with cucumbers, with a salad leaf
I want to bite him with all my strength.
I feel the chloroplast crush on my teeth.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №58962
 21.01.2012
I asked my daughter to buy me a magazine "Caravan of Stories" in the kiosk. I am standing next to myself on the phone talking, I see the kioskerch and aunt in line laughing, the child is in confusion. To my question, what is the case, I get the answer: Magazine "Bloody Stories" we have not yet)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №58961
 21.01.2012
One Japanese boy has been the world record for the duration of masturbation since 2008 – almost 10 hours in a row.
10 hours is empty. This was when I learned that my young neighbor Julia was actually not a nurse, but a teacher, and had to urgently rework everything again.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №58960
 21.01.2012
Will I rape and kill? Are you afraid? )
I am from the factory r.
I have been murdering and raping since I was six years old.

[ + 125 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58959
 21.01.2012
As we all watched the star clock, the jungle... loved to play in the street in the Cossacks robbery

And we walked as you did not dream - the fires, on which the pads of the chairs melted and the pants broken, the drive home for the skirniak, and the crown "I will not go home, but will be driven away."
Who else remembers that?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №58958
 21.01.2012
"Cybersex addiction is an obsessive attraction to porn sites and cybersex".

Oh how! We are not some kind of drunkards there. We are cybersexualists.

[ + 36 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58957
 21.01.2012
Human cloning is forbidden, because then there is a chance that Chuck Norris and his clone can simultaneously strike each other with their legs. Physicists believe this will lead to the destruction of the universe.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №58956
 21.01.2012
xxx (17:29:54 19/01/2012)
Some girls can’t eat chicken, it will be an act of cannibalism on their part.
yyy (17:32:24 19/01/2012)
Some have already talked about it.)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №58955
 21.01.2012
Do you know why you can’t sleep in lenses?
Man: No why?
Girl: Because you are out.
Man :??!! to
Girl: Well remember how many times the girl said to you, “No, I can’t stay, I didn’t take the lens container...”
Man: I didn’t have girls with lenses.
Girl: Maybe I slept in them...I’ll take note)
Man: You probably didn’t know you were out.
Girl: They are sleeping well.
What else is a container? Are they radioactive?
Where to put the lenses in the liquid.
Couldn’t it be in a glass?
Man: You can get out.
Girl : No. Not in a human way, lenses in glasses... The glass is a place for the jaw!
Man: Well here is the phrase "Sorry. I can’t stay... I forgot the glass for my jaw...", I’t just be upset.
Girl: Mmm... Per this phrase is better for a note.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №58954
 21.01.2012
Boroda: One winter near Kostroma, our artillery division moved to the field to carry out firefighters. As always, on time and on account. They quickly masqueraded the equipment, long-range detectives fell into surveillance. The watch was conditional – they stood up 400 meters away from us, also disguised. The team went to battle, guns were placed on a combat basis, time went to adjust communication and reports of readiness. SOB (senior officer of the battery)on the communication: "Angara-Angara!, I-Angara-1, how do you hear?" in the helmet crash, swing. There is no answer. "Angara and Angara! I-Angara-1 How do you hear? Through the noise, as if from the Goppa of the world, the answer:..ngara1, I hear you badly!... In general, this change was repeated another 2-3 times. Time for counting is coming. Here, the SOB did not withstand and gave the command to fight and smoke: not to go away from the cars, to cast, to smoke, not to sit on the armor in the frost. I was screamed from the neighboring armor-Boroda-see -link- and the finger on the spy-radio telephonists pointed out. I looked in the panorama of the Connecticut - in a winter hat, bound to the blind, and above it the helmet on the back of the head is bound...I hear you bad-o-o!)))

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №58953
 21.01.2012
They asked:
You are a smart man, right?
Eat a little, and what?
Q: Have you seen a laundry powder advertisement where a responsible aunt says he’s cleaning off spots, and even those that she didn’t see?
I’ve seen something like that...
Oh, so explain to me, how did she know there were spots if the super powder wiped them off and she didn’t see them?

We answered:
He told her about the spots.

PS ^ Kids, don’t joke with the powder..It can lead to unexplained consequences.
Cat is

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №58952
 21.01.2012
If you want to inherit history, remember what your children may have to clean up after you.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №58951
 21.01.2012
I don’t have a cat, neither do my neighbors. Therefore, the fisherman let all the small fish go home. But ten days ago at work, on the sidewalk, where I encountered the car, an illusion appeared - a purple, smoky with angel eyes. She feeds on what the guards will bring (and don’t carry very much, say), plus, she has taken on actively exterminating the mouse population in the district. So I had an opportunity to pick up a small fish from the lake. What I did successfully on Sunday. And on Monday, he brought three pieces to the doorway, leaving the rest in his refrigerator at the company.
The fish did not give the cat any special attention. She did not write circles around, did not mourn exhausted, losing consciousness from the smell - smelled and left.
I ate it on the day we left the area.

On Tuesday, having taken three more pieces, he went back to the passage. The cat was sitting on the spot where I put her fish yesterday. But not alone. There was a mouse nearby. When I saw the fish, the cat was alive. As I realized, she decided to offer me a natural exchange by advertising her product. The hat of the mouse!(the cat signaled a raised pipe tail, instead of a thumb), meat - low-calorie! (This can be judged by the cat itself.) Dietary winter mouse, bear! Why is she me?
After completing the procedure with passes, I went to the car. The cat, catching the mouse, rushed after me and sat at the door, showing in all sight: and the mouse how??? I had to go out and pick up a veto. Naturally, at the first turn, the mouse flew into the snow.
Yesterday, the cat was sitting with the second mouse, today, the third has already flown. If things go at such a pace, you don’t have to dig up the mice and order a mantle or a hat from their hats.)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №58950
 21.01.2012
Chief psychiatrist reads the news in the newspaper: "Galkine married
Pugacheva, “Two gay men from the UK adopted a Ukrainian boy”
“The president dances ‘American fight’, ‘Strings are deadly dangerous for women’, ‘Tomatoes kill potency’.
I will write them all out tomorrow! They are healthy!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №58949
 21.01.2012
[13:32:39] Yulia N: When I entered my apartment on the fields
[13:32:49] Yulia N: the first room
[13:33:25] Yulia N: I was told by the girls that they got married from this room. The girl married and left.
Yulia N: Then I moved to another room, where my neighbor settled.
[13:33:53] Yulia N: So her journey is all about marriage.
[13:33:57] Yulia N: Question
Yulia N: Who amused me?! to

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №58948
 21.01.2012
XXX is
The platonic love of food is yes.
In my childhood, when I wanted peelings and didn’t, I painted them.

XXX is
by Tusk

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №58947
 21.01.2012
I was looking for a single-port IP video server.
I found it on the internet shop website. I call!
I: "Say the question on the product item No. 1234, is it possible to connect the microphone?"
He: "Well, we do not have such information"
I: "So it does not exist?and "
He: "Yes, there is this thing, but we have no idea what a box is and for what purpose".

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