Guys, there are situations... You are called by a friend with whom you communicated from first class. First love, first sex, graduation, marriage, all lived with her. And this fool is so called, telling how in her 23 met the first, the strange. Tired of T. This is the fifteenth time...This is the dialogue with her:
And he is?
And you are?
You are...
I’m waiting for you on the same balcony, at the same time) I want to meet you!

I started smoking when I saw an advertisement on a pack of cigarettes that smoking is good for health.
Where do you drink?? to
Well, on the package it is written: "Smokers die young, therefore, they last a long time."

Pedophilia recognized as sexual orientation

Q: What about the small?

I told her that I hated the fools... she thought about it and quietly replied, “You’re recalling your ex too often.”
Navy

I sit at home, in Barcelona, drink tea. He spilled a part on his knee, hurt, well, he ran out in Russian. I look up, and my neighbor’s sugar. For a long time I wondered how sugar will help me from burns and spots.

and c*ka is azucar – sugar. It is a polite language :)

XXX - What do you need?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: has been
YYY: Did you make a mistake?

I meet the same aunt every day when I go to work in the same place, no matter what time I go.
YYY: Listen, you talk to her, maybe she needs to get a quotation.

The whole life passes by you.
You will come back one day from the universe, and your friend is already 99 lvl.

xxx: Almost the same story was in our store... a little boy came with a fucking mommy behind the note. Selling the brains for half a day. I bought a note there. After a day, both come in hysteria and panic - like you sold us shit, return the money to compensate for the damage. The guys dug up with the notebook - really the notebook stopped, everything flew, mistakes gave, hangs.... ask her (mama) - what did you do with the notebook? Through the screams her response became clear - only on the Internet as if they were digged. I went into the browser, watched histories, and there were porn sites and classmates! Then they were sent to the Nakhu, with a pair of caspers. Before leaving her mother told her not to allow such a mess. To which she replied that the note was bought precisely for the purposes of the sexual upbringing of her little drunkard! and demanded a list of porn sites where there are no viruses!!!))))))))))))

I sit with a girlfriend behind the compass, answering congratulations on the occasion of the engagement
I’ll go to the couch, don’t you mind?
Go, of course, I don’t need you anymore.
O O O O!! to

XXX is cold.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: A pain to health
yyy: tea, teraflu, chlorophyllipt, soda with salt, inhaler - I did not weakly pump the level in this case
XXX: I am making my own bowl with boiling water.
Shit, it’s hard to drink.

I heard that today there will be no salary and I realized that not in vain today no hero did!

In the anti-piracy department there is a pirate window.

I sit down sad. I ticked my navel - it became a bit of fun.

I am very demanding of myself. It is a pity that it is terribly not executed.

Mixing of Genres
The Black Sea coast of the Caucasus. A narrow mountain road. In front of the car that violated the rules, the inspector of enormous growth comes out majestically with a ruthless rod in his hand.
The captain, thirty years old, does not express anything good in his face. To meet him out of the car comes a man with a disarming radiant smile and a familiar face to pain.
The captain gave honor, presented himself monotonously and:
Driver, you violated the traffic rules.
Overcoming the prohibiting sign “three to twenty” in the zone. yours
Driving license please.
The driver smiled further:
“Earth, you didn’t recognize me!? to
The Captain:
- No, but when you give me your driver's license and we make
Protokoll, then I will begin to recognize you.
The Driver:
Why are you so strict? I am a Russian folk artist. I have broken, I admit.
But you understand, my colleague and I rush to the airport to meet the actress. The Cinema
We’re in your beautiful places, you know.
The Captain:
What is incomprehensible? Of course, I understand that you are making movies and that you are in a hurry.
I will try to fill out the protocol with all the
the possible speed. Please have a driving license.
The Driver:
Brother, have you not recognized me yet?
The captain looked closer:
No, I don't know, please have a driver's license and a license
of registration.
The driver is noticeably annoyed, but still not shutting off the smile from his face:
You are what? Look carefully, you have grown on my children since childhood.
“Equipage”, “Favourite Woman of Mechanic Gavrilov”
The captain is in the same icy tone:
"I'm very sorry, but I didn't watch, I was personally raised - "Terminator" and
“Robot Police,” and that’s why I need your driver’s license
Certificate...

The President made a visit to an internat for children with mental developmental delays. Teachers were urgently evacuated. Instead, the President was met by activists of the "Our" movement with balls and multi-colored flags.

The president did not notice the replacement.

But it was noticed by teachers and staff at the university - "We didn't have such idiots!"

How much coal should I drink?
I am 1 tab. = 10 kg weight of body)
Favorite: fucking one drink is enough?
I: Do you weigh 10 kg? 6 to drink. Now throw and drink.
My favourite drink 4)
I: You are letting yourself.)

I want sushi (
I or the pizza!! to
It is delicious!!! to
I am very!!! to
Husband, as a normal pregnant woman, can you eat cucumbers?? to

I don’t like alcohol, I like what it does to me.