XXX is quick. You go out in the street and you are raped and caught. No matter what...

Thanks to translators, American cinema doesn’t seem as stupid as it really is.

A friend's neighbor married a German and persisted in Doechland. They live not longing, but the historic homeland draws times, parents to visit, friends to see...
One day they gathered with their family and came. A husband has never been to Russia, neither a bath nor vodka-harmony-sous is known to him. My friend is a sociable man, always friends with his neighbors, a house in the village has its own with a bathroom, a river, a vineyard... In general, they took the German into circulation on a full program.
The evening of another turnaround day.
A frightened German, wrapped in a slum, eating fat with onions, begins a dialogue:

Colya, I think the Russian wife is the finest wife in the world!
and Varum?
- Here's the German wife to you, you're to her (shows your fist
Boom-boom, she calls right away: “Hello, police officer?” and Yeh bin
The prison, the jail, the a-ai...
And the Russian wife has you, you have her, you have her, you have her, she has you.
GAV-GAV is GAV! You are her bum bum bum, she is you bum bum bum. You lie in the corridor with consciousness, awakened - covered with a blanket, where you fell. He is a policeman, he is a prison... The Russian wife is the most luxurious wife in the world!

The man leaves the parking lot, and puts a note: "Place not to occupy, I will pierce the tires!" Comes back - in his place, an asphalting catch, next to the silo and a note: "Success!“”

A man calls on an advertisement for the sale of puppies with a Chinese chopper.
Well, sometimes the heat is not so connected.
Hi to you.
Hi to you.
I need a naked Chinese girl with a luxurious griya. Do you have?
- (for a few seconds - the grave silence, then the scream) You that, oh... li, we have a sauna here, not a bordel!!! (They are throwing the phone)

Hello, everything is as agreed. Tomorrow at 6:30 in the morning?
Sharland: Hi, yes, at 6:30, I will go to the Leningrad district.
Charland: Sorry, do you still have 15 or 20 balls? I don’t remember exactly what we met.
Coffee by 20! How will I recognize you?
6:30 in the morning, at the entrance of the Leningrad district department, I will bring you 20 balloons.
KOHBEEP: Yes, it has already been clarified. So how do I know?
The Charleston:??...
I will be in a black jacket.
OK, until tomorrow!

All this time we burned all the bridges of our relationships, but did not take into account the fact that we know how to swim.

Healthy banners on the streets: "To a new quality of life! President of the Republic of Kazakhstan".
My question is "What about us?and "

Discussions about HOMM VI:
...
When the animation accelerates, the sounds of the units accelerate. No, I don’t argue funny when Cyclops cries like a little girl, but somehow it’s not epic...

I am going to Yuri urgently.
The motives of the offenders are not fully known, but experts suggest that the sperm hunters were guided by ritual purposes. There is a common stereotype in African society that sperm can not only give life by fertilizing the egg, but also bring good luck in business. Demand for sperm from witches and superstitious citizens is so great that it is even profitable to send it for export. For example, in the neighboring South African Republic, you can earn $ 400 for a condom filled with male seeds. How could this help Russian men in the current difficult economic situation?

andquot;

Yesterday with my wife finally broke up, filed for divorce :( I was not wrong?
Did you stumble on a member and hit your head on an egg? Where will you find another aunt who will tolerate your obscene character?
Yule, don’t go, I realized I was hot.
Chewbacks, just like a bowl at the moment!! to
I understood everything, went to apologize and take the statement, thank you.
burn: * ceased to scratch the tail* seeds sharper, scratch

Alexey Melchakov: The child brought home a piece of swabry and convinces everyone that it is a special stick for the jujitsu.
Nikita Trynkin: A piece of swab can be convinced.

Learn the Russian!
Stay: Are you at home now? Can you find my shirt?
Marvin Why? Also warm
I want to look at him and die.
Marvin: O_o

Advertising on TV. Well who, fuck them, told them that bacteria can be seen in ultraviolet!?!? And also their reproduction!! to

What did the bacteria do in the toilet?! to
I was stuck in ultraviolet...

To understand and forgive shit.

by Ratio

I had two poodles. I lost the first one when I was 11, when I showed it to friends and it was lost somewhere during the game. And the second broke at 13 - it broke down when I dropped her from the balcony of the 7th floor onto the cover of the lounge - the pen broke off and the giraffe itself broke... :(

And remember Zadornov read the number about so guys giraffe from the balcony heracled by drunkenness - thought the luck will strike or not???)))) They did not find out, but the collective unconscious did the experiment.

Dipnosofist (dipnosophist) is a person who learns in the process of solemn conversation.
Kakistocracy is the rule of the worst. Anthony of Aristocracy.
Mataeotechny - useless and / or unprofitable skill.
To lant - to pour beer with urine for the fortress.
Tagged: am
You described Russia in four words.

Discussion of social networks
4 million Chinese people upload an average of 60 million photos a day

The commentary:
Why are there so many identical photos? O_O

Why doesn’t Max go to the universe?
HH: He is an idiot. When he entered, he wrote a lip certificate of some illness in order to get rid of the army. So no, now he is called by the military committee and it turns out that with this diagnosis he cannot study in the universe. You can serve in the army.1 is now understood.
Mother of Russia.

Subject: You need to change the date, and access is closed.
I: Try it through the bios, how does it look?
Subject: I will send the print screen.
What is BIOS?
Subject: yes and what?
Oh no, send me it 😉

- The feeling that in our office works a pair of other transvestites, who go to the women's toilet and systematically suck the chair, with such a taste that I did not dream of.
Are they fighting for equality?