bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147845
 04.01.2018
There is always something borrowed in the world. Words in language, traditions and mythical characters, scientific achievements and culinary recipes. To get hysterical because of a porebrik, Santa Claus or a borsche not in the hall is just stupid. Save for the inviolability of the canons - for health, in your family, and do not educate other children! It is like an anecdote:

“Mommy, Petya said you lied about the stomach, in fact, the children get out of the leaf!
"Well, Petya may be from the lick, and you from the stomach, here I have a scar from Caesarean.


[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №147844
 04.01.2018
Leonov: Right before the New Year, my favorite four-legged friend, the couch, fell ill. I shrugged my hands and praised the doctor’s couch with a loop and a screwdriver. During the treatment process, balls, long-forgotten toys and lost cartridges were removed from the couch to the Nerf pistols. The master smiled and told how a month ago, right in the heart of the client's couch, in the space between the back and the mattress, found a not-to-play Makarov pistol. The owner grabbed his hair - he was expelled from the forces a year ago for the loss of tabular weapons. Here is the same. And the whole year the man slept badly, expecting someone to be killed from his gun and the story will get a continuation. And now what should I do with him? he asked the masters, shrugged his hand and went to the store.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147843
 04.01.2018
I sold bitcoins.

Your guy with $$.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №147842
 04.01.2018
I cut a tree and fought a cat because of the rain.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №147841
 04.01.2018
XXX: 2 January I went for mushrooms today. They still grow.
YYY: After using the previous ones?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147840
 03.01.2018
You know, I would like to rest for a month or two.
YYY: Who’t want it?
Nietzsche: In 40 years, we will all die and no longer have to work
XX: I plan to live longer. After 70 life just begins.
Yyy: No, I think it's a utopia, I give you somewhere 67, and I generally 63
Xxx: No, at least 100k
YYY: Do you have so much time?
XXX: I'll play all the remains in the third heroes
yyy: )))) has convinced me

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №147839
 03.01.2018
Lies are harmful

What about the fact that the child simply needs to learn to distinguish between things like truth/exaggeration/fantasy/actor play/hypothesis/trick/trolling/manipulation/sophism/misch? And learn an adequate response for each of these cases?

That then he would not spell with the foam in his mouth, that "in the movie all lies are not so!"and "in the news said - that is, the truth!".

If you deprive him of such innocent reality assessment trainers, like Santa Claus, tooth fairy and magical fairy tales, then we get a world divider in black and white.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №147838
 03.01.2018
The very moment when you are an adult person, you came on winter vacation with your child to his grandmother and grandfather. And you want to show your parents, and your child, all the pieces of Harry Potter during all the days of the holiday. No, not from an empty place, but you wandered all your youth upon him.
When he sees the cup of fire, he asks
Where is the ring?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №147837
 03.01.2018
Discussions of irresponsible pirotechnic lovers:
- I watched a bunch of drunkarders launch a salute in the courtyard of the house, which is virtually a well, and also a 17-storey. He went to someone’s balcony. Glad it was closed there.
- There is a great proposal: the next year to buy these crazy salutes, and immediately after 12 to go out with them on the top common balcony and hirt down, in those creatures that in the yard they are launched, their dumb dull heads and body parts is not a pity at all.
- "And the people of the Upper World were shaken in battle with the people of the Lower World..."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №147836
 03.01.2018
Strange people who consider children emotionally underdeveloped idiots. Why are they to you?
Boy, you won’t believe it! No one is born with the emotional sphere of an adult. I’ll tell you more, children, for example, at a certain age can’t separate aggression from love! Because a strong feeling overwhelming the child. Therefore, they bite from the excess of feelings. And belief in a miracle is a necessary stage in the formation of a small child. It is obvious that at eight years old it is already strange to believe in this, but at five - it is quite normal. At this age, the wind is alive, the trees talk, and the toys revive at night. By the way, they say that if you kill (complicated, but possible) faith in a miracle in this period, then with future creativity you can also say goodbye. No discoveries, a complete pedantry "from now to now".

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №147835
 03.01.2018
vitus_wagner: After seeing on RBC the message in large letters "Your ad blocking interferes with the normal operation of our site", I imagined a poster over the tranches of the First World War:

Your camouflage shape interferes with the normal operation of our snipers.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147834
 03.01.2018
to obey. How do you call this cat?
Death, Hunger, Pest, War and Mr. Butt.
– You gave the cats names in honor of the apocalyptic horsemen... post...Mr. Ussy?! to
There are only four horsemen.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №147833
 03.01.2018
Any lie is harmful to the brain, whether it be Santa Claus or mythical universal justice.

I always knew that lessons of literature, social sciences and history are harmful to the brain!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №147832
 03.01.2018
HGH: You understand
I haven’t had a cat for a long time.
Will we suddenly not like each other?
We want to live together!
HH: And it will be a serious long-term relationship.
I will have to stop looking after other cats.
Do you think I am ready for such a big step?
What if I start to think the other cat is better?
XH: Or is this the usual mandrage before "day X"?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №147831
 03.01.2018

A woman was struck with a tail on the head during a feast in Moscow. The incident occurred in an apartment on Plekhanov Street.

As the victim herself said, a blow from her fellow resident she received suddenly in the New Year’s toast.

The woman is conscious. Police and medical personnel arrived at the scene of the incident. The woman refused hospitalization, citing the fact that she had to take care of two cats.

The man was arrested".

It is our way. Get a tail on the head, but caring for the cat is first.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №147830
 03.01.2018
Yesterday at the New Year's tree, the father unfolds a mysterious gift (a plane ticket) - Olya wrapped it in several multi-colored clusters to extend the suspense, everyone is worried, after the third clustering and before the fourth, the father polite and questioning looks at the donor:
The Bitcoin?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №147829
 03.01.2018
Ckazal načalnice, čto ona ošblac ʙ pacipcaanii, tkkk as in this year is not 29 febpaľa. How is NET? “Wouldn’t she be so shy?” she said.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №147828
 03.01.2018
In order for poor people not to ask for help from rich people, God was invented.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №147827
 03.01.2018
Why do MPs get a salary of 800 thousand if they claim that you can easily live for 7 thousand rubles?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №147826
 03.01.2018
This day, in one day, I knew that I was a father, my son married, my wife bepeemenna, and they would go, so that I could help them with what we did in the bepeemennoti.

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