bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №54684
 10.10.2011
We sit on a pair and hear a helicopter flying past, a purely sincere voice from the last party "Carlson, are you back?"

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54683
 10.10.2011
Two Führers is already a democracy.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54682
 10.10.2011
The World Boxing Championship in Baku has just ended. This primacy was no different from other international modern sports events – with the public whispering the anthems of foreign countries and wild hatred for foreign athletes.
And I remembered another, long-standing, even under socialism, world championship in boxing, which took place in Moscow. One of the first battles was engaged by an Englishman.
In general, the English are the originators of modern boxing, but this sport at that time completely vanished in the UK, and its representatives have long not been on the top stage of the piedestal. And this Englishman was considered an outsider, but the Moscow public immediately began to sympathize with him (although the relationship with Britain at the time was even worse than it is now) for the very spectacular, uncompromising manner of fighting. But he had one peculiar disadvantage – he shouted “hop!” at every hit. The rules did not welcome this, and the judge periodically made remarks to him.
The Englishman silenced for a while, but then again took the old. Then the reporter gave him an official warning. In the event of a second warning, the boxer would be disqualified, and there was nothing left but to keep the tongue behind the teeth. But apparently, forced silence was unusual to him, his technique completely disrupted, and he began to lose.
And then the audience decided to support this guy, and at each of his strikes in tens of thousands of voices shouted "hop!!!". He transformed and won the battle.
The public so accompanied his chief until the final battle with the singing "hop!". And he became a world champion – which the English did not do before or after a long time.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54681
 10.10.2011
Kudrin was fired for refusing to serve as finance minister in the future government of current President Medvedev, whom the current Prime Minister Putin, who will be elected president in 2012, firmly promised to appoint as prime minister.
There has never been such confidence in tomorrow in Russia.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №54680
 10.10.2011
The Stupid_Bot
I am lying down, the cat is lying on me. Mother enters the room. My cat and I turn our heads at the same time.
I am MEU!
Mother: Brushed
The Cat: Meu
You also shave.
Me and the cat at the same time.
Mother: Yeah you
I came out xD

[ + 60 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54679
 10.10.2011
Another example of the imperfection of the world:
people who live on the first floor and most suffer from: alarms, noisy companies, lovers of loud car music, loud noises and owners of weak bladder - there is not even a possibility to throw anything on the violators of calm :(

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №54678
 10.10.2011
XXX: Hello to you. And what, Mishana moved to your department?
YYY: How do you know?
XXX: Well, he now has the status "Ten new prostitutes are better than the old two"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №54677
 10.10.2011
She: I said, not below the belt!
He: But it’s still far from the belt.
She: My belt begins under my breasts!

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54676
 10.10.2011
From the Dating Site:

Residents of mr. and Orenburg!You will be bad news after you die you will be in the city of Orenburg!


[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №54675
 10.10.2011
A great repair on top. Thro the day they collect the sliced plaster from the floor with sovkova spots. It is as if a huge cat is scratching and scratching, scratching and scratching all day!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №54674
 10.10.2011
xxx:How to distinguish a student living in a communal from the one who lives at home?
Yyy: For those who live in the house of pelmeni, it is a delight that is eaten once every six months.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №54673
 10.10.2011
If all girls were as compatible as Java.
2: And as mysterious as C++...
In fact, they are all as stupid as an assembler :)
Assembler Ohuenen (Nobody Needs It)

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №54672
 10.10.2011
I work in a taxi. Sitting a girl (d) with a guy (p) on a light positive.
I: Good night! Go to Office 79?
Q: Yes, the third entry
Apartment of 74
P: bedroom - you enter through the room to the right.
Then you ask me why I am cheating on you.
I drove in silence.)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54671
 10.10.2011
Do you have cancer with anti-Semitism?
I am a roller coaster. I am friends with people who may consider themselves great shamans, elves, orcs, or guests from Alpha Centauri. How do I deal with anti-Semitism? 😉

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №54670
 10.10.2011
I always have an ironic smile on my face.
Yyy: They told you not to wash your face in super glue.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №54669
 10.10.2011
A woman is a man’s crazy friend.
She: Are you so subtly hinting that I need to fuck in the bowl?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54668
 10.10.2011
Your son is a cynical bastard!
What is?! to
Let’s sit down and talk to the girls. I tell him, there are no ugly girls. Do you know what he replied? "They are being shot?"! to
and XD
I will do educational work...

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №54667
 10.10.2011
Aska is becoming more and more like a telecome:
There are more than 200 people online and no one to talk to. and :(

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №54666
 10.10.2011
What can be more intimate than sex?
<...>
Her look at you when you are asleep... so unarmed, untouched, uncontrollable...
Oh well, even if the man sleeps unpainted

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54665
 10.10.2011
- Scooters on the road... not what shit, they don't even consider shit. They go around, but I am not.

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