bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №54884
 14.10.2011
XXX(00:18:56): I will go pop to shower

UUU(00:19:53): It is possible without any details)

XX(00:20:32): Well I didn’t say that I’m going to wash more.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54883
 14.10.2011
Yesterday I was taking a lesson in the 11th grade, telling the Bolshevik program of action for the preparation of the October Revolution. The whole class is writing hard... And here one girl in full seriousness asks: “Are you teaching us how to make a revolution?”" I thought... And then another student says to her: “Well, the next lesson is chemistry, there the explosives will be taught to do!”" Then I carefully asked: “And you don’t have a lot of it today?”" We still have an interesting school program...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №54882
 14.10.2011
The epic file is when in two months you learn from the neighbors that there is hot water, just in the summer you closed the stand and forgot about it.

Epic file in this case is when it is, but tomorrow it is turned off for a month.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №54881
 14.10.2011
Debate on the deficit in the USSR
There were times... Memory in our row for milk, the grandmother biddon killed the man... he gave it on the head, and all...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №54880
 14.10.2011
We discuss the client:
XXX: His name is good.
XXX: Something Middle Between Whiskey and Baccarat
YYY: Agah Viscardi Kolovich
XXX is 😉
XXX: Viscardi by Soldom Kolovich))
YYY: gsgg

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №54879
 14.10.2011
10:00 GVladimir Opening 2GIS. There’s advertising "Nuddy? Click here"
I pressed. "Scientology " The PF was delighted!

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №54878
 14.10.2011
Who wants to make good money?

Description of

The exhibition in the art gallery requires a person who will sleep in the exhibition hall from 10.00 to 21.00.

Working conditions - 6 days a week (week-to-month)

Double bed, fresh
white underwear, pyjamas, sleeping pills (strictly after consultation with a doctor).

The Requirements:
Husband/wife from 16 to 25 years
Good health is the desire to rest well and at the same time earn money.

We promise that we will not sell our sleeping in a private collection for anything =)

[ + 80 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54877
 14.10.2011
Comments on Comics.
I remembered the fairy tale about students who, while drunk, decided to squeeze the pasta for a snack. Cooked in the tea. The teak was poured, boiled and poured into it a decent portion of flour products. They left the very drunk to watch the process (probably because he could not move), and they went somewhere. Coming after some time, the friends-students who announced opened up this picture: on the floor, breaking up, a tea tree boils, from the tea tree rolls a thick mass that was once pasta, next to the tea tree sits an absolutely untouchable frame, left to follow the pasta, knocks on the tea tree with an empty beer bottle and says:
But don’t cook!

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №54876
 13.10.2011
Gerrito: the female godmother hugs the head of the faithful
Shusen: The female man bites his wallet after the wedding.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №54875
 13.10.2011
petrovich: Judging by the magnets on the refrigerator, I was in Kiev, St. Petersburg, Tunisia and then once was in Karlsberg and Doctor Diesel...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №54874
 13.10.2011
xxx:there is my dad, for example, still listen to music on cassettes in the car and says: I have your discs on the x...yu twisted...)))How to say the taste of color)))
Yyy: You have a sharp file, because you have to turn fast.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №54873
 13.10.2011
The most ordinary hammer has one not protocoled, but truly unique and mystical property. With the help of it in the universe you can for a few moments "disconnect" all sound and light. Unfortunately, after the light and sound return, the finger will hurt for a long time.

[ + 55 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54872
 13.10.2011
I thought, what would happen if Neo had eaten two pills at once?

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54871
 13.10.2011
Coming home from the hospital:
M: Look, if you get a fever in the evening and your mood gets worse, don’t scream at me, okay?
(with a sincere misunderstanding in the voice) Why? O_O

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №54870
 13.10.2011
Lex: Diman told me: he goes on the street at night, he wants to smoke, and the infection lighter doesn’t work. Well he approaches two charming girls and asks to smoke. Next dialogue - hi-hi, and how did you guess what we can do? You have a cigarette in your hand.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №54869
 13.10.2011
I am deeply convinced: there is no need for higher mathematics in school. Moreover, higher mathematics kills creativity, said Fursenko.

David Gilbert (1862-1943) was asked about one of his former students.
Oh this one? I remembered Gilbert. He became a poet. Mathematics at
He had too little imagination.
(The book "Physics jokes")

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54868
 13.10.2011
XXX: Have you heard it? Man has genes of bones for the penis, and sensitive thighs!
gol: but the creator cautiously commented on them so far.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №54867
 13.10.2011
Hemul (23:36:22 12/10/2011)
Okay, peace :-) I slept in pairs, today I dream that everyone laughs, let's roast too, I woke up from this, everyone looks, including the teacher, and I am like a fool.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №54866
 13.10.2011
G KI can’t get a stamp at the patent department.
A.s : Why?
G KHead of the patent department for 70 years.
A.s : And what?
G Kand today!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №54865
 13.10.2011
My mother is a primary school teacher. From the task to sign the picture - variants of the word "orange":
1) Orthodoxy
2) Arak the Mutant
3) the Aragutant
and Arangamutang
5) The Orthodox
c) the orange

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