bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №44684
 19.03.2011
I want a family. Tired of everything. I want to marry
Come on, take the tanna.
me: and who will I not tell - all, shit, rjut, type "ahahaahaah, you and get married? That fucking? You are still a child"
Bro: and Hule
Me: I am about it.
Should children not get married? You already have 24.
me: and they start with me "so this is a responsible business, there must be care"
Brother of Ahahah. Take care of the hamster. My wife will find food for her.
me: fucking, my tamogoi lasted for 3 months - I am the embodiment of care!

[ + 119 - ] Comment quote №44683
 19.03.2011
We have a new admin-only after the universe, the eyelids are barely growing.

The first call to the accounting office, the headmaster (aunt for a half-hour) quarrels with someone on the phone, and here comes he...

What happened, who to repair?
What are you going to do, milk?
Do you need to repair the computer or suck out the milk?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44682
 19.03.2011
I work as an administrator and information protection engineer in the clinic. Now I change the painting film in the fax in the accounting office, I look at it in the light and see the letters of the printed documents. I am showing a (g) laugh.
I: As an information protection engineer, I have to...
Q: to eat it?

[ + 92 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44681
 19.03.2011
A real case from the life of my friend taxi driver, with his words:
I am called for another order, I come to this address, and there are 3 girls aged 18-20, sitting in my car. They say we go through the store, we want to get stuck... on the way to the store, I understand that I want to get stuck very hard! As soon as they go to the store, the girls go out and go to the store, I immediately break away from the place and a couple of circles around the store and in this very wild pear, I get rid of the sick! The sounds were very wild and unimaginable, 10 minutes... I rushed back to the store, I got out of the car, I stood smoking, I think I swallowed with a drill to ventilate a taxi, I went off, I smoked and here two girls-clients came out of the store and approached the car. We sit in the car, and here I ask "and what the third is not driving??" to what I sucked from the rear seat behind the driver a gentle voice "and I didn’t go anywhere and did not go out.........." o_O!?!?!?! to

[ + 65 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44680
 19.03.2011
Men, in the courtyard of spring, hormones play, judging by requests to take into sexual slavery. Do not hesitate, get to meet the girls in the subway / electric buses / on the street. They really suffer from a lack of sex!)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №44679
 19.03.2011
The lecturer now:
You’re twice as many at lectures today as you were at lectures on Monday.
And thoughtfully continues.
That says about my observation.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №44678
 19.03.2011
We go on a ride, we go on a ride =)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: No okay, we went!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44677
 19.03.2011
On one of the forums noticed one job in which the organization is looking for an illustrator designer. The following are the requirements, and even below the conditions:
The Interview
Testing task
The trial period
Official registration after the test period
Excellent working team
Excellent library of books on design, advertising, etc. (There is even a collection of Esquire magazines for several years)
Sandwiches for breakfast.
In good weather, you can go to the roof and sunbath.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №44676
 19.03.2011
Katze North: Well, the crap, the shit, the humorists...
Katze North: I wonder how to understand the inscription "made three years before the date indicated on the packaging"??? to

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №44675
 19.03.2011
Sister and mother discuss something fiercely. At the same time, the sister listened to Bach. and pretending. When you listen to your mother, it adds the sound of the music. When the mother is no longer heard, the mother cries:
Do you think I’m not going to scream? I scream!!! to
It is filled with a terrible cough. I am going to find out all liver order. Mom responds with a chilling voice... not even a voice, a whisper like: "not screaming."
P.S I put my voice in for a few days.)
YY: Fear the Great Bach

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №44674
 19.03.2011
Mother: Why did you come home today without a bowl? Have you fought with girls?! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №44673
 18.03.2011
The program "The burden" on the first channel of the zombies delighted us with the fact that in Russia begins a new, third phase of liberalization of punishments for economic crimes of businessmen. President Medvedev, explaining the essence of what is happening, began with the expression “Our criminal policy...”
Imho is better not to say.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №44672
 18.03.2011
A case in the office: the secretary constantly glued the envelopes, not with a special barrel, but like an old man, from the tongue. Several months have been observed for this specific procedure of business mail outreach. The director got tired and he once, passing by all this show, didn’t mean to throw: "Olečka! Do you know how many calories you get by licking one envelope??" The secretary then for a few months still feared even the fingers to slip while shearing the paper))

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №44671
 18.03.2011
From Forum
I accidentally found a site of forensic experts, there they post photos of bodies and guess each other: "Why did this man die?" I want to die, I don’t want to be guessed"

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №44670
 18.03.2011
Fuck, you don’t lead a girl into a male classroom, and you don’t say, “Lord, how can you, here’s a lady!” – so why are you embarrassed by smokers in the smoking room?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №44669
 18.03.2011
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
XXX: 5 minutes and 16 seconds
Are you watching porn?

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №44668
 18.03.2011
Natasha: My grandmother told me that for cucumbers to be large they should be planted by a man at the time of standing=)))
Rover: Mda...the number in the shop of rootshones more)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №44667
 18.03.2011
From the Journal of Defense:
...
Explanation to the PR manager of the basics of work with 7zip;
Install the WinRar PR Manager. The reason is untrained employee.
...

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №44666
 18.03.2011
Why do you love waves so rarely?
B. Because it’s a really quiet product.
and.. M is!! to
The cellular structure of a waffle of squares is a multi-dimensional mass.
A few more layers, smells of SQL tables – you hear?
On the waffles that I eat, on one layer almost always 256 cubes - cells on both sides.
4 layers - 1024 bits. What could be sweeter than a multi-dimensional table filled with all kinds of tastes?
B. In short, it’s pure cakes, you don’t understand.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №44665
 18.03.2011
C mail questions:

What does " throw the stick " mean? I don’t understand... Does that mean playing a lottery? Please explain!

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