bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148485
 25.01.2018
XXX is friends! We share with you a set of lectures read by J.S. Gambarov in the walls of the Moscow University in 1897-1898. The course covers the general part of civil law.
Darkforce: Thank you very much for sharing) very relevant. Do you have the same information from the 16th century? preferably by law. I just want to fly tomorrow in my time car to Kozelsk, to represent the interests of the baron, who bought from the unclean merchant two merins, and they exhaled. I want to prepare for the burden.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148484
 25.01.2018
If you love people, you are a philanthropist; if you count on reciprocity, you are a foolish philanthropist.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148483
 25.01.2018
Observation from...
The daughter in the morning brilliantly reports to the son-in-law, for coming late from the corporate with a heavy drink and with traces of mask on the shirt. At this time, the grandson came to ask for a walk on the street with the boys. Mother sharply sews him off, tell him to go from here not to you. The overwhelmed grandson goes aside, sits on a child's chair and loudly says: the father is a drunkard and a rapist, the mother is a hysterical...! to
There is no scene... The daughter has lost the gift of speech. In the end, we and our grandson are expelled to the street, and the son-in-law gets a temporary pause, to come up with versions...
Upon returning from the walk in the house hanged silently lead, but the peace...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148482
 25.01.2018
Yesterday I was called from school and said, “Your son is constantly lying.”
I replied, “Tell him he’s doing well, I don’t have a son.”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148481
 25.01.2018
Sometimes I say to myself "Stop talking to yourself".

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №148480
 25.01.2018
So still simple.

Thick Fox: Wire Optimization Service Increases 95% of Noot Performance
Fat Fox: I think, or is that not exactly what an optimization service should do?

It optimizes the work of _SYSTEMS_... No one counted on the work of users.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148479
 25.01.2018
I stumbled... I wanted to open a calendar on my phone, and he demanded access to geolocation... I’m not ready... I’ll remove it from the whales.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148478
 25.01.2018
Q: What kind of ideology do you see in Terminator, Titanic, Avatar?

“Listen, in Terminator I, a huge terrible man with a German accent wants to kill Sarah!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148477
 25.01.2018
Our organization is large and mainly female. Among the few men there is a kind of Misha, very polite and diplomatic in personal communication, but unrestricted in off-site assessment of both people and situations. Misha performs control and verification functions, and his favourite "sheep foolish!", characterizing a colleague who sent by mail the next "curve" report, is regularly distributed across the office. The female colleagues sitting in the same office are silent.
But recently, a young and modern Anetka was placed in the office, impregnated with ideas of feminism. Her characteristic Mishin shout came abruptly unlikely, and after the next "tuporous sheep" she took a firm step to Mishin's table and began to report to the guy, saying, "you don't call men so, and all this is misogyny" and so on. Misha responded guiltyly and fully agreed that it was not good to say so. In the middle of Anetchkin’s speech, Misha receives another report on the mail, this time from a male colleague. Misha, continuing to sneeze, looks into the report, grumbles, cries "Baran stupid!" and breaks the phone:
Vladimir Nikolaevich, where did you get this information? We talked this morning...
Annie stared confused at Misha. The female colleagues sitting in the same office are silent.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148476
 25.01.2018
<Love> Are there literate musicians here?
<Vachhthnang Kturkhubidze> Yes, I am.
<Love> Would I ask otherwise, there are literate MUSICAL MEN here?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148475
 25.01.2018
I’ve baked the cake here according to the new recipe, so don’t touch it until Daddy comes.

Let’s try it first.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148474
 25.01.2018
In Moscow will build a new paid road for 50 billion rubles

Is it a day or night rate?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148473
 24.01.2018
The universe. 5 to 9 floors each.
The call:
Congratulations, you have won the free service of plastic windows. How many windows do you have?
You called the university. Come and see... P-P-P

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148472
 24.01.2018
I have the same problem.

Yes, it’s your "pleasant appetite" incredibly angry. You sit in the dining room at work, eat lunch, don't touch anyone, and every person who meets you will surely express this wonderful wish. And you are sitting with your mouth full, and you don’t know how to react to this grumpy “polite” behavior. To one you sneeze, to the other, to the third, like a Chinese swallow. Let them eat normally.

These idiots say hello in the morning. Respond to everyone, hold your hands. They borrowed!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148471
 24.01.2018
by GM. By kind of work I communicate with large, often disadvantaged families. When you ask what you would like – every child said – I want to be alone in the family! "And when you start to divorce about care and mutual help, a mother-in-law... one boy said to me "do not pour. I will find friends who I like. And these – I don’t like them, they rotting and looking, they bite, and I answer, because the elderly?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148470
 24.01.2018
If a person has committed a crime, then everything - should hang a stamp on himself and not dare to turn into "normal" people? How can you live peacefully, if at any moment you can be ticked “Oh, you’re what you’re doing!” without taking into account the fact that all this situation happened ten years ago and that the person really realized, repented and never “dirty” himself again?

Depending on what you were convicted of, my other. If for the fight "wall on the wall" with bodily injury - one thing. If it’s for a fifth shot, it’s another matter. If you have raped somebody on the "list" or in another similar situation... don’t fill that "repented". With such comrades most women and themselves will be warned to stay alone, and all acquaintances will be warned; suddenly you will think again that this one is also self-hostel?! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148469
 24.01.2018
The Grisons

For six years in the cage lived a rat of the Husky breed (that they also have breeds and the name Stubzeno from dogs, that I understand). quite large, if taken in length with the tail, then from the fingers to the elbow about. During the day, I ran around the apartment. The sweetest and smartest creature, responding to the name, resorted. When I tried to hurt, I could not understand the team well. The only thing is to try to squeeze all the edible around the corners.There are no cockroaches left in the house.

That’s what I’m talking about, you’re talking about rats. There are quite home options.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148468
 24.01.2018
XXX is AHA. The predecessor weighed 250 kg, and this aluminum engine was 200, which is 40-50% lighter.
What do you say about this... lol
zzz: In the journal of ariHmetics is not a profile subject! So they can.
TTT: Yes, there were iron kilograms, and this is aluminum!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148467
 24.01.2018
Where without them

>-> and consisting of antimatter.

by el acordeón:

Jews are in the anti-world. Going along the anti-street, turned into the anti-street,
enters the antidote, climbs the anti-staircase, approaches the anti-door,
Calling the anti-call.
Antisemitism opens the door.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148466
 24.01.2018
Pure visually... Well, I react sharply to long straight dark hair and long, thin fingers. If the boy is still thin on the verge of exhaustion, then it is a straight vaaaau. A chest with the edges is mandatory.
At the same time, my girlfriend is pulled from the low and thick, straight like a cloak. And one more - only the clusters of the classic silhouette prefer to press with cubes and pop - nuts.
It’s good that we are all different than you. I’ve never quarrelled about a man. :)

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