bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149485
 04.03.2018
xxx: Yesterday, on Tuesday, a young organism walked under the windows "IGAAA! I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!and "
And what’s funny – it doesn’t matter if he’s screaming Vicky or Igor.
XXX: He is still pudding.

[ + 36 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149484
 04.03.2018
>>> > >>> why are all the non-violent offended by the term "trusted"? In fact, they are not predators at all, but rather fallers.

By the same logic, vegans are rotten-eaters. Is it not?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149483
 04.03.2018
Baroness and slave - the letters are the same, and what is the difference?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №149482
 04.03.2018
I go with a taxi driver.
No is. He did not listen to Mikhailov. Not an expert in politics.
A normal, decently dressed man (63 years old), with a very clean, literate speech. The old Moscovite.
Polite and so on.
He says:
I have to congratulate my granddaughter. Three years today.
We talked to him and we talked to his mother.
He said he brought a daughter to give birth. The doctors dropped in the corridor.
The hour passed. The second is coming.
I tell the doctors to help. She is bad. You understand the banquet. Nothing, they say. will wait. Her time has not yet come.
A good birthplace. the regional.
I say it is already blue. You will kill my child. And my granddaughter. Go away citizen. Everyone was born, she was not the first. We will soon start. And they do not start. I have a higher education. I act politely, according to the rules. And they do not hear. But you know, I have three more paths. A total of 15 years. And I gave myself a promise when I went out the last time that I would never go back into the past. But it seems time has come. I included everything I knew from there. He spoke in a language he tried to forget. About what I will do with them, how and where they will collect spare parts from themselves. You know, it worked. They rose from the table and went to give birth. Why can’t we talk to people like people? They just don’t listen to you. When you become a beast, everything happens.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149481
 04.03.2018
Nuclear missile "Sizran" will turn any city of the United States into Sizran.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149480
 04.03.2018
"I love" the hassle-shaped skin. Just came one such, arranged a natural hysteria with mat and whisper because of the fact that she was not allowed to see the hall (workout room) in street shoes, hit the coach, stumbled in spite of the protests of the administration and visitors, inherited... And then said that the hall was “hatefully dirty” pointing to her own tracks and not suitable for her.
Oh how we were upset, lol.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149479
 04.03.2018
Kernelll: Imagine for the prostate that N = 1.
AndyMan: "What is prostate? What is it?"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149478
 04.03.2018
How damaging you are with your feminists! When do you realize that the category "species" is not identical with gender in language? In German, the word maedchen (girl) is of the middle kind! And in Russian, why are you not offended by the word "collega"? It is common! Fu Fu Fu, invent a colleague immediately! And the men should be insulted, it must be a "collega", for example, or a "collega", so that the eggs are clearly pointed out.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149477
 04.03.2018
XXX: Let me put it all together now, and you optimize?
YYY: So you take your suitcase and I take you?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149476
 04.03.2018
He started for health, ended for rest:

Sexism, feminism... You better tell why among the popular masses such a disregard for beautiful girls with small breasts? "Board", "flat" - Well how can you call these gentle fairies so! I adore you girls! The cow has it, and the cow has it.

Well, you like ladies with small breasts, why humiliate thorns? Your compliment after that is somewhat unpleasant.
The first size lady.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149475
 04.03.2018
What happens if the Torah strips his hand with his hammer?

War without endings.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149474
 04.03.2018
Commentary from the group of sound directors in VK:
A ten-year history teaching. The man "the most pathetic in the city" opens up. Choose a device. Rider and the Evening Jazz Band. We counted him 1.5 to 2 lamas. As a result, the becher and jbl tr 125 columns were purchased. But history is not about that. The story of the white piano. The task is set: find me a white piano in the cabbage. Yamaha has fallen. They found a factory in the Czech Republic making white piano on order. We agreed on price and delivery. The guys are on the start, waiting for the advance to start work. The employer is giving away! He found a robbed office piano that had been rotten for 30 years in the basement of the music school. His driver applauded him and painted a car emal from a balloon. The royal is ready! I saw the tears of the adjuster as he tried to adjust that Frankenstein! The curtain!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149473
 03.03.2018
Elon Musk, who is it?
He is an engineer!
Just like our Vasca?
– No, Vaska is a senior engineer!

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №149472
 03.03.2018
This is the modern equality. The most economical option for women is this: a man works, holds himself and bears half of the total expenses (quarter pay, mortgage, etc.). The woman works,ins herself and children, carries half of the total expenses and fully serves her children and husband in the household. This is the minimum for a woman not to be considered a confinement. If the husband, for example, at least some participation takes in the care of common children ("helps") - it is already "content", children - female and only female care, otherwise why gave birth? Cooking-washing-washing - of course, also female, otherwise why married out? Sitting on the neck? If you can’t even cope with your female affairs – three buttons on the washing machine, multivarker and vacuum cleaner, you’ll think, a big deal – what are you, chicken, equal? And in general, in a good way, it would be good to take the general expenses on yourself, and even better - to maintain your husband, because men are so difficult, they are demanding too much from them, they are so tired of being strong, and you are strong with us if you claim equality?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149471
 03.03.2018
Bees are not against honey. But the bees are imitated by the color of flies - and they are loudly whispering on the Internet. Poet Akhmatova once had to carry nonsense - even if there was the Internet at her time, she was busy with poetry. A woman aspiring to generals, too, is not up to the word-work is enough. Not to mention scientists, engineers and existing philologists. And feminists, who are busy saving victims of domestic violence, are seeking that girls in Muslim countries stop tormenting and marrying for decades, open charitable schools, centers where the wife can hide from the man who turned out to be a manic husband with children - never to torture their words or touch the shoulder of Vanderwomen. And the fact that the creators of neologisms call themselves feminists – so in these of your internets you can call yourself even the Pope of Rome.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149470
 03.03.2018
The cynicism of doctors knows no boundaries. A friend who works as a gynecologist asked her to repair her computer at work. The dress issued at the entrance to the office was supposed to raise some suspicion, because as soon as I sat behind the car, the doctor, without hesitation, called the patient to the appointment. She, seeing the dress on me, quietly sat down in a chair, which, infected, was spread straight to the table. Moreover, it did not confuse even the punctually red rod, which is not so contrasting with the same scratched coat. In short, if it wasn’t for lunch, I’t have left there at all.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149469
 03.03.2018
Haber, discussing how to correctly pronounce "Bitcoin and Android"

I am for compliance with the rules. Accordingly, for Bitcoin and Android.
Yesterday they came for the points in the “e”, and we were silent. Today, they are taking the hole of the “y” in Bitcoin. Tomorrow they will come for the stick in the “e”, and who will come for us?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149468
 03.03.2018
The most ridiculous thing is that people who demand tolerance behave the opposite.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149467
 03.03.2018
Q: 1C is purchased from us and periodically troubleshoot.
Q: The correct error

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149466
 03.03.2018
At the stage Solzhenitsyn asks Varlam Shalamov:
Why is the barracks violet?
Because you have already been on this link, ahah!"

Nimianna: For the first time I see the form of the cry "ahah". What does it mean?

Icuken: Sound emitted by air coming out of the lungs through a knife wound.
Because no one can joke about Solzhenitsyn.

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