I watched the filmmaker "Siberian screwdriver" Mikhalkov on Sunday evening.
Monday morning at 7 a.m. will be faithful because my alarm woke her up and I didn’t. I successfully fall asleep for another 15 minutes (and in those 15 minutes I dream that I am referred to Siberia for 10 years) I wake up from the push of a loved one, thinking that I still have to go to the link. In the head of the most complete pofigism and recognition of this fact as due. I ask in the emptiness: " what to do that hope"
On what female responds: "Go to work dumb"

I’ve never been to work on Monday.)

From Chat:
When my mother was asked: why your son did not go to the police, my mother replied - I raised a decent person))))) the face of mint should be seen))

<xxx> opened the window
<xxx> heard a crazy scream from a fighting couple "YES THAT YOU WILL HAVE ONLY FOR TRANS!!and "
<xxx> closed the window

We go to a friend at the country, 2m2d, we have fun all over, all in anticipation of further blue and sex, and a friend is already unobtrusively beginning to talk to his king, among other things offering to walk to the sauna, which at that time, here are the wonders, just arrived. A friend’s response:
Go to your bathroom. We also fight.)

The Russian GLONASS system, despite all the efforts of the government, has never become a worthy competitor to the American GPS. To somehow support domestic manufacturers, First Deputy Prime Minister Sergei Ivanov said that from January 1, 2012 on GPS equipment can be imposed prohibitive duties.

We go to the store with a friend, looking for a bread department. In the end, we see that around him is a pretty cute girl with a pretty big bust.
When a friend sees the bread on the machine, he says:
Oh the bats!
Knowing what happened, he added:
I am not your girl.
The whole shop.

I went to the girl for a visit. I watched the picture as her sister (15 years old) smoothed jeans. It would be nothing, but she was in a hurry and smoothed them on herself.

to the story of a thoughtful maryage, meeting his kindergarten daughter with a matte and quite rough, when she repeats:

and UGU. At first, there is such a thing next to the child with a suga and beer and a mat shakes... and we are surprised - and that this new generation is such a fool, at the first opportunity for chicken and alcohol is taken and a mat shakes? No, they are not stupid children. The parents in the mirror are observed throughout their lives. Even the Neanderthals knew that it is to the parents of the child strives to be similar, you are their example. So, if in a couple of three years you will get sick from spondylitis know - you "worthy" participated in his upbringing. Three times respect.

From chalodniy

There is no dispute about tastes: who likes chips and who likes chips.

June to the Scholarship
When in the early 70s Erast Pavlovich Garin put in the theatre-studio of the film actor the performance "Gone from Madness", all students of VGIK ran to watch rehearsals. Garin was a very kind and responsive man and the young people loved him.
When the students started making noise at the rehearsal, he turned to them and said, raising his finger to the ceiling:
Keep quiet, my students! We do art anyway.
One day, under some celebration, the everlasting rehearsals needed a rubber. No one has the scholarship, no one has the money. I want to walk.
And they went to Garina’s home, to the Dentistry Square. They knock on the door, Erast Pavlovich opens in a messy hollow.
What about you guys? He asks.
- Erast Pavlovich, can you subsidize a tenth to the scholarship? – is
Prayer for the Black Panther.
Garin, looking at the students, demandingly shouts to his wife:
“Hesya, again the students came... Fifteen rubles are asked.
- Erast Pavlovich, we only - ten, - embarrassedly corrects the meter
The Black Panther.
Shut up, the sleepers! The wicked whisper breaks him out Garin. Five for me.
It is necessary!

You know, she is such... such...
What kind of one?
I saw her, and in her pants it immediately became tight.
In front or behind?

alenka: Please tell me, I have already filed an application in the ZAGS with a guy. Can I file another application with another guy? Wouldn’t it appear in his award that I have already submitted a statement?
Nix52: And so I sent a statement from the EGE to the universities, if they are not taken to one faculty, maybe not thrown out from the other.
Guest: alenka, better apply for a reception to Goodwin, let him give a brain and a heart

From Google+

Dmítrij Ačkásov: I dreamed that I drank vodka and clung to the grandmothers. My head hurt like a real one in the morning. What Do?
Eric Cox: Imagine drinking a bottle of beer and fighting. I need to help)

X: What kind of questions he asks. "What do you want from our communication?"
Y: That’s what I’m going to answer him? ? After the first date.
X: Write
X: The Sex
X: The Meat
X: The Eckers
x and bread
y: Imagine: a naive guy slightly in love, but uncertain of himself with full seriousness writes to a girl saying what do you want from communicating with me? And sitting there is such an affliction like this shake or everything! Or nothing! And it’s nervous, and then the answer comes – meat and eggs!!! and ROFL

From an MMO game
You know, I’m really fat, scary, and I don’t have a front tooth.
YYY: It is well. And I am acne, I wear glasses, and I have a sparkling voice.
XXX: Go down here!! to

The video is called "How to remove a cat from smoking". They show how the cat is unsuccessfully trying to pick up a cigarette.
The stones:
How to teach a cat to smoke?
Do you need it?
Not everyone has a cat to go out and smoke on the balcony.

In one company, the manager worked a girl with a simple Russian name Hell. And one of the clients of the firm was a night club with the sound name "Armageddon". And here one day the director of this club for some of his affairs called the firm, where the girl of Hell worked, and there was between them about this dialogue:
This is the director of Armageddon.
This is the manager of hell.

From one forum:

"The Message of Warnaulbarabin »
The author of the post offered paid porn. Paid porn is not welcome. and (- :
The author is punished with a ban for not taking care of his neighbors.
The Moderator"

Maroz: If a girl can’t cut the bread with her vagina, then she’s a dumb shit.
Qwe: and if a girl can cut bread with her vagina, it is better to stay away from her.

In our landmark museum, someone laid the letter "A" on the landmark.