We are so often thrown away that we are constantly on the takeoff.

The acquaintance once got into the shutdown - gave the client ten thousand dollars, and he "forgot" to sign up for payment and said later that he did not receive any money at the time. The bank accepted the client’s side and demanded that the girl immediately repay the shortage. Such grandmothers she then never dreamed of - a minor single mother with a red diploma. The good administration of the bank went to meet her embarrassing grievances – gave the girl a loan for all this mind-blowing amount, not forgetting to add interest. What is called, hold in your hands and give it to the box office, and the payment then, for ten years. The next day, after the full repayment of the shortage, a guy in love with her approached the girl and handed her another $ 15,000. The black circles under his eyes were even brighter that day. As he explained, the difficult client managed to love a deal, waving the Criminal Code and a couple of pictures. And all this thanks to a new computer software that significantly increases the resolution of the images of the surveillance camera. On one of the blurry frames after the processing, it was clearly visible how the client pulls a pack of dollars from the stand, and on the next, this package was already hanging on the way to his pocket. The girl's happiness could not be described, her reputation in the bank was restored. But the long-term loan she did not think to repay – said it was compensation for moral damage.
The amount left in her hands was soon enough for a small two-bedroom apartment in an old foundation, with raised ceilings - judging by this striking fact, this story happened in the 99th or the 2000s. Years later it became clear that the wonderful computer program was called the little-known word photoshop at the time.

The leadership of the country should be entrusted to proctologists. It will also be done through the ass, but at least professionally.

Sergey: I also searched for symptoms of my illness on the Internet... so I have, it turns out, monthly (

His wife has a diploma in image processing.
The section "handmade way of creating anaglyphs" has been removed due to the "unscientific sound". It was necessary to write "a semi-automatic way to create anaglyphs using image processing tools"
And I thought that the joke about the influence of moonlight on the rails, or the scientific effect of dispersed non-monochromatic radiation in the range of low-intensity wavelengths on carbon marks of steel, is just a joke.

Your chest has fallen.
A small loss.

I recently had my hip biceps at the most inappropriate moment - during sex. I thought it was an orgasm :D

Dialogue by phone:

Hi, you can’t let go.
XHH: Where is my spirit?
See also: Home
Q: Where is my case?
See also: Home
Q: Where are you sleeping?
WOW...

Itil (10:03:20 7/06/2011)
How do you work in a port without a crust? No, I don’t think it’s impossible), but as you were taken, it’s important for everyone to have an employee’s education.

Fess (10:04:34 7/06/2011)
and especially good, experienced, courteous, diligent, demanding, uncompromising, strong, cheerful, smart, beautiful are taken without education

Fess (10:04:53 7/06/2011)
I am still the son of the director.

We sit in the dormitory. The woman asks to turn on the tea. I Include. True, a broken tea - has a certain bzik - is turned on for a minute or two, turns off and turns on again, a little bit of fun, bringing the water to boil. After the first turn off, the girl, surprised, asks:
Has the water already boiled?
No, it is how he works.
The tea is included.
For what?
I cried to a friend:
- Well, you understand that rainfall there all kinds of settlements, fat, in a word, the technology has it. Clean the water, etc.
The girl, knowing I’m a programmer, jokes:
Have you programmed yourself?
And I smile:
by Sam.
A friend speaks to a girl:
Do you go to bookstores?
I have been.
- Books "Programming for Tea Books " seen?
Well...
Well, here is from there)

Ya: in the periods of session from the graves of such famous scientists, such as Dalambere, Fourier, Gauss, etc. There are strange sounds similar to the rotation of a wire-shaped body in a closed space.

Anatoly Wasserman is the only person in the world who can prove his point of view.

Two friends stand, one listening to music in the player with one headphone. A friend approaches him and takes a second earphone for himself.
A second friend’s immediate commentary: “If we lived on Pandora, you’d be coupled now.”

And to what devil did you sell your soul that I was so good at you?

Gifted to the Birthday PS3 (Playstation 3) and to the award of the game UEFA 2008.
We decided to try this unit in a circle of friends with a beer and a good snack.
Since the blood burst alcohol, the mood was fun, the noise in the apartment stood incredible. Somewhere in an hour of noise, noise and screams (give, give, shabby, soap judge, GOL, etc.)There was a bell at the door. The first thought was, “Well, all of you, neighbors!” I open the door, there is a neighbor from below (grown up, mayka, treniki) and with the words: "Bye, MAN, on what channel of MATCH, I can't find the beat hour, the whole telephone has gone away!!“!”
Through tears I explained why.
P/S Porzal, invited home, served a beer and all together with a calm soul continued the debush.

The defense of the diploma, a student, a lady of the age, who was unable to answer a single question, faithfully looking in the eyes of the acclaimed teacher, tries again:
As I learned from my diploma...
The Teacher spotted:
And then...!!! You are free...

I wondered why one egg is lower than the other. While looking, I stumbled upon a question to the doctors who killed drunk:

Hi, 3 days ago, after a shower, I noticed that the right testicle is above the left and somehow pulled from the back, I for some reason decided that it was turned somehow wrong, and easily turned it 180 degrees so that it became symmetrical to the left, after ~15 minutes I had discomfort in the cheat and a feeling of tension that went up into the abdomen. I realized that something was wrong and turned the testis back (I don't know the truth or not, turned to the one where there was no resistance when turning). Uncomfortable feelings have not passed.

Rude Russian guys

“Doctor, it seems to me that when I turn on a game, I hear the sound of a sign.
Well, what is the problem? It is normal.
I do not have a column.

Shares briefly watched the film "Seven" with Brad Pitt... there at the end when he killed Kevin Spacey, a man on the helicopter issued an offensive phrase: "Anyone, call anyone!"

Make a tattoo on the chest: "Before opening - shout" - entertain pathologists...