Discuss the news as a girl on an Opel struck a bicycle at 11 o'clock in the evening. The comments:

Previously, the girls ran under the cars to get married successfully, now the men began to find the bride with a gift.)
Silence - 14.07.2011 11:15 pm.

To fall under Opel is not to respect yourself.
OlegusMDH - 14.07.2011 11:54 pm.

and under the land cruiser to rush - no bones to collect.)
Silence - 14.07.2011 11:57 am.

The Rambler News:
From the Chitinsky circus escaped depressed chorus with friends

The comments:
The LSD is better than the LSD.

After the state in which he saw me, I don’t see any sense for him to paint.

News from Rambler:

"From the Chitinsky circus escaped a depressed chorus with friends"

pc

I report. The Black Sea, Cocktail, Ukraine In the 7.5 days of my observations, no "TAGIIIIIL" has been recorded. You can go to rest.

A sociologist friend decided to write a course on an unusual topic. Something like the importance of parts of your body for different groups of people.
One of the questions was which bone or group of bones you are most afraid to break.
One of the answers was the right hand.
She then asked for a long time why respondents-men from different groups chose this answer, scoring on a broken ankle, nose, hip neck...

Give me 20 grams.
You have only one word in the dictionary: "Give!"
As if you do not have it!
There is. But I have it alternating with the word "take".
“Take twenty hryvnia and give it to me.

All cats are like cats, and only my red dordana is afraid of cats. She gets stuck in her nails and complains >_<

Answer to:
XXX is fucking!! I’m under the shell!!! to
Man is a spider?

Well, no, this is the Black Coat, everyone has known since childhood!)

Client Letter: "Please pay attention to my yellow highlights in the text".

Writing
There is a washing machine! You drop the sludge into the bath, clog a hole in the bath and turn the empty machine without powder to the maximum temperature. And we have a depth of 50 liters of water at a temperature of about 80 degrees, and a hot bath - about 50 degrees. That is, we dilute what leaked out of the machine with cold water, and the bath is ready!"
Have you offered a Nobel yet?

On the cadastre: discussion of the enlargement of Moscow:
This tumor begins to produce metastases. We need to remove the naher.
I think radiation therapy can help a lot.

The restaurant with the most ingenious and promising name is in China! Under some hieroglyphs is proudly written in Russian: "PUTIN BIG SHASHLIK"!!!)))

Almost the entire printing of the magazine "The Power" was withdrawn from sale in St. Petersburg - The cover of the magazine was illustrated by the portrait of Governor Valentina Matvienko with the signature "For the Sauce before the Fatherland".

Here is! Here is Vala! I should have killed it in the winter!

The round, smooth, elastic ass of my wife’s sister doesn’t interest me at all.

Mr Kyrgyzstan.

PP: I argue with my husband, woe, shake my hands. And myself in the meantime I think: I would have to break the old cell phone on the wall, like out of anger, so that he would buy me a new one later.

XX: Pablo Picasso is a Holoso
YYY: A Henri Maitiess is a Zebisc!

Q: What kind of window do you have?
I have an opera.
HH: Of course, I have no questions anymore...

from ZH:
I found a book on the network with an attractive title "Documentary of rural romance".
It jumped.
It turned out - "Manual of the rural repairman"...
What an annoyance!

I am going to the doctor (B).
Patient (P): And you don’t know urologist Pommelkin is working today?
by :? We don’t have such a doctor.
Q: Why not? He was the chief urologist.
A: He is not a Pommelkin, he is a Bodunov.