I am angry as flies rub their front legs... as if they had a plan. As if my song was singing.
Kinstin: Teeyeks, I saw everything in the toilet, I looked into the bowl to the cat, now I need to wipe off my legs about the Valushkin sandwich :)

Hello, my parents left for 2 weeks, now I can quietly listen to the music of the 80s and 90s, and I am not afraid that my parents will think that I am a drug addict =))

Akito

The highest intolerance to homosexual colleagues is shown by guards (19%), skilled workers (15%) and designers (11%).
Guardians and steelers. Why the designers?

YYY: Because the designer is usually the creative boss. He is either gay or pederast.

News of Krasnoyarsk:
"63% of motorists are ready to switch to buses"
The first comment:
"I would move on the bus. But I don’t have a bus."

A desire that lacks money is called a dream.

The American John K. came to me now, I honestly confessed to him that I wrote a story about him yesterday, should be released in today’s issue. But it is not too late to recall if he is against. John agreed with the publication, but strictly corrected that the temperature in the settlement Free on the day of his arrival was only -46, and not at all -47, as I imagined there. And that this is far from the funniest story of all that happened to him.
of Russia. I was a little offended and asked him to tell the most funny story he thought. Here is she.

At the end of the 1990s, one cute girl from the deaf taiga arrived.
Transsibya somewhere in the area of Transbaykalya in order to sit on the train going to Vladivostok. The driver of the approaching train explained to her that there were no free seats except one in the double-seat luxury. But that a decent girl in this couch is better not to sit down. “What’s wrong with this box? The girl asked scaredly. “There is a dirty foreigner. Terrible such, huge, unridden, unwashed, crazy probably.” Further, from the words of the conductor, it came out that it was a dirty foreigner in all respects: "I was trying to pull me into the toilet with myself. Then the guy did not let out of the toilet, he wanted to break in there. He shakes his hands, shakes something, he doesn’t understand Russian. My eyes are so hungry, so ugly. No one passed by the toilet. Until I talked well with him. Do not go to him in the box! »

The girl had to go. And she went all the way to that terrible foreigner. To his happiness, she spoke English.
The foreigner, indeed a huge unbarred man, polently stood up, almost pushing her back out of the coupe, greeted her, complainingly pointed to his scarf, his dirty shirt, and said with a breath: "Sorry! No water!
»
Why is there no water? The girl wondered, “What about the toilet? “Would I be there! All the cranes checked, all the pins overturned - there is no water! I myself see people going to the toilet with their towels across their shoulders, returning from there shaved and clean. I tried to ask what was going on, and everyone was scared. »

Was the pipe pushed from below? The girl asked.
What kind of pimple?! to

I also found out why the American eyes are so hungry.
His credit card was not accepted by the restaurant car. The Siberian semi-stations were also not fixed by rows of ATMs. He was driving with
of St Petersburg. The man is gentle, the prices in the restaurant are bite, all the cash he wiped with appetite even before the Baikal. At large stations in search of a bankomat to be removed feared - how much will the train stand, ask no one.

After a minute, passengers watched with interest how the door of the evil car opened. A courageous girl suddenly led the humbled stranger through the corridor, and behind them both the toilet door clogged.

One hour later, the terrible alien, in the world American professor, doctor of biological sciences, specialist in project management, hero of Antarctic polar expeditions John McClin Crum was washed, shaved, dressed in a fresh shirt, fed, all shining and kindly communicated with neighbors on the wagon through an interpreter. What was the reason for his previous ugly behavior, he did not explain to the passengers. The whole car looked at the girl with admiration, as if she were a great abuser of foreigners. So is
John Crum has met his future wife. Strange phrase “Did you press the
Pimpochka from the down? It became their family tradition.

A woman in the store suddenly cried out:
and Karaul! They rob! They rob!
Called the police. Write the protocol, what happened?
The Woman:
When buying goods in the store, a fifth of the price must be paid.
the state as VAT, and for some goods also a solid amount in the form of
The taxes are slashing. And to pay for this earned money, s
The state retained almost half of the tax. by
As it all happened to me, I stumbled.

XXX: He was fired from the helium factory. I don’t like when people talk to me in that tone.

Harry Potter and the Gifts of Death (Part 2) A guy enters the hall, apparently in the toilet, descends along the rows, gets the phone and with the phrase "Lumos" looks for the right row. That is not all. Someone was basking in the rear rows until the floor of the hall spread "Silencio, Suki". The magic worked.

I am drawn to the epoch like a pendulum, we have a single pulse beating; stupid if they put a monument to me - I don't like shit pigeon

The Century:

How did you fly if you were using a condom? yyy: how how how? The condom broke the spiral. XXX: Do you also have a spiral installed? yyy: It was, but she jumped out, clinging to the condom...

Schoolwife, remember: the spiral is installed inside the uterus, inside which the MPH could not get during the ebola. And a sprinkle from an electrical device or a curved spiral, pushed into your much-suffering baby, is not a contraceptive, that is.

The driver stops the girl and goes:

Major Major’s documents.

Are you the major of all?? to

Rita has a father in Israel.
YYY: I know, and what is he doing there?
XXX: He is a Jew! :D

The morning.
I’ve found a job!I’ll tell you all this evening!

The evening.
My mother said that she would pay me, only that I would not go anywhere, and Silchanov said that he would pay more if necessary.

xxx: hanging a turnik on the balcony
XX: I decided that every time I go out to smoke, I will pull up to fatigue.
I didn’t think I smoked so much.

from the Sisadmin Forum.
XXX is
Good morning brothers and sisters :-)
Broken UPS APC - 500 CS, constantly powered, burning lamp "Replace Battry- replace the battery". But how do you tell if it really came into useless battery or electronics? If there is a faq on UPS'OB sound signals, please share.
Thanks in advance...
ZZZ
There is no such definition of malfunction on the chopsticks, it is not a Soviet telescope which could be repaired by smell (if it is a multiplier in the toilet, if it is a paraffin, then a high-voltage condor, if it is a resin, then a trans, and if it is a plastic, then a C45 lamp).

In short there is such an analysis “Urin analysis by Nechiporenko” usually our translated it simply as “A urine test”. Well, one newcomer was entrusted to translate the list of insurance payments on medical insurance for the month of May to one of the largest factories in Ukraine. About 40,000 people are insured. More than three of them underwent this analysis. Well, she translated it through Google and he issued the translation “A urine test for Nechiporenko” which can literally be translated as “Urin analysis for Nechiporenko” and all this was sent to the reinsurer to Belgium. They get the answer this morning. are ready? “In the report you sent, there is a certain Mr. Nechiporenko who tested the urine 3,617 times and this is only in one month. Please clarify what disease requires such frequent urine tests? How long does Mr. Nechiporenko have to go through this analysis and what stage of recovery is he? And I’d like to see a picture of a man who took 3,617 urine tests a month, after which he must be very dehydrated.”
The guys looked the same with humor.

The April!!! to
An advertisement like that.

The April!!! to
Tire in very good condition not beaten,galvanized body,all native even front glass,Signalization,New rubber,Salon clean,ined. I do not smoke, I am not a mechanic. But I think the state of walking and engine is perfect. It starts at 35. When it’s warmer, too.
There are no glass lifts. The muscles on the arms decorate men.
There is no air conditioning. Your friends can blow on you.
There is no cruise control. There is an alternative – to press the gas itself and monitor the speed.
There is no climate control. But there is a warm sweet furnace and 4 beautifully opening windows.
The mess. 5 kg of potatoes can no longer fit.
Side and rear mirrors with heating.
4 beautiful carpets. You can dry sweaters on them. In the extreme case - to put the legs.El.Luk solarium,
- It would seem to be 86 horses (in the PTS), but this little girl crushes Porsche Caen when he stands. And if serious, surprisingly sharp and maneuverable car with engine 1.8.All questions on the phone!!! to

There are a lot of cat lovers here, but few people know how to speak with them in the same language. I hope it will help those who read, and especially their pets.
If you want to punish a cat, don’t scream or beat him. Take him for the skin, shake and whisper on him. Not "sh-sh-sh", but HUGE, THROUGHING "shfrshshshshshshhsh!!!!!" with a steep, sincere desire to smash this damaged little girl. Naturally, the degree of horror and shaking is determined by the severity of the offence, sometimes enough and silent whispering to prevent offenses.
Well, and a couple of additions - it is more useful to praise a cat when he has done things in the pot than to punish him for the opposite (not talking about labels!!!To distract the animal from prohibited places (table, for example) is best by loud unexpected sounds from this place (throw a keyband next to it) or water spraying.
This is much more effective than crushing the cat’s psyche with blasphemy, screaming and causing pain. Check it yourself.

Corr is burning, bleat! Is that how to understand it? The truck driver, who was under the influence of narcotic substances, took the pasturing animals for "evil spirits."

So how do we understand this?
In 2008, a tractorist was detained in Dnepropetrovsk, who, under the influence of drugs, called himself a warrior of the world and was chasing the police on a tractor.