bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №60346
 19.02.2012
xxx: by the way
Yesterday in the bus company was driving, botanics
3 girls and a boy
Talk about alcohol 😉
So, in their opinion, the cognac Daniel Jackson is absolutely nothing ;-)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №60345
 19.02.2012
Finally understood that he grew up, when in the bath instead of plastic wipes and blankets, the underwear of his wife fell from the dryer began to swim.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №60344
 19.02.2012
Swedish man lived for two months in snow-growing car
The blood of the Norda gives 50% resistance to cold.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №60343
 19.02.2012
The newlyweds called for a new home, let the cat, and then began to push and roar First Nah!!! It is they turned out to argue who will try the first toilet in practice, I think they will live together until old age)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60342
 19.02.2012
xxx: girls, how do you think to call him or not?
Don’t, make him call you!
Zzzz: Give him a call!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №60341
 19.02.2012
From one of the hockey sites:
Bars will come and fuck out for neighbors 11:1.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! to
Zzz: Just came the Oil Chemicals and fuck you.
Qqq: How do I understand, by the word hockey you mean male fucking?

[ + 26 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60340
 19.02.2012
Teach with a child a verse in kindergarten on February 23 (5 years for a child):

The Russian Army is not stronger in the world
Congratulations to the Defenders of the Fatherland helmet."

The child gave:

"The Russian Army is no longer in the world..."

The Truth in the Mouth of a Baby

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №60339
 19.02.2012
Comments on the news about bluetooth headsets in the form of a small cheap phone:
xxxh: I'm looking forward to a campaign that will release such a headphone in the form of an iPhone
WOW: Ah, and the headset for that headset, and so on. You took
zzz:..they took a third phone out of his hands, but the main one remained in his pocket... :D

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №60338
 19.02.2012
Q: Well, when is sex intended?
I don’t know when, and I don’t know where.
XX: in the car
I’m not in the car...I’m already out of that age.
I have to put my bed under a warm blanket.)
Better not to fuck, but to eat the fairy tales.
Which is :))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №60337
 19.02.2012
You can’t buy health, but it costs a lot of money. Bakutkin

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60336
 19.02.2012
How not to sleep...

Today there is a possibility to receive a pension earned in Russia if you live outside of it. Of course, this is not easy and not everybody, and it does not always succeed. First of all, you need to prove that you are alive – provide a certificate from the Russian consulate that they saw you alive this year. Then this certificate must be sent to the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation, and this fund will charge you the pension for the same year. But this is only if the certificate is not lost in the mail, or elsewhere - in the corridor, for example. What if they lose?

The 2012 year. I watch a heartbreaking scene at the consulate’s notarial department. The old lady is hysterical and tries to get a certificate from the consulate that she was alive in 2010. It was for the whole of this 2010 year that she was not charged a pension, because "certificates of being alive for 2010" in her case in the Pension Fund for some reason is not. She learned about this only now, in 2012, because if the pension is transferred monthly, then its size is not enough to pay for its transfer abroad,
(the sender or recipient-pensioner will have to pay an additional amount.) Therefore, usually the pension is accumulated on the book, and then spent, coming home. So this old lady came, and nothing to spend: whether she was alive or not without a certificate was unknown, but the pension was not calculated. Fortunately, there were no problems since 2011 – as the reference was attached, and no doubts about “being alive” for this year did not arise.

But this, I repeat for the careless, in 2011. And in 2010, the situation is quite different, throughout this year, there is still complete uncertainty about "the fact that the old lady is alive", and, therefore, there can be no pension for 2010. Definitely need a certificate of being alive in the year 2010, and then - here you for the year 2010 pension.

Here is the old lady crying at the window of the implacable notary of the consulate, and her relatives persuade him to write today, February 15, 2012, a certificate that the old lady was alive in 2010. And how can he write such a certificate, if he did not see this old lady in 2010 and could not see – he then worked in a completely different country that year? He can be fired for this fake.

The notary shows the old lady and her relatives an instruction that no documents can be issued backwards. All documents have their order number, and a certificate, for example, "from February 12, 2010" can not be legally registered and issued in February 2012.

I understood that it was possible to fall asleep in an elementary way by tapping into this story and the arguments of its actors, and rushed to the exit.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60335
 19.02.2012
I drive a car, all the pedestrians are goats. I walk, all the waters are goats. I ride a bicycle, you are all goats!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60334
 19.02.2012
Governor of Krasnodar region Alexander Tkachev made an unexpected statement during a discussion on Twitter with a local hospital employee.
I am a honey engineer. I get 15 thousand. ! to How to live?” — turned to the official Yuri Budilnikov. “Change the job,” was laconic Tkachev.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №60333
 19.02.2012
yyy: my today bound two tampons and boasted new nunchaks
The idiot...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60332
 19.02.2012
Sergey: I call my aunt to ask how the building is, she doesn’t recognize the type asks who is it?
I’m talking about your favorite nephew.)
You are Vasya?
I am an unloved nephew (

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60331
 19.02.2012
XXX (Tell me about yourself)
yyy: greetings) read the questionnaire, questions will appear - ask =)
xxx: "Yes For example, because I am smarter than you."
X: Is it not sick? Men don’t always like that.
YYY: What is it?
XXX: Don't take this into your head
xxx: "I want to have adult beautiful men"
XXX: Will you find me?
xxx: I’m for real meetings so I’m interested in everyone)
Are you exactly 22?
xxx: yes)))you ask because I write you stupid questions) and especially about sex) agree, stupid ) but I will know what you are capable of)
Yyy: No, I’m asking because by spelling, you’re smiling at a sixth grade student.
xxx: what photos are on? leave a comment.I can then change them or delete them :(
You really don’t know what ortography is?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: So you are beautiful.
xxx: generally now understand I can not delete which photos or not ) and what is spelling if I am there like a small 6th class but beautiful ( small but beautiful?) I don’t understand the Negro)
It’s cool, go on.
xxx thank you 😉

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60330
 19.02.2012
From the forum of one MMORPG:

xxx: In my opinion, it is disproportionate to see a stroller killing a warrior in a lotus.
Yyy: In my opinion, it’s disproportionate to see how mag... exists.

[ + 34 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60329
 19.02.2012
Fucking that not a new version of Word, then a bunch of no one needs fights. Today, Word took years for grams and offered to convert 1782 to 62.92 ounces. And, of course, I was born almost two kilos, hole.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60328
 19.02.2012
As my good friend said, “Sir, what kind of friend am I to you? Fuck who is it at all? I see you for the first time that you follow me.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60327
 19.02.2012
The body is not politically correct. People who have some difficulties with life.

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