bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49304
 24.06.2011
I went to work recently. Zamdir pushed a burning speech about the office. It consisted mainly of idiomatic expressions, mostly non-printed. I was already sitting with my eyes like a crazy silk, but I got the end: "We are all fucking here. We need fucking people. Are you fucking? Then you are right for us!"

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №49303
 24.06.2011
The xxx:
In Moscow confused photographed customers on video

YYYY :
Released on YouTube?

The xxx:
The facility is now sealed. Police will have to look at hundreds of hours of video captured by spy cameras of prostitutes. It is possible that there are persons on the bordels who represent an operational interest.

YYYY :
The officers themselves? 😉

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49302
 24.06.2011
I need a lesbian girlfriend.
so that I can come to her.
Eat salad, roll on the balcony, discuss her girls and mine.
So I can always honestly tell her whether she deserves her new girlfriend or not. To give good advice.
So that you can get rid of her martini, and then do all kinds of nonsense.
And then take and marry her ex.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №49301
 23.06.2011
In the morning, the wife:
How much alcohol did you drink at the office party yesterday?
A bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka, but the labels changed!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №49300
 23.06.2011
I am looking for a job, call from a potential employer (PR).
...
Reason for leaving translation work?
I’m tired of working for food...
After a long thought, come tomorrow if we give you a cup of tea.

I go tomorrow. I sing.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №49299
 23.06.2011
With the advent of Internet forums, public toilets have become noticeably cleaner

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49298
 23.06.2011
I need a master urgently.
so that I can come to him.
Eat a kitchet, roll on the balcony, listen to his girlfriend or lineage.
So that I can always honestly keep him silent. To give good advice.
so that you can make valeryanks with him, and then do all kinds of nonsense while he sleeps.
And then take and fool his new girlfriend.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №49297
 23.06.2011
Rule: "Better to see once than to hear 100 times" does not apply to the army (

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №49296
 23.06.2011
How to Write in Latin Numbers? Or what they are called.)

Tagged: Roman
Category: I II IV V VI X
WOW: What is the problem?

Tagged with: pasiba
Where to get the number 3? Write to me

You are mocking, are you?

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №49295
 23.06.2011
In the military room for honey. I take off my backpack and the doctor says to me:
Are you already with a parachute? In the Air Force.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №49294
 23.06.2011
by young_lipetsk:
The organization is looking for a chief executive, Bush chief and head of computer security department. What happened to them?! O_O

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49293
 23.06.2011
I have been working in this company as an admin for 6 months. I constantly watch the picture: their department from morning to evening pins, but at some point the boss (a very busy uncle) comes and ticks them such puzzles, which we hear. And a miracle! The department starts working as a factory. Hence the question arises: can a puzzle be considered miraculous?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №49292
 23.06.2011
Names of firms:
Distributed optics students to practice. The absolute majority expressed the desire to work in OJSC Vibrator.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №49291
 23.06.2011
Good day.
You are called from the Platinum Bank.
Wait a few seconds and you will be connected to the operator.
and pause.
All operators are busy, stay on the line.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №49290
 23.06.2011
I saw the file yesterday. The guy jumping through the turniket in the subway, spilled a bunch of little things out of his pocket (50 rubles). It no longer makes sense to collect. A police officer has already been nominated for him........the cost is paid twice =))

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №49289
 23.06.2011
Look what a romance! A couple on the wheel of sight kisses.
I would have a girl more.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №49288
 23.06.2011
In Ryazan, an airstrike destroyed a building materials store and a car "Moskvich-2141".
The Mi-26 helicopter was carrying construction household. For unknown reasons, a metal door and other details fell from it.

"Vagon doors fold in the steppe" (c) Pasternak

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №49287
 23.06.2011
Continuing with biology.
To our anonymous reader who answered a question about the umbilical cord and asked "But I’m worried about something else. Why do men have nipples?" we answer.
Until a certain time, all embryos develop as girls. Then if the embryo has the y-chromosome, the formation of the female organs stops and the shame begins: the embryos of the ovaries descend below and gradually develop into the testicles; the embryos of the genital lips cluster (there is that scar at the bottom of the scrotum - it is from the grown genital lips); the development of the mammary glands stops (although, when introduced to a man of female hormones in large quantities, the breasts can grow, which are used by transsexuals, indeed, milk can not produce - underdeveloped); and further male hormones form other characteristic features for the male body.
Such jokes of Mother Nature gave feminists the opportunity to shout out about “all men are imperfect women,” and to the chauvinist men about “all women are underworked men.”
Thank you for being with us, look forward to the new releases.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №49286
 23.06.2011
On the mailbox is written with a mark: no need for advertising. Below, the pen is already: we need Fedya, we need.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №49285
 23.06.2011
I lie down, the neighbors are noisy, they don’t let me sleep.
I think I’ll knock on the wall.
I attached the book to the wall so that the wall itself would not be melted, and how fucking!
In the silence clearly heard: "O Lord"...
xxxh: for the first time felt the power over the senior %)

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