In the pharmacy. She took a large pack of condoms and stood in line. While I was standing, a toilet paper hit my eyes. I remember that home is over. I am in line further. In the hands of paper, I put condoms on top. A man stood up behind me. I looked at my purchases and said:
P (smiling): Girl, is it somehow connected?
Do you like quests?

Just witnessed the communication of the director with a girl, conditioned in logistics:
Director: Is that what you call back?
Logist: No, my name is Xusha...
This is the logic of logic.

husband: I am all day at work tomorrow, and you just make a list of what to take to the country.
My wife: Okay I cut off the soap.
You and I live in the same house!!! We sleep in one bedroom 2x3 meters!!! in the assault.

Our justice is actually somewhat left.

window
When my son was four years old, he only watched cartoons about robots – body hunters, monsters – swindlers, unscrupulous Japanese with magical crystals and other fucking stuff. Not that I was against, but I was stressed that he in no way wanted to watch our old, good, time-tested Soviet cartoons.
The plot is not violent, there are few explosions, there are no transformers - murderers.
In one word, stay back. My son will watch for me for two minutes.
Boniface and everyone asks:
For a long time? Maybe by the end of the mountain?
I loaded up and started to think about how to get my boyfriend into human cartoons?
Forcing - no point, promising new toys - will it not be fat, for watching cartoons...? (And then what then? Edak I will prove before he is going to eat ice cream only for chocolate candy...) You had to play on low human instincts, and what to do...?
He mastered the house from the mailbox, cut the windows, painted the walls, even built the roof with a pipe. Soon in the house settled small humans of the height of a fireplace and got a good farm: a sofa table, a bookcase and even a toilet, and most importantly, they acquired a huge plasma with a diagonal of up to three inches.
I immediately warned my son that these guys had their own lives, which we giants shouldn’t go into. They do not go into our house, they live quietly in their house under the table. They are not asked...
Suddenly the next day the son ran with square eyes and whispered loudly:
“Daddy, let’s run, men in their houses are looking at plasma!
Do they see and see that they are not people? The main thing is not to disturb them.
and scare.

Late in the evening the wife returned and with horror stumbled on the child lying under the table without signs of life... It was he who, having hidden his breath, looked through the window, as little humans were watching cartoons and had time to look at all of Winnie-Puch and Well weather. The next day, the humans took on the films of Gary Bardin and the son did not lag behind the liliputiks, pulled in.
So from day to day lying under the table, he became a major specialist on Soviet animation.

How to confuse a man:

The Gopnik:
Let the cell phone call.
Does he not have anything?
and no.
What if I find?

Sleep means shake at work, the boss comes in wakes me up and such a dialogue

Will you order hamburgers?
I will
I will bring, I will wake up.

A representative of the Center for Countering Extremism indicated by what signs it is possible to identify an extremist-oriented personality. “The story of the security guards that in one of the Russian villages operates a sect worshiping Putin. The community was founded by a woman called Mother Fotinia. She teaches that Vladimir Putin in the past “incarnation” was the apostle Paul. Now he (with seven other reborn apostles) is battling with seven antichrists. Fotinja assures that he has known the Russian Prime Minister since he allegedly was Prince Vladimir, and she - Princess Olga. In the iconostasis of the community there is a portrait of the prime minister, and during the "services" the adepts of the sect sing instead of the psalms the Soviet hit "May there always be the sun," - told in the press service.

AAA : Yes! I remind, to every firefighter, wear comfortable shoes and clothes, the grotto is not a show of delights) I advise bars to wear jeans to protect their feet from possible ticks, which are abundant in the wild grass, as well as from all sorts of clothes, which is more convenient to pull out of the pants than from the legs) There may also be mosquitoes and biting flies, they will of course be a little pushed by the fire, but the most ugly will still be found.
BBB is fucking! Do you have nightmares here??? There are probably more snakes and scorpions there...you have not forgotten?
AAA: snakes and scorpions will go on a shale and belts
CCC: Okay snakes... their tail, but please explain to me, where have you gathered to look for our scorpions?? to
AAA: I’ll bring it with me

I am drunk in the apartment.
I am very happy! and c)

Mongolian leader Tamerlan was terribly harsh – he executed anyone who told him a joke he had heard before.

I just saw the inscription on the house: BABY – GOODGERS!

lisena: and we here the real theme was came two girls with a resume on the job office manager in the chart courses - Arabic dances and macrame

I met a girl on Facebook and she asked:
Q: Do you have a girlfriend? Or something like that?"
The third hour I think what to answer.

He invited his girlfriend to his home, and did not have time to clean up in his Gikov Berlog.
She: I think you’re playing Tetris in your room.
I : Why?
She: Do you really think that if you put things in a row, they will disappear?

by Tusk. A drunk guy looks at the girl's clothes with crows and rhinestones:

When we come to me, you come to my curtains and don’t get close.

Neighbors do all kinds of car repairs. One day a girl comes and calmly says:
I need to take off my pants and change my clothes.
The neighbor:
Is she not able?
After 5 seconds, the girl, realizing what happened, escaped in her car behind the turn, she was no longer seen.

Don’t write me now, I’ve got a compilation.
mike19: Okay Loh
Mike19: Will you go out with us? and :)
mike19: Oh, thank you for the porn record, I’ve never met such a hard one before!! to
Mike19: Did the man ever tell you that he flew from you?? to

Yopt, I could never explain to the director that wifi should be not only in his iPhone, but also in his surroundings.

As a student of the Faculty of History, I stand in the queue of the reading room of the library to receive books. In front of me is a girl, probably a first-class student. Dialogue between the girl (D) and the librarian (B):
D: Please give me a textbook on the history of philosophy
B: Do you think of the history of philosophy or the philosophy of history?
The girl moved...