bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №47324
 12.05.2011
At 11:30 p.m., I teach my mom to work with Facebook, among my online friends - my uncle, her brother, the second year as a retired.
Look, you’re writing to him "Hello", now he’ll answer.
and AGA. So, how does he write here "how does it work?"
At this time, the voice is given by the grandmother, the mother of both, 84 years old.
Who is she with, Witch? Is he not sleeping yet?

We are always kids for them :)

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №47323
 12.05.2011
I am in a terrible anal depression.
Why anal?
That kind of ass around.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №47322
 12.05.2011
I go with a friend in his car. Who misses us.
I - "Help, say thank you!"
he- "the car is new, I still don’t know where here thanks"

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №47321
 12.05.2011
Our chiefs refuse to index our wages for 5 years, reasonably answering - " After all, the productivity of your work has not grown, why do you increase your salary?"
Following this logic, it is now absolutely obvious to me that during this time the nutrition of products in Russia has increased at least 2 times, and the capacity of a liter of gasoline - almost three times.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №47320
 12.05.2011
I met a guy here, so he has the most amazing imaginative profession: a manager of condoms and pads at the Red Cross.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №47319
 12.05.2011
and also those around them... how they are there... oh, people... walk fucks happy with life

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №47318
 12.05.2011
From Twitter:

4-5 years ago, a woman often called us with the words: "Hello, this is the apartment of Alexeev? O_O

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №47317
 12.05.2011
Someone else’s sorrow can still be endured, but here is someone else’s happiness.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №47316
 12.05.2011
A friend of mine, working in Finland. I was driving on my car on the track.
Limit of 70 km/h. Drive past the camera 72 km/h. The camera photographs him. He is in confusion. Photographs from +6 km / h. It turns out. It runs 68 km/h and is being photographed. Well the glue!! It turns out. He runs 40 km/h and is being photographed again. He thinks he has shut down the camera.
After a week came three fines for not attaching a belt)))

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №47315
 12.05.2011
What is the difference between the Politburo of the CPC Central Committee and the current leadership of Russia?
The Politburo is dumb marasmatics, and the current leadership is young, energetic leaders.
Drunk marasmatics took the Victory Parade standing for several hours.
Young and energetic, watching the SIDA parade, only the pop-corn in their hands is lacking.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №47314
 12.05.2011
xxx: and I said to the employee that she was healed, although she really cried out simply, and she was offended)
Yyy: Girls are very upset about such comments.
Better to hear the fucking truth.
YYY: and think
YYY: and start doing something
XXX: I am talking about.
Well, the most important thing is that you say it gently and not at all.
But not for everyone...
YYY: Well then she’s bad, I’d definitely think about it.
yyy: although I always start to paranoid before I can say this.)))
YYY: Aaaah, I just started thinking about it myself.
YYY :D
Yyy: So if you can say something 😉
XXX is hz. I find it hard to judge
XX: I have never seen you fat.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №47313
 12.05.2011
DiWen: The news that the Lada Granta came from Putin’s hand 5 times is still half a trouble... In this same news on the ramp:

It was previously that the new “Lada Granta” will be equipped with a braking stabilization system, safety pillows, electric beet lifts.

Well, what else can be added to the Russian car... Only beet lifts.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №47312
 12.05.2011
My wife, go to sleep.
T4ka: luck...yet a little bit...in the innet who is wrong! >_<
I want to sleep, I want to sleep!
T4: Everyone is running.
Misha :...
Tu4ka (clicks on the key)

Service message hidden administrator: "Attention, your computer will turn off in 1 minute. Reason: I told you to go to bed quickly!"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №47311
 12.05.2011
There is no connection. Pope says the problem is with us. We can prove nothing. I ordered from Siberia. Three days later the boy arrives.
You don’t have a puppy! There is no modem. I don’t know, I went.
Boy, are you upset? We are Yuri, we are here through the corporation.
I only know Poppy, let me go!
Boy, I’ve struck you myself twice, twice. Call yours and set it to work.

Apparently the promise worked and in half an hour everything worked.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №47310
 12.05.2011
After all, tomorrow at 7.22 I will give a salary... and there is a little bit of advance!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №47309
 12.05.2011
The Heroes 3.
Week of Boyarsky: increase of devils +1000

[ + 69 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47308
 12.05.2011
WOW> shit about pedals remembered.
On a bicycle in childhood you speed up, get up from the saddle on the pedal, so as to push all the weight faster.
WOW> and the foot from the pedal slips, so it hurts about the frame...
WOWA> has since been tormented by the question, what a fool invented what is great for men with a horizontal overlay, and the babs with two slopes.
WOW> should be the opposite!!! to

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №47307
 12.05.2011
My friend, let’s call him for short, Lesh, being in a state of heavy alcoholic intake, walked around the city in the sense of having something to eat. The first on his way met with the Chinese fast food. For two minutes honestly trying to focus on the wise transliteration from the language of the cradle of civilization, he found nothing better than to approach the window and say, "Give me a huni, please." The girl in the window, having nothing to do with the representatives of the Asian race, which looked more like Dana Borisova with the eyes of Valeria, showed the top of tact, understanding and, probably, a little telepathy: - You with sauce or without?

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №47306
 12.05.2011
No, don’t ask me
I was on autopilot.
I woke up talking to a taxi driver in the morning.
He probably wavered a lot when I suddenly changed the subject and asked, “Where are we?” Who are you? What X did you bring me here?
) ) )

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №47305
 12.05.2011
About the headsets:

They are very comfortable sitting on the head, like home shoes.

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