One girl was so afraid to jump with a parachute that she jumped without it.

HHH: Fuck, what is it - again these recruiters came up with their questions about faith.
Mmm, we came one day. I looked into the eyes, pretended that the people were unfamiliar, called Lenka, and myself into the kitchen. and Oga. As it turned out later, there was such a short dialogue:
Do you believe in God?
Lena responded quickly:
We are satanists.
And here is my angry cry from the kitchen:
Is there a sharp knife?
In short, no one ever came to us again.

Explanatory
Yesterday, being in extreme despair due to mental experiences, I tried to commit suicide, for which I drank a package of sleeping pills, but did not die, but fell asleep and was late to work for four hours. Please treat with understanding.

xxx is. The acquaintance went on a journey, to survive, from food only salt. When he returned, he stopped being afraid of dogs.He now looks at them as food, they are afraid of it.
YYYYY After the next trip, he will stop being afraid of people.

Remember the video where 3 girls stand (three 100% blondes), and one tells about how important a gift is and carries the brain with their text?

Today I argued with her and she began to say that there are no such girls in this video. I began to explain why, to argue... I spoke for a moment, then I was silent and thoughtfully so sad "I was now speaking like that lady in the video?..."

The main thing is that the search for work is not obscured by success.

The rat is a friend of the shaker. During the lunch break, no one goes up in the mine. Lunch there too. And one of the miners after lunch stumbled and fell asleep. Those who worked with him in one shift had to wake him up after the break – that was the agreement. But they went somewhere for a few minutes, but it doesn’t matter. A man wakes up from someone biting his finger. Not to the blood, but very unpleasant. And it does not sleep. He opens his eyes, a rat.
He pulled her away with his hands and motherly words. He just closed his eyes again, again bites, infection. He stumbled on her, and what he did not do.
It does not lag behind. He swallowed, stood up and chased after her on the strap. Half a minute later, where he was lying, everything collapsed. The cover has collapsed.
After that, every time a man comes to work and eats lunch, a rat comes to him. He breaks a third of his brake and gives it to her. They sit and eat together. They ate, she stood up and left. And so every time.
How does she know when he has his next change, no one can understand...

Odessa Family Disputes.
“Celia, I beg you – let’s get divorced! I have no strength anymore.
to live!
“No, Yasha, the widow took the widow and you leave her.

A letter arrived:
JSC "Sberbank of Russia" - Central Russian Bank hereby informs you that in connection with the emergence of taxable income in the form of material benefit from savings on interest when using credit funds in the amount of 10.42 rubles. You are liable for payment of income tax. The amount is 4.00 rubles.

I call the bank. Answer, say, here the interest on loans dropped - you got the benefit - 10 rubles. This profit is taxed. Therefore, the tax must be paid.
In order to pay taxes, I need:
1st Go to Sber. Get a certificate of something.
2nd Go to the tax office, fill out the declaration, take the records.
Three Go to Sber. to pay.
And this is all, shit for four rubles!!! I love my country.

X: We have the chief here for the sake of the squad offered everyone to choose any position.
X: Well, in the sense that it will be recorded in the work
There is one Jedi and one Queen.
X: I am now oscillating between the demonologist and the sheep.

Bloodyhell: Hi, Dash What do you do?
Deathtofalsemetal:Hello) I write a manual
Bloodyhell: Why is it?
Deathtofalsemetal: Dima on all the raids answers:"How did I know that I can’t do/speak? You have no instructions attached." He will now have instructions)
Bloodyhell: The Poor Guy

xxx: No, I'm absolutely afraid to communicate with Nadika in the net
XXX: My body can’t digest
xxx: when she writes me "in 5 minutes I'll be, sunnyffko <3"
xxx: and after five minutes knocks out the door with the words "no and hole you wanted, mudilo?"

xxx(07:18): could not choose - to sleep further or go for a couple...
xxx(07:18): did not get confused and fooled the system... stood up and went nowhere

Military...
Not enough that at the age of 16 the agenda did not come, nor at 18... at 21 came myself.Gru - "That's what, give me the agenda!" on me - O_O."-Your attribute". "-Netu.At the 16th also the agenda was not".he did the assignment, they gave the agenda for a certain number.I came.Blajaja..no humorists.Starting with "Let the cowards go down, turn, bow down"end with the ophthalmologist - "-I have a vision -2"Okul:"-that you lie?In 1997, a commission was held (going on a different topic, but in a personal case it was noted) and you have 100% vision!!"."All go, 100% vision.Next!"
O_O
I go further in Aachen.
Well, and here is the end of all the torments... sits a major... in front of me, a gentle guy (where 165-170 height, well weight kg under 50)... major......................................................
I-DY O-TY

A friend promised to ride a Japanese motorcycle over two hundred kilometers per hour in the summer. I think it’s time to start pushing the sphincter muscle.

Max, if Putin said that the Olympics in Sochi will be, and as far as football is concerned, then all the Maya tribes will suck with their prophecies.

Let the naked woman.
Yyy: No, better proof of the equality of classes P and NP, for such a dream give a million dollars.

I: Hello
Welcome to the anti-spam bot. Darth Vader and Princess Diana. Ultimately, at least "not like everyone". And who was it that made fun of everyone, who am I asking you?
I: The Roots
I: the goats
I: the idiots
I : we
You can now write to me directly, and at the same time explain why you are all embarrassed.
I: Oh you are crazy.

hhh: but in the east, the sheikhs, the sultans are hot, are they interested in arranging grouphouses with their wives?
WOW: how did I shake up, one headache, the other "I am so tired (what shit!!!“Let’s go tomorrow,” the third PMS, the fourth offended you fuck knows what, the fifth “tomorrow doctor, I can’t”, the sixth in my mom’s guests and so fucking to the end. So fuck the cook or maid, and then with this tension, as the service is mostly from men.

The xxx:
and super-
Mega-
and turbo-
and hyper-

What other consoles do you know that seem to make things cool, but nothing like that?

YYYY :
I-