Pizzadice is when a sympathetic guy approaches you.
The coffee says:
Are you not busy here?
Congratulations no!
I’ll take the chair then.

From Habr:
Paper card against the railway:
of the plus:
Compactly
You can twist as you want and separate the squares.
You can make notes.
It can be used as a tap in the car.
There is no paper, and the fire needs to be lit.
All emergency services with phone numbers.
Increases without brakes.
Upgrade costs 10 rubles per year. (There will be notify about the update every 10 minutes)
Does not require electricity.
The hoops will not take.
Do not turn to the left where it is forbidden.

From the Minuses:
It does not show where you are.
Don’t turn to the left where it needs to be done.
In the full darkness of light.

On a brick fence near the work of graffiti: "Panki hoy, punk are alive, punk x** lay on you."
This “you” from the big letter touches me to tears.
From Diary

to you:
to you:
I heard a funny story yesterday. Police arrested a 35-year-old man for raping an emo boy. Ask a man in court.
Are you of unconventional orientation? Why did you rape the boy?
The boy???! to

Fucking as fun.

Boy, is it you?

A colleague of dr. As usual, we collected a envelope with money, whoever could, as a gift.
The director congratulates, pushing the speech:
- You only, Misha, spend that money wisely: on drugs and selling women :)
One of the employees:
Sergey Yurievich is! Not even a gram is enough.

C of Habra:

xxx: I am not ashamed of my colleagues with such a list with some exceptions.
YYY: A kind of disgraceful word. The Companions...
Zzzz: What a big deal!

It’s bad when you realize that you’ve burned, only after you’ve shaved.

I was able to make a scientific breakthrough, today I am making my first time trip. If we won the Second World War, and the President of Russia, D.A. Medvedev, I have succeeded.

Wish me good luck.

A: Buy yourself a mac, what are you pretending?
B: Yes, I would buy it, but I’ve told so many people that Maki is shit.

I went with my friends on the main street. Today will be a match between Dynamo (Moskva) and Volga (Nizhny Novgorod). Dynamics go and shout: Dynamo is the champion! (And something in that spirit.)
There is a woman in a wheelchair in which a child sleeps. One of the fans of Dynamo screams to everyone: Silence! The child is sleeping!
After that, this crowd is singing a new slogan: Quietly the child is sleeping! (It is almost whispering)
I am in shock :D

Despite the fact that my father lived in Siberia for 25 years, he could never get rid of the accent.
I sit with my mom in the kitchen. Dad comes in, looks at Mom and says:
The fire!
We are in Ahuya, we think what to first take out of the house, and he continues the phrase:
and potatoes.

Yes, fuck him with everyone, leave "More cats", for God’s sake=) "Mimimimimim", I cry for humiliation =)

The Old Man (9:00)
No, there is no pair.

Thirteen (9:00) :
seriously?

Thirteen (9:00) :
I was wearing cowards.

Discussing who was fooled:

X: When I was born, the doctor said, “Welcome to our beautiful world, baby!”
y: A should have said, “Welcome to the real world, Neo?”

I agreed with my husband to have children, then sex.
As I put my kids on, I cut off. My husband also fell asleep while waiting for me. This is the kind of sex ((((

Advertising: Our trousers are not shameful to show! Buy the right clothes for the world! The right pants are... unexpectedly...

xxx: And we in one clinic in the reception room had an announcement: "For registration required: passport, insurance and home phone". Below in the clamps is written "only number" - I'm wondering how many telephone devices were drawn to this attribute...

Often, leafy channels on a calf, I get on channels, where girls show a variety of fashionable clothes. And there are always some thin girls with a moustache, as if they've just made a moneyball. And I really don’t understand – these chickens are some standard of beauty? Interesting for whom? Whoever I ask - everyone likes cute, gentle, humble girls with a normal female figure - i.e. There is a pop and a chest, and the girl herself is not a seed dry.

xxx: Hi, here in our courtyard neighbor as always parked right on the playground, where my children play, please take action.
YYY: Okay, we will take action, the evacuator is already coming.
Thank you very much, I didn’t even know where to park.

In Kazan will be held a rally in defense of the Russian language
YYY: What is it?
XXX is in.