bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №42104
 23.01.2011
Do not go far, you can get lost.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №42103
 23.01.2011
Shortly before the collapse of the Soviet Union, one teacher of our department spoke that his three-room apartment occupied three floors at once.
In Soviet times, not even the general secretaries lived in three-level apartments, and in combination with the aforementioned number of rooms, such a layout, I think, to this day is quite a strange thing. In the words of the teacher, however, there was a whisper. Interested by the forkfather at the first convenient occasion, he went to his apartment, catching me as an occasion, a twenty-year-old bulldozer with some paper, for which urgent withdrawal was required.

The teacher's house was located right behind the luxurious building of the main GUM of Vladivostok, in the pre-revolutionary times of the best local trading house "Kunst and Albert". It belonged to the German entrepreneurs Gustav Kunst and Gustav Albert. It turned out that our teacher was located in the rooms where either Kunst lived or not.
and Albert. The way to his apartment resembled a nightmare from Kafka’s novel – a huge parade staircase and an enclosure of palace chambers, flanked by dozen rooms, between which the linen was dried on ropes.

But our teacher’s apartment was firmly enclosed by a stone wall from all this abomination – he owned two staircases and two staircases on the black exit, as well as a corner room, outlooking with two of its windows to the east and south, straight to the Gulf of the Golden Horn. This made the room surprisingly bright and cozy.
The owner explained how when instilled in this apartment, the first thing he wanted to scrape and throw out a completely monstrous iron battery with a height of almost a human height. This battery stood right at the entrance, occupied the entire wall of the room and was covered with many layers of the most disgusting colours, including the poisonous green. At the last moment, he, out of scientific curiosity, began to rub this paint on one spot until the gold, pressed with graffiti and other sophisticated grinding of the highest quality, glittered under his head. Of course, it was only copper or bronze with skillfully selected color additives, but the battery drained to the end burned under direct rays of the sun brighter than the golden domes of the temple. It became clear why the battery was so high and placed in such an uncomfortable place - the sun was always on it with a direct direction from the east window, then from the south, why this bright room became even brighter.

Then he took on a tall ceiling covered with an unreasonable patchwork. Underneath it were discovered flying pink cupidons on golden clouds in the blue sky. In principle, the new owner simply returned to this room its original appearance, but it now looked like a quote from the Winter Palace in St. Petersburg.

It was harder for him with the staircase, but here he managed - on the first staircase he fitted a brick wall with a spacious kitchen and fitted it with tiles, down the staircase he put a children's sliding hill for his three-year-old child with a baton below, and over him he strengthened a vertical sports wall. He closed the lower staircase with doors on both sides and made it a great bedroom for himself and his wife and two young children, including his one-year-old son. The third, already 14-year-old son slept on top of the same room with griffons on a sliding chair-bed. But, as it is said in the advertisement, and this is not all - the second door from the bedroom led further down the stairs, and there right above the stairs, on the high slopes, he made a bar, and beneath it a deep basement.
The stairs led further down. However, the possession of the owner in the basement ended, and the probably no less strange next apartment began.

There was only one disadvantage I noticed in this apartment - no sound insulation was there. The owner explained that he deliberately left wide holes in the bedroom in order to hear the three-year-old son quiet in time – at this point he had to run and watch what he was still going to do.

After sitting well in the bar and finally saying goodbye to the owner, we went out. I noticed that my bald expansive forkfederum is just ripped up by some thought. Finally he couldn’t stand, “I understand everything, but where do they get the kids to do?”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №42102
 23.01.2011
A village morning, the inhabitants of the courtyard wake up, the owner of the house.
A cow is awakening.
Mou-U to Mou
Do you want a bull?
A pig wakes up.
The Hru-Hru...
What do you want, shabby?
The girl wakes up:
Oh oh oh!
Good morning daughter.
Oh my mom! To everyone in a human way, and to me so “good morning”!

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №42101
 23.01.2011
A girl’s hands should tremble from gifts, her feet from sex, and her heart from love.
YYY: and more lips...from the fact that it would not bother to run

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №42100
 23.01.2011
I go to work in the morning. Looking for socks in the closet, I remember exactly that yesterday there were a pair of beige and black. 1 beige today. A friend of mine:
“Len, where my light socks are, it’s not on the shelf.
Per he was on the dark side?

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №42099
 23.01.2011
What does it mean to live "double life"?
WOW: It’s when you’re a dirty school botanist in the afternoon, and you’re kidding bad guys at night. Or you become a bad guy.
HHH: And then you fuck the good ones.
In general, a double life is when you kiss someone at night.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №42098
 23.01.2011
From a conversation with (P)Apa:
I-Pap, the cookies are over...why do you buy so little?
Question: Why do you eat so much?! to

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №42097
 23.01.2011
Hey to! A cat biting himself for the tail. I saw one, there is some problem, whether with nerve endings, or with the psyche, she does not perceive him as her own, takes him to the veterinarian. Shut up, sorry animal.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №42096
 23.01.2011
Children's cream with a string. A lot of disappointment and disappointment!!! to

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №42095
 23.01.2011
What I have in place of my brain is boiling.
Give up the pellets!

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №42094
 23.01.2011
The xxx:
Your fourth "I" wanted this)

WOW :
I am not a schizophrenic person.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Three in me.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
The fourth one we went on.)

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №42093
 23.01.2011
A task in physics
The water, heated to 110 ° C, suddenly boiled.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №42092
 23.01.2011
News on the censor: "13-year-old Norwegian scared wolves with the help of treach-metal on his mobile phone."

Well, no fucking, do you see that metal is much cooler than that pop-up guano?

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №42091
 23.01.2011
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That day today! All wet, tired and money must...
What, did you work for ninja grandmother? It is :)
I was not on holiday today. This is the story of Marina.
Specifically, me and Marion. More precisely with me.
Once upon a time!
Marinka bought a new bathroom, I told you that onpa was going. He called, said, set up a bath, come and try. I went to the parade and bought everything I needed.
WOW : Well? Do not pull!
xxx: short filled the bath this pale bath with water to the point, dressed, marinka called the type to swim and swim. And put the fox at the end. This is an acrylic bathroom!! And put her Marine and her foolish younger brother! In short, I turned all of my 95 kilograms, all the water on the floor.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You are fucking!
I’m so used to the bathroom!! That it is indestructible like a wall of blinds, like a window in my grandmother’s apartment in the Stalin house. Even if you sit down, plant flowers!
WOW: Fuck, my also wants to change the bathroom to acrylic, I was against. Let me show her, let her see.

[ + 69 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42090
 23.01.2011
The Session? That is wonderful! As a friend of mine recently said, the exams are actually a good thing. You will learn a lot of new things that you did not know before. Everything would be nothing. But my friend is a professor at the university.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №42089
 23.01.2011
Higher School of Economics. In front of the entrance to the universe stands an advertisement shield with a widely smiling young man and the inscription "There is such a profession - to protect the Motherland!"

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №42088
 23.01.2011
There is a fundamentally new idea for the plot of the porn video - actors, dressed in costumes of microbes and bacteria, engaged in reproduction in the mouth and under the toilet.

[ + 68 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №42087
 23.01.2011
The broken clairvoyant is mite 10 daze miche.)

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №42086
 23.01.2011
Dear manufacturers of stack viruses, please write a price of more than 300 rubles on your screenshots, or I am ashamed to take more for removing your creations((

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №42085
 23.01.2011
Amor: What do you think about the literacy of modern youth?
Tbl4ep: as to the orthographic disaster

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna