Paradoxically, inside the winny-pooch is a melted buratino.

Safety is above all, so I’m always in a condom when I’m driving.

If a woman cheats you, you are badly strict.

The story is 99% real. There are people in the Far East, they are called Nanais. Formerly they settled forests on the coast.
Amura and its affluents, forming villages. Historically, their main activities were fishing, hunting and gathering wildlife, well, berries, there, mushrooms. Unexpectedly unexpectedly, and its turn came in autumn gold-headed, and it was time to collect the already ripe shrimp. Well, once it came, it was necessary to gather, gathered on the road two nanayts, and went to the side of the nearby rocks, on the back of the box in the hands of a deer.
The way to them was not far, it was necessary to pass past the swallow and decide on the swallow with which to start. After choosing a suitable breakdown, the friends went to the side of the hole. When they came out on the lawn, they saw a brown-red carpet of ripe fruits spread before them. They began to gather, moving in front, then five in the back, the friends broke up on the field, then closely approaching, then increasing the distance. At one point (or not very beautiful;-)) the nannaeus Vasya felt that someone was pushing him like a elbow into his side. Remembering that except for the shareholder, who saw something interesting, it was to be no one, Vasya slowly turned around. You often find yourself in situations where
30 centimeters from your face, you find a huge bear’s beak looking at you with amazement. Vasya hasn’t been there often, moreover, never before. As it turned out, by some fateful coincidence, Mikhail Potapich also chose this lawn to enjoy the most delicious ripe berries before the winter. So they crawled on the slope, not suspecting the neighborhood of each other. But back to our hero. When I came back and saw the crap,
Vassula has rushed. Only for a second. After a moment, surprise and fear displaced the genetic code of dozens of generations of fishermen and hunters. Vasya, not fully understanding why and why, not allowing the bear to recall from surprise, tightly grabbed the bear behind his ears and cried, no, ZAORAL: AAA, then they rolled the bear down, first the bear, and next to him, clinging to his ears, Vasya. They stopped crawling at the foot of the sopka. The bear was dead. As you know, the owner of the taiga has a weak heart, how should the wild behave? To escape, to hide on a tree, but not to get behind the ears and not to weep exhausted. The bear’s heart could not stand. To the slope came Vasin comrade, there was a new problem. From fear Vasya so tightly grabbed the bear's ears that there was no way to take Vasya away from his ears :-) had to cut off the bear's ears, so they returned home, Vasya with his ears in his hands and his friend with the kittens. Two more days Vasya could not stretch his hands, and after another week his hands were unbearably painful. The story is told by a hunter, personally acquainted with the main actors, and his own eyes saw the carcass of a bear without ears.
P.S Dear deputies, mandates, and other members, please let us not so fabulously cut our Far Eastern forests, and endlessly sell it to China and to Europeans, let us keep in the vastness of our vast homeland at least small untouched places, where such small but miracles happen!

A correspondent asks a Russian tourist who refused to return from Tunisia:
Why don’t you go back, it’s dangerous?! to
- Here - the coup is over, but warmth, beaches and rest. at home –
The winter, the work and the coup have not even started.

A well-known discussion site
by mit-obv
Why does the RPC go into secular life without reading the Constitution?
by Andrei:
Well you laugh, the Constitution... they didn’t read the Bible.

A guy with a girlfriend (about the physical qwerty keyboard on the phone.
Look at how comfortable it is. All letters separately.
She: Sit now, look for the right one.
He: Soon as in a compass.
She: Sit now, look for the right...

For whom will you order? You, boys, graduate from high school and go to university to never return to your hometown, and marry in the capitals, and the girls stay! For whom will you order them to go out? Well, behind the lack of decent, developed people, and go out God knows for whom, for different makers and pindos, who only know what to drink and scandal in the club. The girls go out like that. What is life after that? You understand yourself, a educated and educated woman lives with a stupid, heavy man; if she meets some intelligent man, officer, actor or doctor, well loves, her life becomes unbearable, she runs away from her husband. And cannot be condemned!
A. P. Chekhov, “The Lights” of 1888.

I go to the bathroom, I close the door behind me, there is something funny in it... (one out there) I ask: "you want to go with me?" "Yes", he says. I skip him, demonstratively close the door behind him on a sling, I approach the toilet, I start to stretch the width and ask, “Do you want to see or touch?” The man at the same time and very much rounded eyes, the jaw falls and the face becomes red.
Then he knocks at the door and runs somewhere. by Ham!
Happiness was so possible, and so possible.

The case was in summer. I sat with a friend on a bench opposite a small lawn. In the middle of this lawn stood a girl in dark glasses, with a player, a basket in her hands, a look drilled the ground under her feet... I don’t remember how she appeared, but we in the wilderness stumbled on her, trying to understand what she was busy with. And she stood still and looked so focused, right under her feet, periodically saying something quietly. In five minutes we were ready to come and ask if she needed help. But she just raised her turtle from the grass to bleat! I put it in the basket and went home.

To me, a paranoid, it seems that the Wikipedia logo is similar to the building of Star Wars' "Death Star"?
by Kucha

Answer by mail.ru

Where can I buy a cappuccino monkey with documents?
yyy: Ready to sell a colleague, poured cappuccino, documents in order... higher education 8)

I am a dean at one of the Russian universities. I came to college, two students came to me, decided to joke about them:
I: Ladies and gentlemen, if you answer me three questions at once, I’ll give both a quote on any subject.
C: Give it up!
Q: In what year did World War II begin?
from:1939
In what year did the Great Patriotic War begin?
C: Silently RJut 1941
I: Write me a quick algorithm for converting all GIF files to PNG in Bourne Shell
These students take a leaflet, what they are advised to write, I think everything is okay, and they give me a leaflet in a minute...
C: for file name in image/*.jpg
by Do
if! file $filename gc grep -q "JPEG image data"
then continue
fi

if convert $filename ${filename%jpg}png
then echo "$filename -> ${filename%jpg}png"
else echo "$filename don't converted"
fi

Done

I: Well, I promised once... Which object to close
C: The philosophy

After that, he thought for a long time what kind of beast he taught them philosophy.

M0rgan: Even if at some point a woman is all right, then very quickly comes the moment when she begins to not be happy with the fact that she is all right.

The icebreaker Admiral Makarov is 134.85 meters long and has a displacement of 7.550 tons.
Missile cruiser Moscow - 11490 tons.
- Roman Abramovich Yacht Eclipse - length of 162,5 meters, displacement of 13000 tons.

Take the yacht, arm with rockets and send to fight with pirates.

I understood that for me the remarkable film “Through the Universe” reflected the entire system of life in Russia (not only military), with only three replicas:
Is there a reason not to serve in the army?
I am a gay transvestite of pacifist views with a tumor in the lungs.
You will go down if there is no flat foot.

I was on the bus today.
Conductor(k): Does anyone get out at the next stop?? to
Girl (D): Yes, I am going out
Q: Press the button
D: It is not pressed.
K: Because it doesn’t work.

You are a psychologist?
YYY: a little
Q: Do you have a diploma?
It is a piece))

Do you know I’m getting married?
YYY: Are you married?
xxx: yes
YYY: Then I know

Criminal case on the death of the family of Nicholas II is closed.

XXX: Fuck, they won’t put Lenin, so it will lie.