In the forest was born a tree tree, was in shock the obstetrician :D

You hear this. Do not scare. I think I like you (c)

Accounts on History:
... Chingchuk!
and yes. And now strain, integrate Qingdao with Khan. Who led the Golden Horde?

And how do you drink tea: you throw a lemon into the tea, and quickly, until it drowns, you fill it with sugar?
YYY: Well, em, in my model of the world, lemons don’t drown.

How to fight corruption in the country, if we even make envelopes in the width of banknotes.

Father Christmas! Kill the misery of all people. Fucked

Gwynbleidd

The Year of the Rabbit. The Year of the Rabbit.
Add to the salary!

All cats at night.

One of my acquaintances worked in the fun nineties in a store.
Small and wholesale distribution of garden and economic inventory.

This is what the store was called. Well, it was in the owner-director such a fantasy was unsuccessful, unsuccessfully coupled with pedantry. Not that is the essence. And to squeeze in Russia, as is the case in the rise... In general, my acquaintance manager worked there. By the way, call him Vitalik. It was at the end of autumn – the beginning of winter. The winter began, somehow snowless at all, which Vitalik did not expect, but expected, exactly the opposite, i.e. abundant snowfall (he followed the forecasts of the synoptics, miserable). And here, at the expense of these unjustified expectations, Vitalik bought for sale a batch of not quite expensive, but not quite cheap snow-gathering shoots.

In the office, the director had a simple order. If the manager has purchased the goods unliquid, and the goods are "forgotten" (i.e. not sold out for a month and a month), then:
First, the manager does not receive the prize for the next three months.
not from any part of the goods, including from others, which may
It is sold “on hurra” and lives on a “naked” and very modest salary.
“To live for one salary” (c)
Secondly, if a batch of goods is not sold in the second month, then in the third month.
Month (and subsequent, if the amounts are not covered) manager’s salary
It receives a barter in the form of this most unsold product.

Well, it is obvious that Vitalika never arranged such an arrangement. Especially since the month was coming to an end, and less than a dozen shots were sold out of the whole batch. In general, Vitalik stumbled, raised all his possible and impossible acquaintances and also found a "buyer" for the whole batch of spots. Then he joyfully called the director and said, literally:
I have agreed on everything, tomorrow we’ll buy all the boots.
and all. No more than half a word. And, yes, it should also be noted that the director of the cabinet had no separate and he sat in a common room with all his staff. And also liked the director to talk on the phone not with a cell phone in his hand, but by turning on a loud communication. That is, Vitalik’s report was heard literally all.

All this happened after lunch, and Vitalik, pleased that he turned out and did not lose his blood premium, with a calm soul decided to score for the rest of the working day.

A few hours later, something terrible happened - the clock called at 10 p.m.
"the buyer" and said that he changed his mind and he didn't need these blades.
Such sorrow the soul of Vitalik did not endure and he struck into drinking. Specifically it hit. I was so struck that I woke up from a terrible belly only after two days. Well, shaved a little, washed, healed with a bottle of beer
(Blessedly the boss looked through his fingers on such a matter on one side, and on the other - the whole of the figure was already Vitalik. And the prize was covered, and for the walk the director will twist in full, and here even the head will not be quite bo-bo).
And I went to work. On the road, Vitalik only became worse and more unhappy, because behind the windows of the bus rained rain, and the snow was not that which did not smell, and in general, the whole nature as if to say that autumn smoothly passed into spring, and winter this year went on holiday.

When he came to the store, Vitalik was very surprised. There was no bullshit in the store. Not one one. at all. To the fact that everyone looks at him somehow strange, he did not pay attention at first. Until the director ran out to meet him, held his hand, asked about his well-being, asked if he had a headache... In general, Vitalik, gently speaking, was sick. And when the director asked if Vitalik could agree there to sell the rest of the goods in the same way, and, in general, to agree on the future, Vitalik naturally stumbled on his own. The misunderstanding was another.

I will not describe how, what, and in what order it happened, and how reality was drawn, for Vitalik did not tell me this, but, in general, here is what actually happened:

After the call with the refusal of the blades, Vitalik got drunk almost immediately, reactively, and disconnected from reality for two days. During that time, the following happened. In the morning, when Vitalik had a nightmare in a drunk ugar, weather forecasters issued another forecast that some terrible and unclear cyclone is approaching the city, which carries with it terrible snowfall. After this forecast, a thin stream of buyers behind the blades pulled into the store. Well, in any case, or not, the synoptics suddenly guessed...

Managers and sellers began to whisper between themselves that Vitalik-de had found the phone of the chief meteorologist, and told him to go. On what the director to the managers bragged that the chief synoptic he knows personally, and
Vitaly does not agree to live with him. So if Vitalik agreed with anyone, then with the "Heavenly Office", and no less!

There was snow at lunch.

And so it went that the city was literally overwhelmed by the evening.
A thin stream of buyers turned into a solid stream. And by the end of the day, not only the Vitalykovs were left in the store, but all the others in general. The director was sitting on the betrayal, and thought whether he was successful in joking at the expense of Vitalik’s call to the “heavenly office” or not.
What would you think of in the place of the director? When an employee calls you, he says that he has agreed on the sale of unnecessary snowballs, and after that the snow begins and the snowballs are purchased?
I would probably be a bride as I thought.

And at night the snow suddenly turned into rain and by the end of the next day there was no trace of the snow. And Vitalik continued to sleep in the nirvana of drunk ugar and neither in his dream nor in his spirit assumed that this time the "heavenly office" and without a call was on his side, Vitalikova.

“Papa, give me 200 rubles,” said the son.
I have 500, my daughter asks.
“I need two thousand,” adds his wife.
What happened to you today? My father is surprised.
Have you forgotten? You have birthday today!

The office motivator.
I am going to pay the bill. There is a red car nearby! and Hammer. It looks like an intelligent man aged 35. A student passes by. He looks at the hammer and says loudly:
I have a member of 25 centimeters!
The man replies indiscriminately:
I am 26 at all. I feel comfortable and warm. And you continue to overcome the swarms on your hares!

I urgently wanted to become a megahueen. P.s I gave it up =)

xxx: Here is an example of a pattern break: in a store near the house, a boy in narrow jeans works, he runs in heels, he runs in the frost. You won’t believe meat!

I go on the street today. It’s not very smooth, I don’t try to walk carefully. And suddenly op, I climb on the hidden ice, I fall. The wild roast of the man who went to meet.) Well, I think okay, the day is not in vain, the mood of the person raised) I get up, shrink, I go on. Suddenly I hear "Uh, bl*t!", I turn around, and there the same man fell in the same place -) I did not laugh, it was really slippery there.

of a duplicate film. The man stops the car. The driver looks at his jacket and asks: Armany? Translator: Do you have money?

Example of female logic
A man (absolutely sober) calls his (not less sober) girlfriend:
Maybe we’ll meet today, go for a walk?
She: No, I do not want.
He: But why?
I don’t like when you’re drunk.
He: But I am sober like a glass!
She says: Drink it!

Oh how to understand it?! to

F0 (u$n1k
Hi, my name is Andrei, my quarry is burning, let's friends repentance no more

In the discussion about the fall of Skype:

XXX posted at 4:48
I am amused by Linux philosophy.

Linux community probably released 5 patches, until they realized that Skype rejected, not Ubuntu

XXX is
I wanted to sleep and now fuck.
YYYY
Do you want fucking?
XXX is
I want
YYYY
Fuck you here.

The Russian soul... they write on all kinds of semi-fabricates such as naggets in a package of 12-14 pieces... and the fox would at least once have been 13 or 14...

This is shit.
I found a unique person.
I discovered something new in a long-known
Doll: Our programmer works at a strip club on the weekend. He says that self-esteem should not fall.
This attracted one of the girls - a saleswoman, began dating him.
Butterfly: Proger says his self-love is now satisfied and there is no need in the club
doll: and, in fact, breeds her every day for sex in the most exotic places with the formulation "well, then suddenly I’ll break up and start striptease dancing?"