I work as a surgeon in a small town, late in the evening urgently called to work. Drawing I go to the garage for the car, on the road are bound 2 copniks from the series "You do not smoke, or call for nothing", not long thinking I hit one in the jaw, the other with the leg in the breath. I get to work. I give a consultation and already coming home I meet in the reception of those two gopars. They sit telling how the bandits attacked them and took their phones and beat them. When they see me, they change their faces and, without speech, run to the door and hide at night.

from the hub (a topic about the database, allowing to determine by the IP address of the visitor his country and city):

My city has been defined as Riga. Sadly, but porn sites define the city more accurately.

Zhenechka: aaaaaaah... pipet... you mores)
Zhenechka: She laughed loudly
Zhenechka: Really
Would you see what I imagined...

Worse than loneliness is loneliness that no one can even tell.
c) Sj

Vladivostok in the early night. I approached the Versailles hotel to meet a well-known foringer there, and I stumbled upon a strange company at the entrance.
The black-haired cute girl, heated up until she was ready for a jet take-off, slightly swung and something hot twisted on the American English four domestic studios.
The boys didn’t even mourn—they clumped up like the rattled stuccoes from Easter Island, who will stand until they just collapse. Her flaming English speech they listened to with this expression of the face. The guys seemed like they had just struck their heads with a bottle of vodka, or maybe two - it was hard to judge.

My acquaintance in the hall had not yet been seen, so I went out to the fresh air, listening to the wonderful sound of the American girl. From the first few seconds, I understood that the main reason for the stupor of these guys was a complete brain collapse when trying to understand what she was saying.
She had Italian roots. At the speed of a four-wheeled anti-aircraft machine gun, it dropped upon them inexhaustible reserves of thick youth slang and temperament. I understood from fifth to ten, although before this meeting I believed I knew the language.
As for the guys, by their faces it was obvious - of all said by the girl, they best understood the four most frequently repeated words - "strip-bar", "fak" with and without gerundium, and "mani".
With the latter, they had a tension – after their conversations in Russian, I understood that the mania were still in the hotel’s restaurant.

In fact, the girl tried to explain to them that she was shocked, how much they threatened her that evening, that she understands - it's a whole fortune for them, and that it's not their fault, if in this country they earn less and such prices in restaurants, that she's sure - in the future they will earn a lot of money, and in the second course it's difficult to do in her own country, that she knows - in Russia guys pay for girls, and the opposite offer from the girl can be taken by them as an insult, but she really wants to spend this night with them, and so she will pay for everything on her own.
That “all” included in her speech such points and promises that I was very jealous of the guys. For her, the night had just begun.

Any man in a similar language barrier situation would slowly repeat something simpler, such as “I pay for everything” and reinforce with gestures.
But it was important for the girl to convey all this speech design in such a form and in such a sequence that the guys did not get offended and refused.
In addition, it was expressed in a joke-informal manner, so that it didn’t get as boring as I have now in the translation.
And she was also upset by the plans she hoped to bring them in. The most powerful and sober brain would boil, trying to express it all in that English that the guys were still available after a fun party.

After listening carefully to her, after a short meeting, one of the guys finally gave birth to an outraged phrase:
“Strip club no – no man, you go home.” Another immediately stood in opposition and explained in roughly the same English that two of them were already really time for a fairy tale, but he and a friend with great pleasure will sit with her in the bar. But not more than half an hour!

Desperate, the girl took out her notebook and began to overlist it. He finally found the right phrase. I’m sure she has an absolute musical hearing. Close to the original, especially successfully capturing the intonation itself, she cried out to the entire adjacent section of Svetlan Street:

“Let’s go to the bar, I’ll do it for you!”

Upon tapping the book, she added with a feeling already from herself, also in Russian.
“They have already fallen...”

The boys looked at him, and one of them said to the other:
“Call Tollan, maybe he’ll lend me.”

– Dear, you should go to the gym, throw away the surpluses that appear.
You too, dear, have a lot of things.
I am a woman. I am forgiven.
And I am a man. I am poofing.

KOrsar45: watched a cartoon with a cousin on a compass
KOrsar45: And there the chief villain said, “Now no one will stop me!”
KOrsar45: the sister cried out, “I will stop!”
KOrsar45: and clicked on "Stop" :)

- I have 99% of incoming SMS - calls from you know who.
What about Volan De Mort?

In Kiev, we have an establishment called In the apple. It’s like a bar, I’ve never been there.

Here they hang in the corner. And it turns out, when you look on one side, you see "In the apple" and on the other - "point". That’s what I understand, creative.)

xxx: an employee with such external data is not dismissed
XHH: Usually they go to the decree themselves.

The Trail:
All morning I ran around the area in search of a working ATM to buy a pack of cigarettes and gum :) After the third store where there was no delivery, in despair stumbled onto the tent, where I was sold what I needed and said: - " The quest is completed mission accomplished "...well how not to think here?

XX: How do you feel about giraffes?
YY: Directly

The grill chicken is the only animal to which the proverb does not fit "If you want to live, know how to turn!"

I lie down, I cannot sleep. I ask my husband to sing me a song. He thinks for a long time and begins to sing (with Mhatov pauses after each line):
Sleep my sleep.
...
Fire in the house.
...
Birds are asleep in Saducey
...
The fish fell asleep in the прудуууу
...
Not just spy barshawk.
Half an hour left.

Conversations between preschool children:

1: I wonder, but how does this Santa on glasses in winter patterns do?
So, you are CH? Do you know what? He has such a magical poop. And he said to them: "Thousands! The rain! The Week! Here is a surprise for you!"

Announcements in one of the musical groups in contact:

"The group requires a bassist.

We play all the fucking things."

X - I want to buy a gift to my wife! and :)
Y is OMG. When did you get married? 0 - O
X is a good name xD

News of Yandex
"In Zaporozhye, police and ambulance were chasing a wounded suicide man"

Opinions about the router:
The advantage is stability!
Disadvantages: You can’t get into the water :D

Screenshot from the film Skyline:
In the struggle with aliens, the atomic bomb did not help us, so we recorded their handball.