bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №37658
 21.10.2010
and
Mexican police seized 105 tons of marijuana

X is
= 0

and
The most offensive thing for drug dealers is that it was not a special operation - the police carried out ordinary patrol and did not like a column of cars.

and
Epic File

[ + 117 - ] Comment quote №37657
 21.10.2010
1996: "AutoVAZ will produce a sedan for officials and a folk car for citizens and peasants," Viktor Chernomyrdin said. The aid is estimated to be 15 trillion. Rubles, which need to be provided to AutoVAZ, will not only cover the current needs of the enterprise, but will also contribute to the development of production.

1999: "AutoVAZ will produce a car on the basis of a German sedan for two years," Vladimir Putin said, arguing for the allocation of aid to the plant in the amount of 13 billion. The ruble.

2002: "AutoVAZ will be competitive within three years", - said Mikhail Kasyanov. To do this, it needs aid of 17.5 billion. The ruble.

2009: "AutoVAZ will become a global brand within three years", said Alexei Kudrin. The aid is estimated at 25 billion. Rubles, which need to be provided to AutoVAZ, will not only cover the current needs of the enterprise, but will also contribute to the development of production.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37656
 21.10.2010
Continuing the topic of values.
In the glorious city of Chelyabinsk, I observed something of an uncertain shape in the store with a price mark:
"Coffee cake"... I even thought about it...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №37655
 21.10.2010
I heard on the radio:
A dojarka in Karelia, in order to make her drunk man feel, gave him two spots, from which he died.

Really, do not argue with the dogs!

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №37654
 21.10.2010
Corvus: I can't take my eye off

duality: Korvus: it has to get something sharp, then it will jump out normally

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №37653
 21.10.2010
Anahronic
You need the homeland.
XCr
Picked by!! by Ollo! Write a letter!! to
Anahronic
I'm not a military commander - don't pretend to be a dawn))
XCr
and (
Anahronic
A brief question about C#
XCr
Picked by!! by Ollo! Write a letter!! to

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37652
 21.10.2010
We have a couple of foreigners working in the company - a Belgian and an Englishman... and periodically issue pearls in Russian. Here is a small collection of them:
Do not be foolish.
Do not pull the rubber.
Don’t pump barrels on me.
I do not want to lose you.
I sit on a powdered barrel.
Sorry, I can't say, we have a zoo today.
My hair is on my ass.
What a contract! They have to kiss our pups.
Just let’s make sure there are no two-end sticks.
I am like a crumbling mouse, like a blue candy.
I said A, let’s do B.
I need a rose like a tulip.
Everything here will be closed with a copper basin.
Dear, I can take you anywhere.
I am standing in front of the road and I don’t know where to go.
You don’t think of me as a fool, I know that too.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №37651
 21.10.2010
Selling of motorcycles:
The karma of the motorcycle is excellent: he drove a lot of women - sat down and gave.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №37650
 21.10.2010
What do you cook for dinner?
He makes beer.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №37649
 21.10.2010
I was attacked at the entrance today.
Freeuser: who?? to
Between the second and third floor
Lenko: we just in the area the light fell, I had nothing to do - I went to take the rubbish
Lenko: And here between the second and the third, in the darkness, someone picked up my garbage bag and ran away))))
Freeuser :-))))))))
Lenko: I was so dull that for a minute probably dumb in the darkness as a frog crawled
Then the rainbow went home.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №37648
 21.10.2010
There is an action at the institute. Bring the student to the middle of November and get an automaton on any subject (1 student- 1 subject)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37647
 21.10.2010
The upper street. Petrovsky 35 d. 10 and 3 entrance. There is a red cat, furry, educated, licking. Probably someone threw them out because they were cared for and with manners. When I go out to smoke, he sits next to me, tests for compatibility with comp and other techniques have not been carried out. Whoever can, catch a beast.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №37646
 21.10.2010
ploughlike_elk: However, the absence of lies in the list of the seven deadly sins of Christianity somehow questions the rest of the concept...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №37645
 21.10.2010
If during a rush with a woman in the ash, leave for 10 minutes in the shed for cigarettes without warning! then on the return to the comp 100% to discover the chain of events from "You are my cat, forgive me, I am wrong, only do not be silent", to "Gandon, between us everything is over"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №37644
 21.10.2010
The girl gave:
I have never even smiled! This is with a member in the ass!
OO

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37643
 20.10.2010
Janim: Birds gathering...why do they always circle over the house?
GNK: They’re waiting for you...you’re going out and they’re going to fuck.
They circle over others.
GNK: They were mistaken at home

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №37642
 20.10.2010
The phrase "When you sit over the phone in the toilet" struck me into a light stupor))

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №37641
 20.10.2010
I was driving somehow to myself in the Hakan district from Vladivostok. I see — on the road votes a girl aged 16-17, light with a puppet face. and stopped. Drop the request. Well, why not throw the king, especially on the way... We talk. It turns out, my blond girl lives in the village of Barabas (kilometers 50 from the sea). I am interested:
Who are you working for, can you find out?
The waterfall.
Do you have sharks?
What is a sea without sharks?
And the big ones?
- Yes, no, the coloured will be 1.5 meters, and the gray-blue will be up to 2.5 meters, but they rarely go there.
and dangerous? The girl asks tremendously.
Any shark greater than 20 centimeters is considered potentially dangerous.
Do you dive in winter?
Hm, a strange logic of women, I still answer:
- It is cold, we try not to dive, there are many problems with the charges, and the navigation for the small fleet is closed from November 1.
And then the girl gives out this, after which I had to stop, because I could not keep the car for twenty minutes:
What do sharks eat when you don’t dive in winter?

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37640
 20.10.2010
xxx (16:40:03 20/10/2010)
Everyone loves small kittens, little puppies, little chickens and chickens... and only a little chickens don’t like anyone.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №37639
 20.10.2010
I sit and fall into a precipice. Called one company to break the computer. I came, drove everyone away, I sat down and opened the system. I feel like something is focused on my leg. I look down and I shake! It turns out that I was scratched by some cracked metal stuff! Three minutes later, I figured it was a tortoise. All covered with office buttons. Apparently, my admiration for the evolution of the office was clearly written on my rod, because a local native woman rushed to explain - "The turtle is all trying to take on the hands, and she doesn't like it, and she bites it. They were dressed so that they’t fall. Again, they stopped attacking it." and immediately adds – "It is not sold!";
I didn’t even start to ask myself the overwhelming question – and why are the scratches multi-colored? I am sitting and suffering with the question.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna