I lie with my husband (sysadmin of a small set - 105 kg at my 55 kg), decided to kiss. He is inspired, begins to cuddle deliciously in response and falls over the whole body from above, which is why I have a short breath.
Are you excited?
I am suffocating :[

I was once in the elevator and for nothing to do decided to look at the ceiling, and there is written: "Ab*lo go down"

[13:56:09] Ikshot: Hohma: Just ordered a toy for PSP (Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep) in video games. The courier calls and asks: "And at what time can I deliver the maximum?"
I answer, “By midnight... but as you get closer to midnight, it will be more and more difficult for you to find me.”
At the other end of the tube there is silence, a pause... and then she asks so carefully (with some fear): "Why?".
Well my answer is "Because it’s dark!"

The fox
When was the last time you went to a psychiatrist?
YYYY
If he is in the military, then at 18.
YYYY
But I don’t remember one of them.
YYYY
He was in a mask and with a sword.
YYYY
Speaking in Turkish
YYYY
I ate cookies and squeezed from under the desk.

Dialogue in the trauma point (01.15)
What about you?
Something, my hand broke.

xxx (00:23): Somebody is constantly turning the light on the first floor, and when you come home in the evening, there is a chance to turn up the stairs and break your neck. I walked into the entrance today and was surprised, the light was! I approached the elevator, and above my head on the bulb hangs a sheet: "If you drop the bulb again, I will find you and twist it in your ass!", and then the inscription went with another handwriting: "You will not find it and it will not be," and then the record was tragically broken... I even got somewhat squeezed on the bulb to watch.

- we go with a couple, there water channellers do something in the lounge, drop there a hose on a rope)) we pass by - I ask, "Well, what, how to catch the men?"" and one of them to me: "normal, what we will share" O_o

They are dangerous.

The atheist humbly sang in the church choir. Well paid.
by Mark Alishin

The Americans eat hot dogs, the French eat frogs, and we Russians, what’s worse? This reasonable question was asked by the people of the glorious
Dmitry in the past. Until then, the winter waves in Dmitrov were somewhat sunny - the citizens are drunk, they will burn the cheek, their eyes in the salyut, their mouths in the salad...

So this time the program of the holiday decided to decorate with games for adults. Not the best for kids, right? Games have come up with a few - fighting a wall on a wall for a snow fortress, shooting in a tirade on the drawn women and what I am going to tell you.

The hero of this game was a ruby, round-little blunt. Blinds baked in a pavilion in the city square. And the game is this - whoever eats the most blines, the money prize and a beam of excitement. The losers of the record, on the contrary, pay the cost of the eaten, and from that same money grows the jackpot for the next winner.

On the evening of the oil Sunday, the deadly record was 52 blins, and the jackpot grew to 22,000 rubles, because four dozen applicants were unable to reach the record. One after another, people departed from the pavilion - with round, painful stomachs and weakened wallets.

But here, it seems, a serious candidate approached the pavilion - the school.
Vasily Egorovich, a real mountain man, a meter ninety height and width with a barrel. He went hand in hand with his wife, a small teacher of physical education.

Oh, Vasya, twenty two thousand are playing! Try it, right? - said
The Wife. You will buy me a new coat. For the second year, before
People are uncomfortable.
“No, dear, your coat is good. I need a laptop for work.
Better to...
My wife’s face was terrible.
Better not to argue. The coat is such a coat, he gave up.

Vasily Egorovich stood up in front of the pelvis with cloves and began to quickly throw them into his mouth. The test circles disappeared one after another in his enormous body. The cook said loudly:
Seventeen, eighteen and nineteen.

In the fourth decade, the speed dropped significantly. He began to look at every shit before eating. At the beginning of the fifth decade of Vasily
Egorovich became suspiciously heavy and pulled off his jacket. The forty-eighth shit had eaten already in pieces, with tame pauses. Finally, taking in his hands the forty-ninth crap, Vasily Egorovich squeezed his lips and issued some sort of nutshell.
No more... I can... he whispered.
What are you, Vassula? The fool? We don’t have money to pay for.
Nothing eaten! Eat it!
Vasily Egorovich looked at the shit and turned away. – is
It does not go down.
My wife was pale.
What are you standing? I was upset. Go home for the money.
Oh, and it is true. Sorry, Vasenko, the teacher of physics has turned
and ran home.

As soon as his wife disappeared in the crowd, Vasily Egorovich smiled insidiously, flashed at the audience and immediately threw in his mouth the forty-nine throw, and a dozen others!
“Your twenty-two thousand,” the cook gave him the money.
I will buy a laptop. And the coat to his wife - later, when he learns not
Disputes with the head of the family. - said Vasily Egorovich, addressing the spectators.
I’ll go and glad her that you can’t pay for blinks.

The Sociological Service conducts a survey:
How many times a week do you have sex with your wife?
Well... once ten.
That’s almost twice as much as your neighbor.
It is still my wife.

XXX: I fucked the copywriter. She relaxed yesterday and here she is! I know how to swallow...

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The Zac!

yyy: I think it was necessary to carry out the entire census under the slogan: Break the census, increase the census! Ahahahahahahahahah!

She: You are a real friend.
Will we have friendly sex?? to
You are no longer my friend.

X: Greetings friends
and darroff! How are you living?
I kill the robbery.
You will not be robbed.

Preamble: My friend has no heating, the pipes are cold.

Olga (one class) (16:44:04 14/10/2010)
Dad came today. I was finally waiting for the tearers who made the heating!!! I was waiting, waiting for them. They all said they were going and didn’t go naturally. As a result, he called there once again, said that he himself turned off the battery and now fills the neighbors with hot water!!! In the end came an accident and cut water all over the house )))))))))) hahaha. But they did everything.

Stopped the mints, a type of habit.Long basarily.Compiled the protocol then broke said to drive...In the protocol wrote: Give 200r. I asked for 500 r.

On Fridays I am kind.
Today is Wednesday...
That is it, stupid shit!

From Habr:
Putin signed a resolution on deducting the authors of 1% of the cost of equipment and clean disks

xxx: I spiraled (forced spiral) Not found for sale) disc of the band "Drochey Wildstyle". From the disc I bought, this 1% will surely fall to the band "Durning Wild", and not to some pop singer?

YYY: Well what are you. The news clearly shows where the money will go: "Nikita Mikhalkov's birthday is next week, and they will give him a gift."

zzz: That is, the money is going to go to the Drawing Wild, but not to the group.

Stimulate the spread of ubuntu - hand over your school to OSEP!

Talk to my brother about terrorism.
He said, “Sweat them with logic, kill the unbeliever, and you will enter Paradise.”
I: Oh, their 40 virgins are attracted...I don’t understand what the joke is, in 40 days they will end...and maybe earlier.
Are they one-time ones?? to
I: O_O

In Paradise, according to Islamic teaching, the righteous men will live with their guru - black-eyed full-breast virgins, restoring virginity every morning.
I said this to my brother, and he replied:
I can’t understand that they like to fight in the blood.

A planet disappeared from the map of the sky. As it turned out later, American scientists simply wiped out the lenses of the telescope, which they have not done for the last 8 months.