bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №35318
 31.08.2010
XXX: Last year in school.
xxx: at me
I will miss school.
YYY: It will pass quickly.
YYY: 5-6 years of the institute will beat out this fool.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №35317
 31.08.2010
With a girl in bed. I am tired after a day of work and a couple of liters of beer. She wants sex... Dialogue:
d) Let me
Do I have to give?
D is not me. And after the break!
I am????? to
(D) Oh I said it!! to
Ride for a long time

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №35316
 31.08.2010
by samuel_volkov
There’s something "not that" in the wonderful product "Bier Tsarske Žiguli". A dissonance somewhat sounds to me in this name, somewhat like in "Mythy Plaza".

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №35315
 31.08.2010
Computer experts at the ECC of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation were drawn to check the system with 200 GB of porn. As I learned - hz, but she called them and told them to check ALL... if little what phrase will emerge in the process...
The third day I watched...

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №35314
 31.08.2010
Mother : my son! Are you a drug addict?! to
What are you, Mom? You do not allow me!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №35313
 31.08.2010
Appeal for one advertising company:
Our company has purchased from you banner fabric DLS 7006 fr matte 500 gr. 3,2m (10.07 13 ser 144), billboard No. 4133 of 26.07.2010 It turned out that the banner when printed absorbs more paint than the skin of a Christian baby (don’t ask where we know it). Thus, the ready-made patterns are very pale, which does not please our customers, who have already returned to us 19 drive meters of the printed banner. Please at our next order make us a discount in the amount of the cost of these 19 meters, and in the future warn about the features of the material you are selling
Dear colleagues! We have long our long-standing cooperation, but the latest batch of paint has somewhat confused us. Its quality is significantly worse than the previous parties, and we are afraid, as if the old lady of the pitch did not smile to our plotters. I would like to believe that this will not happen again. Thanks for understanding.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №35312
 31.08.2010
XXX is a miracle! 2 users changed the password themselves.
YYY: You have to give chocolate medals.
xxx: Password changed - canvas, screenshot sent to jpg - canvas.
xxx: Screenshot sent bmp inserted in the doc - scratched the lullaby.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №35311
 31.08.2010
The group "Ranetki" is 5 years old!
Judging by the songs, the actors too.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №35310
 31.08.2010
M: I hesitated: I have already deleted the questionnaire, and they are all cheating: you were not interested. The dating site, bl. The Fuel.
Q: Who did you meet there? and ;)
M: With a girl.
D and KAG?and :)
M: Honestly, I didn’t quite understand how to arrange my personal life with this method. and :)
So how?
He eventually spit and began to meet you. and :)
D: to go
A good alternative
Couldn't you get to know Laval? No trouble! Start meeting with Lydia!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №35309
 31.08.2010
I was pleased with the achievements of V.V. For the past two months, Chuck has been smoking in the side

Managing an aircraft as a “second pilot” during fire extinguishing:

Article of 11.5. Violation of safety rules of operation of aircraft. Control of an aircraft by a person who does not have the right to control it,
It entails the imposition of an administrative fine in the amount of two thousand to two thousand five hundred rubles.
Vladimir Vladimirovich told about his impressions about the Lada Kalina. I didn’t drive at high speeds, but 140-145 we went.
Article of 12.9. Exceeding the established speed
by p. 3) entails the imposition of an administrative fine in the amount of one thousand to one thousand five hundred rubles.
The bus on the Amur route:
4 is Departure in violation of traffic rules on the side of the road intended for opposite traffic.
deprivation of the right to drive vehicles for a period of four to six months.
Advertising of cars...............
Article of 14.9. Restriction of competition by authorities, local self-government bodies
imposing an administrative fine on officials in the amount of fifteen thousand to thirty thousand rubles.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №35308
 31.08.2010
There is a request for authorization. I watched the infu - a boy 14 years old. Click on "Refuse" In half an hour, this is:
Who are you that need me? It is stupid! Are you adding to me? You are 29 years old. Go to...!!Do you answer your wife? If the wife. Go to...! If not, let’s have sex. I will fuck you. Do you want? You will be my prostitute. I will be your daddy. Go to the bedroom. I want you.

I cry...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №35307
 31.08.2010
Demographic hole in Russia: after 2012 Russian universities will accept those who have successfully submitted 6 photographs.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №35306
 31.08.2010
<web47_> is a mobile mobile highway, while Putin is sleeping, it is moving further.
<Arino> in the roll
<arino> wowa drives a roll of the road with him
<arino> and remain satisfied with motorways everywhere
<web47_> designation of the project "Route 4"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №35305
 31.08.2010
He lost his head, so life continued.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №35304
 31.08.2010
We were in the company of Kazakh. He was instructed to take part in the PW training. In school he studied until the third grade, then passed with his father horses. At the age of 18, the father brought the director of the school a horse, received an attestation for his son Jomart and sent him to the army. He read our hero with difficulty, and to write from ten years... learned.
While sitting at classes in a secret class, he swallowed a wolf, but could not remember a name. To him, it is a tumble that the display is a set of meaningless sounds. With tears in his eyes, he asked the squadron to put him to wash the toilets, to shake the barracks at night, but not to force him to teach what he could not imagine. His family lived in Yurt without electricity.
Stallone went on principle. You don’t know, we learn, you don’t want, we force. How do you learn the Chinese “War and Peace”?
And here our Jomart sat in his free time in a closed secret classroom and poured tears on the secret literature.
Once, when I was day-to-day on the CPC, our parents came to our Kazakh. They arrived for a week, the time before the return train was three hours. Our squadron came out to them and said that your son is the dumbest of his soldiers. That if they had raised him better, they could have been sitting with them at the stall for three hours now, and so, your backward son, is sitting now ten steps away from them and teaching the names of the blocks. Staley took a net with candy and bursacks, gave honor, turned around and left.
Jomart’s parents hugged, cried and went home.
I have never met anyone who was capable of such a miserable act.
But the time went, the Kazakh did not advance in writing the word "mama" and in the operation of the height meter "PRV-16".
Starley did not give up, he urged the sergeants to arrange a difficult life for Jomart. But the work he was not afraid and there was no reason to beat him somehow.
The sergeants decided to subdue the Kazakh.
In part, it was announced that a general from Moscow arrived in the days with a check.
We wandered for days and nights, bringing order and preparing for the construction inspection.
The sergeants took the machine machine of the Kazakh, took it to the workshops and polished it there on the machine to the mirror glow.
They pointed out to the poor guy that if they ask, keep silent, you bet, we will kill.
Suddenly the general arrived. We were raised by alarm and built on the square.
Imagine all the machines are black, and the Kazakh shines like mercury, not a single black spot. You will not pass. The general slowly approached, took the machine machine in his hands and shouted: "Comrade of soldiers, this is your weapon!!!"? to
Why is it so glowing!!! Why did you crack down!!? to
Comrade Major, I am not a demos. I have a pasta goya. must
A clean machine.
He showed the general a cloth and showed him how he was a machine machine. The general took a cloth, losing her a black machine near the standing. 2 minutes to 2 minutes.
Commander of the company, this soldier to me!
The rotting marched.
General: - Comrade Captain, for the poor condition of the personal weapons of the soldiers of the company entrusted to you, I announce you a penalty!
Comrade of soldiers, get out!
and Eat!
Jomart is out.
General: Comrade of soldiers, for the diligence and diligence shown in the care of personal weapons, I announce you a short-term leave for 10 days, not counting the road. No more than three machines, to the hole erase.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №35303
 31.08.2010
A father takes his son to the toilet.
You can judge a person by what he reads in the bathroom. Here is
I read “War and Peace” for the third time.
Forssites, grandfather – the Red Wheel of Solzhenitsyn! What are you reading?
Cheap brochures of stupid jokes for three pennies...What does it say?
- Oh, Dad, that constipation should be treated, not proud of it!

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №35302
 31.08.2010
In the cafeteria, near the entrance, right in front of the toilet door - a sign: "We have self-service.." Fuck, I wanted someone to help.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №35301
 31.08.2010
Woman: and my goose here like that night played with my hand))
The Woman: Oh
I am talking about the chick))
The Wife: The Cat!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №35300
 31.08.2010
The UK. Several wealthy residents of London decided to make a gift and bought the most expensive truffle in the world in a fold. For a 850 gram mushroom, the British paid $53,000. Unfortunately, no one has ever managed to enjoy the delicacy. After 4 days in the refrigerator, the truffle broke.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №35299
 31.08.2010
X: We had two armored helicopters in the city.
X: all roads were excavated and all the villages of the FSB expanded to the presence of weapons
Z is
X: People went, and around the city all the roads were broken deep, so that the people did not shastle.
X: Now I wonder who will bury them.
X: and as he was riding on the yellow caline... also laughed
X: goes, goes.. then sits in his jeep comfortable, and as again to the settlement to enter, so again for the view sits

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