In our family, the rights and duties are distributed equally: the wife has the rights, I have the duties.

One official of the State Circus attacked a clown for not supporting him, gently speaking, stupid initiatives. I decided to put him in the shadow. But the clown was of merit, loved by the audience and respected by the bosses. In other words, a strong nuts.
Then, under the motto: "Road to the Young", this official pushes at the top of the new criteria for the qualification commission in the genre of clowns. (Those who did not pass, according to the rules at the time, were driven to the second or even third plan.) And the main parameter for the new requirements is the age up to 35 years. Professionalism only follows.
Commission is mandatory. A clown over 50, so, according to the official, he has no chances.
And here, the qualification in the past, the official gets the documents obtained. And there, black on white, it is written, "The age matches." The result is that the qualification has passed.
It turned out how. The clown began performing at the age of 12, naturally, initially in a pair with an experienced master. And then only one. It is unknown whether he was warned of age restrictions or not, but before the commission itself he decided that it was time to take the student. They turned into a duet with a student. A duet’s age is defined as the average of two. And in the criterion "up to 35" they fit with the reserve.

I worked as a small businessman for five years. It smells like a tractor. I was well earned: firefighters, sanepidem station, mints, district officials and officials from the municipality, taxpayers and even a customs officer. I alone, for some reason, did not earn.

to this:

It seems to me that our automotive industry is covered only by those who can do nothing else with their own hands.

Really read instead of "Observed" - "Observed"

The fucking. When he lived alone, he took a dog and, without stressing his brain, named the cowboy by his name. Four years have passed, now we live three - with a wife and a dog. Recently, I began to notice that somewhat strange neighbors are looking at me around the venue...And only recently I realized when I listened to what my wife said: "Max, eat!""Max, did you laugh again?""Max, fu! Fu I said!" How can I now explain this to my neighbors?? to

When my brother was studying at the military school, their commander was Chmyrev. And all the students he called sons.
And then he was replaced by a son...and all of him became a whip.
This is not a joke, it is a reality =)

Our admin has a fun poster. Drawed iodine with a sword and the inscription - "Size does not matter". and :)

- I, a fool, bought on "Swimming in the open sea with dolphins"
Did they almost drown?
and no. They did not throw. But they all had enormous members with whom they touched me. And the nose of the cowards. I could not wash afterwards. The mind, of course, understood that once - not a swimmer, but...

I read the news tape:

A court has banned Volvo from being the safest car.

O_O

Why when late to the lesson, the teachers do not accept the reason:"I read an article about controlled thermonuclear reaction", but the words "Ura" pass on: "I slept"?

xxx - today yopt
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx - so sweet
XXX from the morning
XXX - I will cure you.
xxx - spit in the eye
XXX in 30 minutes
XXX - Grandmother
Oh my God, look here.
xxx - spit in the eye
xxx - shrink
XXX - Mom in 15 minutes
XXX - What is it?
XXX - Looking Up
xxx - herac plunged yopt
xxx - shrink
xxx - who invented the yopta to make this hideout
XXX - The Fuck
XXX - 3 times in a row
XXX - here and trust your relatives, look at the fuck...

This is the question to the inspector:

>>I decided to check how many people remember when I had my birthday. I am changing the date for today. Over the course of the day I get a lot of congratulations and many fun messages, bla bla bla...

Regarding the people who have congratulated you - can you tell a clue when at least a couple of them have their birthday? Or should everyone remember only your doctor? Curiously simple.

I am not painted like a child. One morning I opened the door in pyjamas with giraffes, so I was told to call the elders.

Tomorrow, the fascist parade will take place in Latvia.
Normal Latvians, if any, go out with them, rolling out the flags with the rainbow! Turn the fascist parade into a pedestrian parade!

I just learned from a colleague that he is George though, but still Yura, Igor and Jora :) I call my girlfriend who is also familiar with him.

I: You can imagine, Jura, with whom I am working is not Igor, but Jora!
Are you talking about goose?

It was long and loud :)

ATM (19:05:00 9/03/2010)
The Blue Idiot!
ATM (19:05:04 9/03/2010)
I’ll find the scarf.
ATM (19:05:10 9/03/2010)
I’ll count what fucking you are.
shot (19:05:28 9/03/2010)
89.178.90 and 125
ATM (19:05:38 9/03/2010)
My threshold is broken, but I will find it.
shot (19:05:54 9/03/2010)
Bratislava 14 and 38
ATM (19:06:14 9/03/2010)
I don’t have a machine, come a bit of shit, because I’m going to go there.
ATM (19:06:43 9/03/2010)
Why tired of coming? Fuck you, I knew it.
shot (19:06:57 9/03/2010)
Give me an address
ATM (19:07:03 9/03/2010)
Go naked, I am not home.
shot (19:07:10 9/03/2010)
and where?
ATM (19:07:15 9/03/2010)
There are 8 guests here. Come fucking
shot (19:07:25 9/03/2010)
Give me an address
ATM (19:07:29 9/03/2010)
Fuck we go.
shot (19:07:36 9/03/2010)
Where is?
ATM (19:07:49 9/03/2010)
(A user has added you to the ignored list)

Negotiations are ongoing between the operators of the big three.
I was present as a consultant to our director (D1) on our own services.

D2 - Well, the prices of high-tech services are low, you are not a newbie, why dump?
D3 - High-tech services for us - a new market, we need somehow "****" to shake (look at our director).
D1 - (turning to me, quietly so) "what in the ass of high-tech services"?
I have been such and such, for three years as launched, leaders in the market...
D1 - Huyace O_o (turning to D2 and D3) - Cranes two of us shake, if I knew about them, and we became leaders, then now "there is no earth’s wave"

The title of the article in the news about the car: "Porsche - what to expect in the future"
One of the first comments: "Who are we?"

It is funny. I live in a small mining town in the south of Kuzbass. We here on local TV showed a story about how our militia after long operational actions was able to calculate the drug point, but the drug point itself was never shown.
People ride with laughter because the location of all the drug spots can be seen with the naked eye. The narcissists, in order not to burn the office, approach the drug dealer’s house from the back and the drug dealer drops the dose on the thread from the window, and the snow behind the houses is not cleaned and the paths that stand in the house are very eloquently hinted, and even more eloquently hinted on the narcissists who stand alone near the houses, among the snowstorms. Around a clown.

I am late for a couple. I run through the corridor and overtake the philosopher who will lead my couple. And the devil pulled my tongue and said, “I’ll run faster than you!”and "
I haven't seen such a fast run before :D