bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №24928
 17.01.2010
From the correspondence on the wall in contact:

It is like a terrier. If you put all the parts of the alarm in a closed box and shake for a very long time, then on a term, at any time these parts will still gather in the working alarm.

WOW: Dico, I apologize for entering the conversation, but the topic of the alarm and the terrier came straight into my soul. I think that’s what cars do in Russia :D

All parts of the alarm clock are placed in a closed box, shake for a long time. Everything that is not a wake-up alarm is our autoprom. :D

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №24927
 17.01.2010
A guy who accidentally found his girlfriend in the pop-up advertisement of a prostitute site, and then ordered her and realized that it was really she. I remember you. Do you have faith in humanity?

[ + 105 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24926
 17.01.2010
XXX: It was a joke. We went on the 14th with Anka on the catch that is next door. I left the house and approached her entrance. I waited for her to come down from the 5th floor. here to me suits such a typical hop of anecdotes and even with a hanging bag, I became scary, dark, around no one, and I am already in skis, far from escaping. And he asks, “Well, sweetheart, do you have seeds?” I am in horror, cuddling: Ddaaa... he opens the package, gets a mandarin ball and stretches me: well, as if with the old new year you!!! be to be. And calmly went on. Instead of skating, we sat on the tribunes and scratched the mandarines. I believe in New Year’s Miracles!! It is :)))

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №24925
 17.01.2010
Remember what social advertising used to be like? "Petya, so many years, does that and that, does not smoke".
Fuck, it’s time to do something new. "They are is studying. Likes the girls. He holds a session. There is nothing in the book!"

[ + 105 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24924
 17.01.2010
to this
to this

Sexy little girl:
Where do you look at porn photos, videos of girls such smooth beautiful intimate places, just as if there was nothing grown there!!!))... What are they doing for that???! to
The McSim:
They do photoshop for that.

Damn)))) guys))) with one little quote you cured a large complex in one quiet girl))) I thought I was alone there even after the most painful hair removal is not perfectly smooth... I do not ask to bring anywhere, just THANK YOU to the author!
Aristotle, Desi is not.
_________________________________________________________________________________
It needs to be specified)

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №24923
 17.01.2010
Quote from the FPANZYZ newspaper:
Many Pysians thumb that they are at the bottom of the pit, and continue to fall yže nekyda.
They are going to dig..."

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №24922
 17.01.2010
On the market are sold covers for home preservation. On the price list is written "Spring ". Passes the mother with the daughter of six or seven years, the girl reads the inscription and pronounces thoughtfully: "Sunset covers..."

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №24921
 17.01.2010
Thank you, unknown student, for attaching the spurs to the tree at the decanate!I found them 10 minutes before the exam

Z is.Dear Dean, do not clean the tree until the end of the session.)

[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24920
 17.01.2010
Petrovich: Anubis, I’ll jump out of the window and jump out of sorrow (((
Anubis: Petrovich, from the window - to the fox. Virtually

[ + 157 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24919
 17.01.2010
And you, as a child, loved watching the shows of Petrosyan and Anshlag, and you think this shit is stupid and humorous for starters? and :)

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №24918
 17.01.2010
On the third day, I study at home to play the blockchain.
Today, after my classes, the neighbors from above 10 minutes went to the mountain.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №24917
 17.01.2010
to this

Sexy little girl:
Where do you look at porn photos, videos of girls such smooth beautiful intimate places, just as if there was nothing grown there!!!))... What are they doing for that???! to
The McSim:
They do photoshop for that.

Damn)))) guys))) with one little quote you cured a large complex in one quiet girl))) I thought I was alone there even after the most painful hair removal is not perfectly smooth... I do not ask to bring anywhere, just THANK YOU to the author!
Aristotle, Desi is not.

[ + 115 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24916
 17.01.2010
The real shit is when after the protection of the diploma you sit in front of the monitor and think what to do with the folder "Learning".
And it's a pity to remove (5 years of work anyway) and leave no need to hide.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №24915
 17.01.2010
Men in the ZAGS, as well as in the military command, up to 27 years is better not to appear.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №24914
 17.01.2010
The grandson - a fun and mobile boy just under three years of age - does not want to go to bed. In fact, it is not difficult, you just need to get into bed and let you calm down. A few minutes - and squeeze two holes. But it is boring for him to lie down for these two minutes, so he makes up all sorts of activities for himself.
- get the ball from under the bed, go down to see how the cat is there, whether it is fed, build a tower of Lego cubes and other very important things.
He walks to his father and stretches a cubicle:
The phone!
He takes a cubicle and puts it on his ear:
Allo is?
and allo! The child is screaming, pressing the same cube to the ear. How is it?
Okay, the dad answered. How are you?
Toze Holoso!
Why are you still not sleeping?
The boy takes the cubicle from his ear, looks at it thoughtfully and says:
I do not hear. The Lazidini.

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №24913
 17.01.2010
Recently, the world championship in clutching among grandmothers: grandmother from
Russia bound two avosks and three moisturizers; a grandmother from Ukraine bound warm socks from dog wool; a grandmother from Belarus bound with a dozen snops; a grandmother from Turkey bound two countries by oil pipeline; a grandmother from Belarus.
The U.S. linked the construction of this oil pipeline with threats to the U.S.
China first connected an iPhone, then a fishing network; a grandmother from China
Israel has linked global warming to missile launches; grandmother
The Dutch could not bind a word; a Somali grandmother bound all the other grandmothers and demanded a ransom!

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №24912
 17.01.2010
The bandage on the eye of the pirate so that the eye does not have to get used to the darkness of the trum. Before entering, the pirate threw the bandage onto the other eye and boldly walked into the dark.
Written by ipeps or nistubdu, 15.01.2010 at 14:32 am to answer what he wrote? and.
Thirty + –
nistubdu: the wooden leg of the pirate so that he does not have to get used to the cold water of the sea of the lapteus for a long time, when the pirate comes out of the boat to the shore - he becomes a wooden foot in the water and the usual on the shore!
Written by avvadonn, 15.01.2010 at 14:57 pm answer what he wrote? and #8593;
61 + –
Avvadonn: in the pirate school in the first lesson cut off the leg, for which a puppy is given and the pirate does not cry
Written by ipeps or nistubdu, 15.01.2010 at 18.32:40 reply what he wrote? and #8593;

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №24911
 17.01.2010
to this:
I work in a pharmacy provider.

Man (40 years old): "Girl, give me, please, the ointment of the CUSTOMER (!) with a heating effect..."

It turned out, well, there was a lot of need for the butt of the locker))

***************************************
I was asked for the root of the silk once... at a girlfriend’s roaster instead of a roaster....))

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №24910
 17.01.2010
Apple has demanded that the editors of the well-known IT blog Valleywag cancel offers with rewards for information about the tablet Apple, because. All information on the tablet is the intellectual property of the company.
Valleywag considered this statement the best proof of the existence of the tablet and decided to award Michael Spielner (a lawyer representing Apple and the author of the letter) as the first person to provide reliable data about the device. He was sent: a disc with the film Blonde in the Law 2, a $25 Zune Marketplace prepaid card, as well as a set of kitchen knives.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №24909
 17.01.2010
I wake up this morning and see a note from my mother on the table: "Woman! buy l-the milk 2p., bread, broths and bread of white and black and cooked sausage in the store on Korolenko is "Klinskaya". Go there, fresh cucumbers, if you have enough money. That is."

Do you think my mom uses it too?

I write the answer on the sheet: "Well mom, I will buy milk 2p., bread, baking soda and bread of white and black and cooked sausage in the store on Korolenko.I go there, I will buy fresh cucumbers, if enough money, enough!

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