What about "Nihua"
Tagged: vacuum

The dean (once bitten by the rector) bites only professors or docents, who in turn bite candidates who love to bite graduate students. And only the latter lust students (these only bite peelmen with scholarships). A frequent mutation is observed when a student is bitten by a representative of the military committee and leads to the development of a completely different kind.

Valey: Guess what I did yesterday?
Loki: Did you invite a childhood friend to a duel on puddles? Going to the toilet standing on one leg? He laid a blanket under him and hid himself with a mattress. Have you watched the second third of your favorite movie in the reverse direction? Going for all couples? Throw the garbage in the open window on the first floor of a neighbor’s house? Without a break of 17 hours watched the most unrated videos on YouTube? 5 times called 4242, and then dropped?
Valey... fucking...

xxx: Today, there was a suicide-70 tab of paracetamol, the liver was carried out on the...
Buried the world, why do such fools live?
XXX is a sad story. On the 25th he married, on the 27th he fought with his aunt, and decided to kill himself! With his aunt I communicated, she must kill herself!!! We will save the enemies ;)

to this:

How much is a summary type:
No work experience.

Translated
I sit on the neck of my parents.

To whom did you surrender such naphids?
-----------
It is brilliant, Holmes. And where, fucking, to take this experience, if without experience you do not need anyone?

He was killed by his companion (T) hammer. He buried him and came to remember him. I drank a little and I begin to tell him about anabiotics, that hamsters are a common thing and that it is not possible to bury them yet. The man had fun and ran to check. 40 minutes later, he returns and says, “No, he’s definitely dead.”
I am, it smells badly.
T is no. not found

Love is...?
I will tell you so, comrades, the general music in the players is a jerk.
And if we go on to the virtual topic...

...This is when she (as the leader of the clan) scores on epic campaigns, sheds responsibility on the mask and goes to help you pass the first proof.
This is when she, seeing your slice in the code, will not say a single distinctive word, but will simply correct it. Even later will say "how good you have me, absolutely without mistakes".
That’s when she chooses to play with you online in left4dead and just talk about everything in a row because you’re bored. Instead of going with friends to the cosplay, which I waited for six months.
This is when she will tell you "I will wait" and wait for the message that the contact is online. Whenever it arises. An hour, two or five.
This is when she remembers the number of your ass, your idy in that dull contact, your mobile phone and all the characteristics of your charm.
It’s when she doesn’t be ashamed to show your photos to your girlfriends and say “yes, he’s beautiful, no matter what you are.”
That’s when she doesn’t care why you have a pathos-depressive status.
It’s when she just lives on the network because of one person. Because of you.
Guys, think, maybe you have one, but you don’t notice it.

They only look at those who are paranoid.

Werewolf (10:34:10 29/09/2009)
How does it taste like orbit "granite"? )

muravey
I saw four bombs in the park, they ate a lot.
muravey
I came and looked at his and chatta I wanted to eat it.
The Beer Baron
So if there is no difference, why go to work?

Something I forgot today that my son’s name is Misha.
I come home from work. The wife's question from the room:
and Misha?
Who is Misha? * * * *

Is it normal to tell a guy that you want him? x )
Art of course)
and AAAA. You are all >_<

They are angry.
I am angry with the advertisement of a deodorant in which the driver’s cheeks explode.
>_<

Commentary

Driver: I am so angry.

I am angry at the explosive that was thrown into me.

Director: tomorrow begins the shooting of a new advertising roll "medicine for constipation".... where the runners!

Reply: Do not have to!! to

Deodorant: And I was just doing it...

From Torrent:

XXX is people! The movie is shit! Someone to jump, please!!! I have to give up, rating is low!

Husband (going in signed medication boxes):
Where do we have condoms: in the heart or in the vitamins?

She just opens some hall of another theater and book places, drawing out a word. That’s how she met a guy :)
Yes, to all the disgusting about the occupied places a great greeting - because all this happens at night sessions, when people are almost not there ;)

One of the most successful jokes of past times belongs to the Englishman Horatio de Vir Cole. He distributed carefully selected tickets to the theater to men with baldness, as a result of which looking at their glowing skulls from the top row could clearly read a rough word.

Unfortunately, in anticipation of great happiness, many do not notice the small joys of life.

The shop of sofas came to us. The new model is called Ruslan. In principle, there is nothing extraordinary about the fact that sofas were brought to the furniture store, it is so, unless we consider that the carrier we also have.
Ruslan was. No, it still exists, but for us it already exists. There was one story here.
It all started with the fact that the same "Ruslan" - which sofa, bought from us one extravagant lady. Even in the store, all our brains were shattered: then her color was not the same, then the packaging was broken... When she left, everyone breathed with relief. As it turns out, early...
A week later, a call came from the director’s office. You know who called, right? Of course she. She promised to leave us all: from taxpayers to firefighters. The couch, you see, was broken.
What exactly broke, I can't explain, but it breaks and blows so that the telephone tube has warmed up.
The director is sweaty, calls the Russians, well, who is not a couch. She says, make money, she doesn’t joke, tomorrow we’ll get squeezed out of the checks. Go and see what’s there. Maybe there is something for five seconds, and if anything, explain that we will replace the furniture. Rusik is a good soul, and has already been mocked. The air pulled into himself so that the director did not hear, his head sneezed and waited for the address to be named. The director calls, says, I'm sorry, now we'll send a special. In three minutes everything will be fixed, he is already on the way, you only tell the address.
The next day, the Russians did not come to work. A day later too. This has been the case before: he will get into traffic jams, slide, break and can not get to work, but he at least called. They conducted a small investigation, and the director remembered where he sent him. It calls. The dialogue, in his words, was as follows:
Are you Elena Sergeevna?
and yes.
You are worried about the furniture store. Did you have our specialist?
Yes, he is here now.
Sorry, can you tell me what the reason is? Such a difficult break?
Can we replace the sofa? You know, we need a specialist here.
He and I decided he would no longer work with you.
...?... Sorry but why?
The work of the loader is not for him, he is capable of more. I have no time to talk to you. Do you still have questions?
...?... What about the sofa?
We are well without him! As they say, happiness is not in the couches. to Goodbye.

On the computer desk of Patriarch Kirill of All Russia the icons “Network Environment” and “My Documents” were blown up.

Ozzy Osbourne posted the following post on his Twitter diary (from September 24):

I just passed the driving exam. It took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life I got the right to drive a car, so be careful!
____________________________________________________________

How lucky that we live on a different continent :)