bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №20328
 14.09.2009
In response to:

So you say 256 days a year... September 13, right? Do you know which year this date falls on Friday?! to
The 2013!! Maya made a mistake, we will make the world a year later!!! to
Thunder, lightning, a hysterical laugh



Maya was not wrong. They specifically made such a calendar to destroy the world for a year before the programmers =) calculated scams...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №20327
 14.09.2009
Hersonia (16:28:18 13/09/2009)
the banner jumped out: "You will lose weight easily and unnoticed by 10kg!" defining the word UNNOCEPT!))))))))))))
Hersonia (16:29:42 13/09/2009)
This is probably when you come to a girlfriend and say "and I lost weight", and she in response "count unnoticed"

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №20326
 14.09.2009
Edward, I have already pointed your attention to the fact that in the development of commercial software it is extremely undesirable anywhere, even in the comments, to use the words "huy", "jopa", "pizzetz" and the like. And the error message with the text "basta, carapuziki" looks extremely unprofessional.

[ + 59 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20325
 14.09.2009
to this:
" The student 1 the course. A couple on the tower. Preponja considers some example on the board, gets some expression to divide by zero and decides further. Then he looks at us, suddenly silent, and so kindly says, "What, in school, was it not allowed to divide by zero? Now you can!"

You were told in school that if the discriminant is less than zero, then there is no root? It is wrong to say that there are roots.and "
____________________

Why did we go to school? = D

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №20324
 14.09.2009
Fartuk: write "9 symphony" :)
Bach: The Ninth Symphony
Fartuk: The curse of the Ninth Symphony is a superstition that, starting with Beethoven, every composer who wrote the Ninth Symphony dies shortly thereafter.
That is fucking :)
*Bah amused by GviN because: "mat:)"
It works ?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №20323
 14.09.2009
Blues is when a good man is bad.
Thrash is when a bad man is good.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №20322
 14.09.2009
I was at the club yesterday. Someone has lost a wondrous wardrobe. Without him, the jacket was not given. This is what the mind calls. The menta was scattered in the pockets, and the ship of the hanza was found. The jacket was not needed for a long time. will give out.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №20321
 14.09.2009
Barmoley :
The cat burned. Mom decided to cook the fish. Well, she poured water into the dishwasher, closed it with a traffic jamming and threw the fish there to freeze up, well, to wash. This smart man walked long circles, then began to try to catch fish with his legs. Almost dive there, but still nothing worked out. Finally, when he got stuck, he walked around the shell, sat next to the chain on which the block was attached, and, looking at his mother, pulled the block out of the chain with his leg.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №20320
 14.09.2009
Poor children...their parents are forced to earn money by dividing their attention. Children are protesting, some of them. Here is my sister, she has a child - a boy of almost 4 years. I and the horse I and the bull I and the grandmother and the man. Always building houses, knocking, drilling... The child is of course without attention. He also expressed his protest. GG is genius. are ready?
He brought a metal knife from the wardrobe, placed it in the middle of the hall and... shouted at it.
I understand the protest.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №20319
 14.09.2009
- What does it mean if the girl looked, lowered her eyes and licked her lips?
She is hungry and wants to eat.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №20318
 14.09.2009
Economy class is for those who save.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №20317
 14.09.2009
The Saga of the Lost Tub.

It is noted: if you watch news releases more often, then the desire to attend the circus will soon disappear due to unnecessity.
In a small Russian city, a major local trouble occurred: in one of the houses, water completely disappeared. The victims
They went to the proper instances, and almost immediately - in a month, came to fix the malfunction of the utilities. And here it all started.
No tubes and that is all. There is no pipe through which water flowed, it must be, and it is not. I searched for a metal detector and it didn’t help. Played in the courtyard in a battlefield: erupted the yard with barracks - it did not help. Gathered all the biggest bosses on the pipes - it did not help. By the way, while they were digging, searching enthusiastic, deprived of the sewage of the dwellers of the dehydrated house, but this is, in fact, an annoying little thing.
The most important chief said, "Someone once saw a scheme in the archives. It’s a scheme, not a plan, but absolutely exactly what I’ve seen, probably.
After consultation, the bosses decided that the evil pipe was laid under the neighboring house. A brilliant decision was made: to open the floors of the neighboring house and to dig there to the victorious end until this unfortunate pipe is found and exposed.
I suppose that during the search, light and gas will be struck, but victories without losses do not happen, as is the case.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №20316
 14.09.2009
Happiness is when children are full, dressed, healthy and not at home.

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20315
 14.09.2009
The xxx:
I got very sick, with the flu. My girlfriend came to visit me. I sent her to the store and asked her to buy juice. He ordered me to take an apple viper. Within 15 minutes comes with the juice "Bobry Garlic-vineyard"

The xxx:
What smiled me, however, is that the word "Arbuz" is sealed with a bright red mask and signed from the bottom "YabLoko" =)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №20314
 14.09.2009
List of patches to the Sims 3:

Eating a certain type of food no longer affects the gender of the unborn child.

The action "conception of a child" is no longer available with Death.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №20313
 14.09.2009
Found on the news website:
St. Petersburg parliamentarians considered and approved in the first reading a bill proposing to ban the sale of “harmful audio and video products” near universities.
...
Lawmakers recalled that adolescents from the age of 17 enter higher education institutions. And in order that, leaving the institute, they could not buy, for example, pornographic magazines, it was proposed to extend the effect of the law to the territory around the universities. It is expected that the ban will act within a radius of 150 meters from higher educational institutions.

The first comment killed:
"Tofik // 11 September 2009 - 17:26:53

The right decision.
Students do not need porn magazines, they surf the internet with torrents porn in HD quality. And paper porn is bought by these St. Petersburg parliamentarians, because thanks to their age with the computer they are "on you".

Therefore, pornography should be sold 150 meters closer to the Legislative Assembly.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №20312
 14.09.2009
X: Did you call me?
and :NA
X: Who are you and your grandmother?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20311
 14.09.2009
It was the funniest thing I didn’t know about having sex.
Woo was sure he’t be.
Wow though, she shaved her legs and there and put on beautiful clothes.
Well, well, and the body was sprayed with a delicious spray.
I changed bed and laundry.
Wow, but I definitely decided that there would be no sex ?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №20310
 14.09.2009
Wicked (16:13:17 13/09/2009)
falling on the keyboard with the face

xxx (16:13:28 13/09/2009)
and Eat *

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №20309
 14.09.2009
“Well, will we meet tonight?
He: I have something in my chest beating about the rib (in love)
She: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! to
It is a stranger!!!! to
Kill yourself immediately!!! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna